Author Starrs Posted August 12, 2021 Author Share Posted August 12, 2021 6 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Last night? And you're whining about Vacation Guy not communicating enough with you? Let this Vacation Guy go. You are using him for attention and an ego-stroke. Not cool. well i wanted to see if i could get him back, because if i had to choose the last guy over the new guy, i would choose the last guy as i still think about him a lot still. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 12, 2021 Share Posted August 12, 2021 2 minutes ago, Starrs said: well i wanted to see if i could get him back, because if i had to choose the last guy over the new guy, i would choose the last guy as i still think about him a lot still. Please, stay single for a while and learn how to be on your own without needing a boyfriend to make yourself feel better. What you are doing here is not right. It's not fair at all to Vacation Guy. Let him go so he can find a girl who actually appreciates him and doesn't use him for her own selfish agenda. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 12, 2021 Share Posted August 12, 2021 2 hours ago, Starrs said: he already lets me stay over anytime i want to. You have been on three dates with the man. Only three dates. And, if he does let you “stay over anytime you want to” that speaks to increasingly poor boundaries on both your part. 1 hour ago, Starrs said: i nearly loved him. Geez Louise. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 13, 2021 Share Posted August 13, 2021 11 hours ago, Starrs said: my parents wouldn’t know about him until we got serious and why else would he want me to live with him? he already lets me stay over anytime i want to. it’s a clear indication he actually likes me. You are the one talking about moving in with Vacation Guy when all the while you are pining for your EX-BF. BTW Vacation Guy lets you sleep over because he wants to get laid. I'm sure he likes you but that is a far cry from wanting a relationship with you. Do you really think he's going to go forward with even this date when he gets home once he learns you are still hung up on your EX. Stop using this guy 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Starrs Posted August 13, 2021 Author Share Posted August 13, 2021 51 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: You are the one talking about moving in with Vacation Guy when all the while you are pining for your EX-BF. BTW Vacation Guy lets you sleep over because he wants to get laid. I'm sure he likes you but that is a far cry from wanting a relationship with you. Do you really think he's going to go forward with even this date when he gets home once he learns you are still hung up on your EX. Stop using this guy i am not using him, he said we will be spending all saturday together he is driving me 3 hours away from his house. most guys wouldn’t do that! Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 13, 2021 Share Posted August 13, 2021 8 hours ago, Starrs said: he said we will be spending all saturday together. Ok. So you have a date lined up. Good. Relax. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 13, 2021 Share Posted August 13, 2021 (edited) 9 hours ago, Starrs said: i am not using him You absolutley are. You tried to see if your ex would give you another chance just a couple nights ago. Your behaviour here is astonishingly selfish. With due respect, when you're letting one guy think you're into him but still reaching out to an ex, you are not at all ready for a relationship. Edited August 13, 2021 by ExpatInItaly 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Starrs Posted August 13, 2021 Author Share Posted August 13, 2021 1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said: You absolutley are. You tried to see if your ex would give you another chance just a couple nights ago. Your behaviour here is astonishingly selfish. With due respect, when you're letting one guy think you're into him but still reaching out to an ex, you are not at all ready for a relationship. that is true but my ex said he doesn’t want to talk or meet up anymore. he told me to stop texting me and blocked me again he still hates me. but that’s okay, because this guy is way more attractive anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 13, 2021 Share Posted August 13, 2021 14 minutes ago, Starrs said: that is true but my ex said he doesn’t want to talk or meet up anymore. he told me to stop texting me and blocked me again he still hates me. And so? How does that justify you taking advantage of this other guy who likes you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 13, 2021 Share Posted August 13, 2021 10 hours ago, Starrs said: i am not using him, he said we will be spending all saturday together he is driving me 3 hours away from his house. most guys wouldn’t do that! Yes you are using him. If your EX was available, you would be with your EX. You are only with this "way more attractive" guy because your EX rejected you. As for your statement that "most guys" wouldn't drive 3 hours away from their house, I don't know what kind of people you hang out with, but every man I know would do that. It's a drive in pursuit of sex, not a commitment. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Starrs Posted August 13, 2021 Author Share Posted August 13, 2021 1 hour ago, d0nnivain said: As for your statement that "most guys" wouldn't drive 3 hours away from their house, I don't know what kind of people you hang out with, but every man I know would do that. It's a drive in pursuit of sex, not a commitment. why would any guy drive 3 hours for sex? he is taking me to see a nice view and spend quality time together he said it’s a “date”. he never said anything about sex he said “we like each other and want to get to know each other better”. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Starrs Posted August 13, 2021 Author Share Posted August 13, 2021 1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said: And so? How does that justify you taking advantage of this other guy who likes you? i was only trying to see if he could talk to me again i left him alone for a month. i didn’t think he would still hate me, i moved on but he got rich now and has a huge house and a expensive car. this other guy is cute but young and doesn’t have as much money compared to my ex. my ex is VP for the company he works for now when we were together he wasn’t. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 13, 2021 Share Posted August 13, 2021 45 minutes ago, Starrs said: i was only trying to see if he could talk to me again i left him alone for a month. i didn’t think he would still hate me, i moved on but he got rich now and has a huge house and a expensive car. this other guy is cute but young and doesn’t have as much money compared to my ex. my ex is VP for the company he works for now when we were together he wasn’t. What does this guy or your ex's money have to do with you? Do you see men for money? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 13, 2021 Share Posted August 13, 2021 47 minutes ago, Starrs said: i was only trying to see if he could talk to me again i left him alone for a month. i didn’t think he would still hate me, i moved on but he got rich now and has a huge house and a expensive car. this other guy is cute but young and doesn’t have as much money compared to my ex. my ex is VP for the company he works for now when we were together he wasn’t. I didn't ask why you contacted him. I didn't ask for his resumé. I asked this: how do you justify treating Vacation Guy this way? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Daisydooks Posted August 15, 2021 Share Posted August 15, 2021 On 8/13/2021 at 7:23 AM, Starrs said: that is true but my ex said he doesn’t want to talk or meet up anymore. he told me to stop texting me and blocked me again he still hates me. but that’s okay, because this guy is way more attractive anyways. What happened and why did this relationship end after 6 months? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Starrs Posted August 16, 2021 Author Share Posted August 16, 2021 On 8/15/2021 at 1:06 AM, Daisydooks said: What happened and why did this relationship end after 6 months? because of my actions, he said they drove him away. and i agree i was very immature. i wouldn’t give him space and would blow up his phone when i felt he was ignoring me. since then i learned my lesson i am not trying to screw things over anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Starrs Posted August 16, 2021 Author Share Posted August 16, 2021 On 8/13/2021 at 10:18 AM, ExpatInItaly said: I didn't ask why you contacted him. I didn't ask for his resumé. I asked this: how do you justify treating Vacation Guy this way? it does not matter, he seems to be losing interest anyways. he hasn’t replied in 2 days and he’s back from vacation as he posted a snap drinking on saturday night. he also rescheduled for this coming saturday. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 16, 2021 Share Posted August 16, 2021 (edited) OK so you learned not to be so clingy with your EX. What is presently going on with Vacation Guy now that he's home? Just saw your 2nd post about the welcome home date getting pushed back a week. That is not great but maybe it's another lesson in patience you need to practice. Edited August 16, 2021 by d0nnivain Link to post Share on other sites
Author Starrs Posted August 16, 2021 Author Share Posted August 16, 2021 Just now, d0nnivain said: OK so you learned not to be so clingy with your EX. What is presently going on with Vacation Guy now that he's home? he has been distant, i messaged him if we are still on for this past saturday he said “sorry but i wanna spend time with my buddies, you can join if you want to” i obviously didn’t join them, i got upset and he said we are definitely going next saturday if his car is back. i don’t trust him, his car has been in the shop for over a month now. i messaged him again this morning “good morning!” no response idk what to do he stopped replying on saturday after i said “i’m sorry but i’m not interested in going.” Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 16, 2021 Share Posted August 16, 2021 Chill. He invited you along so it's better than I thought. It's good when a man wants to introduce you to his friends. Yes it sucks that he changed the nature of the date with you from one on one romance to time with the buddies but why didn't you go? It might have been fun. So Saturday he's out with the boys. You have to assume that ran into the wee hours & he was drunk. So Sunday was all about nursing his hangover & getting over his jet lag, doing laundry from the vacation etc. See if he gets back to you later today. I see communication from him. You just don't see it on the instant time table you want. Again, you need to learn patience. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 16, 2021 Share Posted August 16, 2021 (edited) 18 minutes ago, Starrs said: i don’t trust him, This is ironic, considering you tried to see if your ex wanted you back just days ago. You are not behaving in a trustworthy manner here, and you don't trust him? You need to check youself here, Starrs. You're really quite hypocritical, and what's incredible is you don't even see the total double standard you operate on. Edited August 16, 2021 by ExpatInItaly 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Starrs Posted August 16, 2021 Author Share Posted August 16, 2021 11 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: This is ironic, considering you tried to see if your ex wanted you back just days ago. You are not behaving in a trustworthy manner here, and you don't trust him? You need to check youself here, Starrs. You're really quite hypocritical, and what's incredible is you don't even see the total double standard you operate on. i am very interested in this guy, yes i let my emotions take control which is why i messaged my ex to begin with. i just don’t like how he’s texting less and less. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Starrs Posted August 16, 2021 Author Share Posted August 16, 2021 26 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: Yes it sucks that he changed the nature of the date with you from one on one romance to time with the buddies but why didn't you go? because i felt uncomfortable, being around a bunch of random drunk people. i think he’s mad at me, should i ask if everything is ok? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 16, 2021 Share Posted August 16, 2021 If you don't trust him & now you are frustrated by the fact that he's texting less, end this. There is nothing if you don't have trust. However you do need recognize that you are applying your behavior standards to him. You are untrustworthy so you think every body else is too. When you were upset with him your 1st response was to try to rekindle things with your EX. You assume others react the same way -- seeking validation from members of the opposite sex. No you should not reach out & ask if things are OK. You didn't go. He probably wasn't as upset by that as you wanted him to be but understand it did nothing to foster your relationship with him. Had you shown up, had 1-2 drinks even if you drank soda / water / juice & then gone home before people got drunk your presence would have signaled interest in his life & friends. He sees you saying no as either game playing or lack of interest / rejection so he's cooling his jets. Patience is your best play here. Give him a day or two. By Wednesday / Thursday confirm the Saturday night plans but otherwise play it cool Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 16, 2021 Share Posted August 16, 2021 19 minutes ago, Starrs said: i just don’t like how he’s texting less and less. You might just have to concede that he's not as interested as you thought. Link to post Share on other sites
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