Saartje Posted August 9, 2021 Posted August 9, 2021 (edited) So I dated this guy last Saturday. It was a funny guy, though he had a few weird moments.. Firts of all, he said that he was still a bit hung-over and if he hadn’t been hung-over than he’d have more energy and we would probably be having sex in the bar that we were in and he would take me to the toilet to do some ‘nasty stuff’. Second moment came when the waitress was asking us if we liked our drink. He said to her; ‘yeah, i put in some drugs in her drink, hope she won’t notice’. Waitress looked all weird at him, I was embarrassed. Second of all, he was constantly joking with several waitresses as they approached us to help us out. Not really flirting, but making weird jokes that made them feel awkward as well (at least, that’s what they looked like). He also had a few stories about times that he had to work in a place where there were lots of pretty women and he jokingly said that it was like heaven to him. Pretty weird to open up about this on a first date right? His social media shows him following tons of pretty women/models/actresses etc. But, the rest of the date was quite nice. He seem interested, we had a lot in common and at the end he was a gentleman by walking with me to my car and then giving me a small kiss on the forehead. I’m kinda conflicted; one side of me says ‘run for the hills’, the other side is kinda curious what he is like on a second date. Edited August 9, 2021 by Saartje 2
Miss Spider Posted August 9, 2021 Posted August 9, 2021 (edited) 16 minutes ago, Saartje said: So I dated this guy last Saturday. It was a funny guy, though he had a few weird moments.. Firts of all, he said that he was still a bit hung-over and if he hadn’t been hung-over than he’d have more energy and we would probably be having sex in the bar that we were in and he would take me to the toilet to do some ‘nasty stuff’. Second moment came when the waitress was asking us if we liked our drink. He said to her; ‘yeah, i put in some drugs in her drink, hope she won’t notice’. Waitress looked all weird at him, I was embarrassed. Second of all, he was constantly joking with several waitresses as they approached us to help us out. Not really flirting, but making weird jokes that made them feel awkward as well (at least, that’s what they looked like). He also had a few stories about times that he had to work in a place where there were lots of pretty women and he jokingly said that it was like heaven to him. Pretty weird to open up about this on a first date right? His social media shows him following tons of pretty women/models/actresses etc. But, the rest of the date was quite nice. He seem interested, we had a lot in common and at the end he was a gentleman by walking with me to my car and then giving me a small kiss on the forehead. I’m kinda conflicted; one side of me says ‘run for the hills’, the other side is kinda curious what he is like on a second date. Jesus. Where are you guys finding all these freaks? And I kind I have their number? You’re definitely not too sensitive, but I’d honestly go again for the curiosity aspect as well Edited August 9, 2021 by Cookiesandough
ExpatInItaly Posted August 9, 2021 Posted August 9, 2021 No way would I bother with another date He is crass, lacks social skills and is basically an over-grown frat boy. Ugh. Next. 5
glows Posted August 9, 2021 Posted August 9, 2021 58 minutes ago, Saartje said: So I dated this guy last Saturday. It was a funny guy, though he had a few weird moments.. Firts of all, he said that he was still a bit hung-over and if he hadn’t been hung-over than he’d have more energy and we would probably be having sex in the bar that we were in and he would take me to the toilet to do some ‘nasty stuff’. Second moment came when the waitress was asking us if we liked our drink. He said to her; ‘yeah, i put in some drugs in her drink, hope she won’t notice’. Waitress looked all weird at him, I was embarrassed. Second of all, he was constantly joking with several waitresses as they approached us to help us out. Not really flirting, but making weird jokes that made them feel awkward as well (at least, that’s what they looked like). He also had a few stories about times that he had to work in a place where there were lots of pretty women and he jokingly said that it was like heaven to him. Pretty weird to open up about this on a first date right? His social media shows him following tons of pretty women/models/actresses etc. But, the rest of the date was quite nice. He seem interested, we had a lot in common and at the end he was a gentleman by walking with me to my car and then giving me a small kiss on the forehead. I’m kinda conflicted; one side of me says ‘run for the hills’, the other side is kinda curious what he is like on a second date. It doesn't matter if he's interested. The question is why you are interested in someone like this. He sounds pretty low, Saartje. If you go on a second date with this person, have some clear idea of what you're looking for. Maybe it is casual sex or a one time fling. Be mindful of STDs or other complications. 4
Ami1uwant Posted August 9, 2021 Posted August 9, 2021 How much did alcohol play into thisis wellas his first date nerves.
Wiseman2 Posted August 9, 2021 Posted August 9, 2021 2 hours ago, Saartje said: he would take me to the toilet to do some ‘nasty stuff’. He said to her; ‘yeah, i put in some drugs in her drink, hope she won’t notice’. he was a gentleman by walking with me to my car. Somehow these statements contradict themselves. He may have walked you to your car but a lot of the other stuff should have registered pretty high on the creep scale. Like 11 out of 1-10. 5 1
SumGuy Posted August 9, 2021 Posted August 9, 2021 3 hours ago, Saartje said: ...I’m kinda conflicted; one side of me says ‘run for the hills’, the other side is kinda curious what he is like on a second date. Curious about what, that he will follow through with putting your drugs in your drink or pressure you for a hook-up in a bar bathroom. His behavior is way more than just weird, or odd; it is creepy and sleazy in all the bad ways. Run, Saartje, run ! 3
Miss Spider Posted August 9, 2021 Posted August 9, 2021 (edited) Yea I agree with sum guy. I mean I’m curious and find weirdos funny , but this guy seems like he might be dangerous . The manner of stuff he “joked” about is a step further than just a horny guy who wants sex Edited August 9, 2021 by Cookiesandough 2
SumGuy Posted August 9, 2021 Posted August 9, 2021 1 hour ago, Ami1uwant said: How much did alcohol play into thisis wellas his first date nerves. I know when I am nervous my go to statement is to suggest we get nasty in a nasty ass bar bathroom, or make jokes about felony assault and rape. NOT! Just to be clear I don't do that, never would, would never even cross my mind no matter how drunk I was. As to the role of alcohol, sure in vino veritas...so even more reason to run. 5
lana-banana Posted August 9, 2021 Posted August 9, 2021 A grown adult who thinks it's appropriate to joke about date raping you on your first date is so far out of the league of normal, acceptable behavior that it defies description. This is not a red flag so much as it is the platonic form of red flags. Run. 6 1
IntBrowser Posted August 10, 2021 Posted August 10, 2021 10 hours ago, Saartje said: So I dated this guy last Saturday. It was a funny guy, though he had a few weird moments.. Firts of all, he said that he was still a bit hung-over and if he hadn’t been hung-over than he’d have more energy and we would probably be having sex in the bar that we were in and he would take me to the toilet to do some ‘nasty stuff’. Second moment came when the waitress was asking us if we liked our drink. He said to her; ‘yeah, i put in some drugs in her drink, hope she won’t notice’. Waitress looked all weird at him, I was embarrassed. Second of all, he was constantly joking with several waitresses as they approached us to help us out. Not really flirting, but making weird jokes that made them feel awkward as well (at least, that’s what they looked like). He also had a few stories about times that he had to work in a place where there were lots of pretty women and he jokingly said that it was like heaven to him. Pretty weird to open up about this on a first date right? His social media shows him following tons of pretty women/models/actresses etc. But, the rest of the date was quite nice. He seem interested, we had a lot in common and at the end he was a gentleman by walking with me to my car and then giving me a small kiss on the forehead. I’m kinda conflicted; one side of me says ‘run for the hills’, the other side is kinda curious what he is like on a second date. He must be fine
CaliforniaGirl Posted August 10, 2021 Posted August 10, 2021 12 hours ago, Saartje said: So I dated this guy last Saturday. It was a funny guy, though he had a few weird moments.. Firts of all, he said that he was still a bit hung-over and if he hadn’t been hung-over than he’d have more energy and we would probably be having sex in the bar that we were in and he would take me to the toilet to do some ‘nasty stuff’. Second moment came when the waitress was asking us if we liked our drink. He said to her; ‘yeah, i put in some drugs in her drink, hope she won’t notice’. Waitress looked all weird at him, I was embarrassed. Second of all, he was constantly joking with several waitresses as they approached us to help us out. Not really flirting, but making weird jokes that made them feel awkward as well (at least, that’s what they looked like). He also had a few stories about times that he had to work in a place where there were lots of pretty women and he jokingly said that it was like heaven to him. Pretty weird to open up about this on a first date right? His social media shows him following tons of pretty women/models/actresses etc. But, the rest of the date was quite nice. He seem interested, we had a lot in common and at the end he was a gentleman by walking with me to my car and then giving me a small kiss on the forehead. I’m kinda conflicted; one side of me says ‘run for the hills’, the other side is kinda curious what he is like on a second date. Holy cow but that's weird. I'd be running.
Noproblem Posted August 10, 2021 Posted August 10, 2021 (edited) Ok, if you were that important to him as a date, he wouldn't even drink that much the previous night or hours before meeting you and be hung over on the first date. Eww He already showed you what he really is. An embarrassing careless guy who loves pretty women and doesn't think twice about bothering them with his cringe worthy jokes and you are one of these women. Edited August 10, 2021 by Noproblem 1
ShyViolet Posted August 10, 2021 Posted August 10, 2021 Why would you even consider going on a second date with this creepy weirdo? 2
bene Posted August 10, 2021 Posted August 10, 2021 (edited) 17 hours ago, Saartje said: if he hadn’t been hung-over than he’d have more energy and we would probably be having sex in the bar that we were in and he would take me to the toilet to do some ‘nasty stuff’ 17 hours ago, Saartje said: he was a gentleman Seriously, this whole thing was so weird that I’d suspect that it’s some kind of social experiment. There is no way in hell that a sane grown man doesn’t know any better. Edited August 10, 2021 by bene 2
bene Posted August 10, 2021 Posted August 10, 2021 One more thing, I believe that when people are “joking” they are often saying exactly what they mean. “Joking” leaves the door open to soften what you have said but the words that come out of your mouth come from your brain. I’d be very wary of such crude jokes on the first date when you don’t know anything about each other’s sense of humor. It’s one thing to make weird jokes among good friends but there is clearly a line what is appropriate with new acquaintances. 3
d0nnivain Posted August 10, 2021 Posted August 10, 2021 His sense of humor is warped at best. On a first date one needs to be on their best behavior, not making obnoxious jokes. I'd take a pass on a 2nd date with this guy. 1
Ami1uwant Posted August 11, 2021 Posted August 11, 2021 On 8/9/2021 at 1:05 PM, SumGuy said: I know when I am nervous my go to statement is to suggest we get nasty in a nasty ass bar bathroom, or make jokes about felony assault and rape. NOT! Just to be clear I don't do that, never would, would never even cross my mind no matter how drunk I was. As to the role of alcohol, sure in vino veritas...so even more reason to run. If some people had two much to drink their personality can change.
Snow_Queen Posted August 11, 2021 Posted August 11, 2021 Those are not red flags. They are loud warning sirens. That kind of behavior goes well beyond a little quirky. The fact his personality can change so rapidly is a huge warning, intoxicated or not. 1
spiderowl Posted August 12, 2021 Posted August 12, 2021 I can see why you feel conflicted. The creepy side of the guy is there as well as the other, better side. I would be concerned this guy will switch from one personality to another and not be safe.
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