ohso Posted August 12, 2021 Share Posted August 12, 2021 I recognized I was neurotic and tried to fix it by controlling my emotions and not allowing myself to make decisions based on them. I try to rationalize everything to the point I trained myself not to feel much. Now it's too scary for me to let go and have feelings for anyone. Since every time I did that, I got hurt. Now i calculate everything. My life is more stable this way, but I am unhappy. Can anyone relate and maybe advise me something? I can't find the balance. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted August 30, 2021 Share Posted August 30, 2021 (edited) I would find it very difficult to live life without paying attention to emotions, ohso. In a work situation, one does need to rationalise and to deal with things professionally, trying not to let emotions take over. In your personal life, you need to be freer to express yourself and that means having access to your feelings. Being rational and careful is valuable in lots of circumstances, including personal life, but one also needs to pay attention to emotions and what they are telling us. Eugene Gendlin is credited as bringing the technique of 'Focusing' to psychological practice: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Focusing_(psychotherapy) You might find some of his ideas and techniques useful. I do believe that emotions are important signals and that our body sends us these signals to alert us to problems and also to happiness. If you are feeling very happy and relaxed with someone you have know for a while and trust, that is telling you one thing. If you are feeling tense, uneasy and anxious with that person, that is telling you something else. Our body reacts instinctively to threats and usually we know this by experiencing strong bodily and emotional discomfort. Maybe if you could learn to trust your emotions and bodily instincts more, you will find some sort of balance? Having the rational side to look at what you are experiencing is also important. Looking at things rationally and also paying attention to your feelings should give you some indicators as to whether what you are doing is good for you or not. Edited August 30, 2021 by spiderowl Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted August 30, 2021 Share Posted August 30, 2021 On 8/12/2021 at 10:55 AM, ohso said: I recognized I was neurotic and tried to fix it by controlling my emotions and not allowing myself to make decisions based on them. I try to rationalize everything to the point I trained myself not to feel much. Now it's too scary for me to let go and have feelings for anyone. Since every time I did that, I got hurt. Now i calculate everything. My life is more stable this way, but I am unhappy. Can anyone relate and maybe advise me something? I can't find the balance. If you are more rational, then rationalize that your emotions assist in decision-making processes also. Use them like litmus tests and an added tool when working with others and experiencing life around you. What elicits happiness in your life? Create goals to achieve more of those things. It sounds like you're afraid of your emotions getting out of hand or becoming uncontrollable, leading to instability. Your emotions can help stabilize you too and help you visualize what's important to you in life. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 30, 2021 Share Posted August 30, 2021 Baby steps. Trust another person with some little. Work your way up to wholehearted sharing. Link to post Share on other sites
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