My boyfriend ignored my text for hours.

[Gaeta]

53 minutes ago, kalisays said:

No, we’ve been on like 5 dates…

5 dates in 2 weeks? 

[kalisays]

5 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

5 dates in 2 weeks? 

5 dates in nearly 4 weeks

[Gaeta]

4 minutes ago, kalisays said:

5 dates in nearly 4 weeks

Ok it's confusing a bit. You said you've been dating 2 weeks

[smackie9]

Look guys are not mind readers. If you wish he had responded to you in a timely manner then say something, instead of assuming a bunch of insecure stuff.

[IrinaM]

@kalisayswho suggested this Wednesday/art gallery date? Did you suggest it & he just agreed? I'm thinking maybe he was not really interested in that date in the first place, and then when he got a text from you asking to change the day, he was just like whatever.

 

You seem extremely insecure, which is something you should see a therapist for (on a regular ongoing basis). However, just because you're insecure doesn't mean he's really interested. It seems to me that you are insecure and clingy and also he's just not into you. For sure he doesn't want to go to the art gallery with you next week, I think we all agree to that.

[Wiseman2]

3 hours ago, kalisays said:

then he ignores me over text. Honestly makes me feel like I’m not a priority to him. 

Did you recently breakup with someone you could not trust? It's odd you are treating 5 dates as a relationship.

You need to look at his actions and that is 5 dates in 4 weeks. Rather casual, even if you've had sex.

Texting is meaningless. It's cheap, lazy and can be done while he's on a date with someone else, while watching TV or on the toilet.

Are you exclusive? Calling you "GF" could have been to have sex. That as well is cheap, lazy and doesn't mean anything.

Unfortunately it is insincere and gives you the wrong impression that you are in a relationship rather than just having 5 dates.

[glows]

4 hours ago, kalisays said:

See, thats what Im afraid of. In person he acts so into me, always complimenting me and telling me he’s lucky to have met me, then he ignores me over text. Honestly makes me feel like I’m not a priority to him. 

There's a possibility you're not compatible. If you're unhappy be honest with yourself. I try to check my messages every two days so at the end of 48 hours I'll respond to anything that needs a response otherwise I won't respond in general. It seems you are happiest with more daily communication. You don't have to keep meeting with a guy you're not happy with or isn't on your wavelength. This is really your judgment call at the end of the day.

[Daisydooks]

9 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Huh? Where are coming up to that extreme conclusion?

I doubt he is that fragile or catastrophic in his thinking.  

She is. Why couldnt he also be? Is it so far out of left field to think he is as fragile as she is though? Haha I mean, maybe he is as butthurt over it as she is about being ignored for 5 hours (even if none of us find any reason for them to feel this way.)

[ExpatInItaly]

7 minutes ago, Daisydooks said:

Is it so far out of left field to think he is as fragile as she is though?

To conclude after 1 request to reschedule a date means that she will never consider his feelings? 

Yes, I would say it is pretty far out of left field. Even OP isn't quite that extreme in her anxiety over this. 

Edited August 13, 2021 by ExpatInItaly

[Alpacalia]

21 hours ago, kalisays said:

Was his behaviour kind of odd?

Possibly.

Maybe he just needs some time to collect his thoughts.

It could be anything really.

At this point all you can do is take a wait and see approach.

[FudgeSwirl]

Insecurity can sabotage a relationship.  Because communication is at the tips of our fingers these days thanks to texting it has only increased people's anxiety.  The key is not to overanalyze texts or a texting patterns.  

Him not responding to your text for several hours isn't odd even if you are his first girlfriend.  Some people see texts but don't respond to them for many reasons that have nothing to do with ignoring the recipient.  When it comes to plans, especially rescheduling, in my opinion the best way to go about it is via phone call.  

[kalisays]

17 hours ago, IrinaM said:

@kalisayswho suggested this Wednesday/art gallery date? Did you suggest it & he just agreed? I'm thinking maybe he was not really interested in that date in the first place, and then when he got a text from you asking to change the day, he was just like whatever.

 

You seem extremely insecure, which is something you should see a therapist for (on a regular ongoing basis). However, just because you're insecure doesn't mean he's really interested. It seems to me that you are insecure and clingy and also he's just not into you. For sure he doesn't want to go to the art gallery with you next week, I think we all agree to that.

It was actually his suggestion to go there in the first place…he was the one who even brought it up.

[kalisays]

16 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Did you recently breakup with someone you could not trust? It's odd you are treating 5 dates as a relationship.

You need to look at his actions and that is 5 dates in 4 weeks. Rather casual, even if you've had sex.

Texting is meaningless. It's cheap, lazy and can be done while he's on a date with someone else, while watching TV or on the toilet.

Are you exclusive? Calling you "GF" could have been to have sex. That as well is cheap, lazy and doesn't mean anything.

Unfortunately it is insincere and gives you the wrong impression that you are in a relationship rather than just having 5 dates.

Honestly, he was the one who suggested we become exclusive. He was the one who asked me to be his girlfriend. I never so much as hinted at it. Works out, because I wanted to be his girlfriend. And no, I don’t do sex this early in a relationship.

[d0nnivain]

So what is the status of things now?  Do you know if you have a date on Monday?  If not, when do you plan to clarify?