Author Classicfiction Posted August 13, 2021 Author Posted August 13, 2021 2 hours ago, Weezy1973 said: Could be a lot of reasons, but the most likely especially with OLD, is aspirational dating. That is these guys are appealing because they’re a bit out of your league. You not being in good enough shape is a good example. Which is why they’re unavailable to you. Don’t worry though, the women that they’re “holding out” for are also out of their league, and unavailable to them…. Lol what a sh**fest. I'm gonna go meet a guy at church!
Miss Spider Posted August 13, 2021 Posted August 13, 2021 I think there are people who use to make you jealous. In my experience guys can play almost as many games as chicks. But then I’m sure there are also guys that are just dogs and doing it because they feel that way and can’t help themselves haha. It really depends and you have to see the whole situation.
Author Classicfiction Posted August 13, 2021 Author Posted August 13, 2021 You know that is kinda what I've been feeling... like some of them are doing it as a game. I almost wonder if there's an "out of reach" woman on the other side of the situation. Like they want to keep me hooked as a back up while they persue the woman thats a bit beyond their means. And maybe thats a result of the dating app situation. I really don't want to be a fallback chick or someone's second choice. That would really suck! On a positive note, I'm feeling pretty motivated to get back in shape.
Miss Spider Posted August 13, 2021 Posted August 13, 2021 Most people have that out of reach person, but when the meet someone awesome enough, the out of reach person dissipates. You got to find someone who thinks you’re awesome 1
Author Classicfiction Posted August 13, 2021 Author Posted August 13, 2021 1 hour ago, Cookiesandough said: Most people have that out of reach person, but when the meet someone awesome enough, the out of reach person dissipates. You got to find someone who thinks you’re awesome Thats a great way of putting it. Thank you for the encouragment I'm hopeful and I think changing my patterns will help. I'm definitely going to stop wasting time when/if it becomes apparent the guy isnt feeling me. 1
poppyfields Posted August 13, 2021 Posted August 13, 2021 4 hours ago, Classicfiction said: You know that is kinda what I've been feeling... like some of them are doing it as a game. I almost wonder if there's an "out of reach" woman on the other side of the situation. Solution: YOU become their "out of reach" woman! 1
Miss Spider Posted August 14, 2021 Posted August 14, 2021 (edited) The out of reach person isn’t even real and usually can’t be. That’s just it. If the out of reach person is in reach, the fantasy dies. They’re an abstraction with a paradoxical combination of traits they find attractive throughout different parts of their life projected onto a person they don’t know but find physically attractive. . Out of reach person is perfect in ways no real person could ever be. Brdt Edited August 14, 2021 by Cookiesandough 1
Author Classicfiction Posted August 14, 2021 Author Posted August 14, 2021 24 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Solution: YOU become their "out of reach" woman! Hahaha I lol'ed
Author Classicfiction Posted August 14, 2021 Author Posted August 14, 2021 7 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: The out of reach person isn’t even real and usually can’t be. That’s just it. If the out of reach person is in reach, the fantasy dies. They’re an abstraction with a paradoxical combination of traits they find attractive throughout different parts of their life projected onto a person they don’t know but find physically attractive. . Out of reach person is perfect in ways no real person could ever be. Brdt I think this is true. And at the same time I think that men can and do meet a woman in their lives who is just enough out of reach until finally attainable. And that's the one that makes them decide to clean up their act. At least in certain circumstances. Like I would imagine that if Mr. love-handle grabber really saw me as worth his time and not disposable, he would have never said what he did in my ear as he was oogling my friend. So.. @Cookiesandough , circling back to what you said before, some men act that way because they can. They aren't bothered by the idea of losing that particular woman, so they aren't concerned with the outcome of being disrespectful and piggish. 1
Miss Spider Posted August 14, 2021 Posted August 14, 2021 Hahaha yea you gotta be someone’s good enough. Sounds horrible out that way but most people are idealists in that regard. At least the shoes aren’t that much to fill lol
Author Classicfiction Posted August 14, 2021 Author Posted August 14, 2021 27 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: Hahaha yea you gotta be someone’s good enough. Sounds horrible out that way but most people are idealists in that regard. At least the shoes aren’t that much to fill lol Well I would hope to be more than good enough for someone at some point! Lol I mean, when a guy realizes... ok yeah I'm not going to do better than this woman in a way that makes him realize he's not going to risk some stupid bs game playing, rude @ss negs etc. especially in the beginning
Weezy1973 Posted August 14, 2021 Posted August 14, 2021 4 hours ago, poppyfields said: Solution: YOU become their "out of reach" woman! The problem is she (or pretty much everybody) IS the out of reach woman to men she’s not particularly interested in / attracted to.
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