The only reason I didnt delete her number and block her for cancelling the 1st date was because she suggested the next day

[IntBrowser]

If she had said............"what about next weekend?"     I would have said BYE and hung up on her lol            I had a date scheduled for tomorrow and made reservations and she said she had to cancel because of her nephew birthday party?    So she said.........."how bout sunday?     So lets see if she comes up with another excuse.      But once someone cancel I start to feel like it wont happen and feel like another excuse is coming.         So I wonder when I call tomorrow will I get the voicemail?     But to cancel a date because of a 3 year old birthday just sounded weird as hell.

[ExpatInItaly]

4 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

I had a date scheduled for tomorrow and made reservations and she said she had to cancel because of her nephew birthday party?    So she said.........."how bout sunday?     

Did you reply to that?

And yes, if she flakes on Sunday too, forget her and keep moving. 

[Gaeta]

7 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

  But to cancel a date because of a 3 year old birthday just sounded weird as hell.

No, it's not weird. The birthday of a nephew is important no matter the age.  Parents will never forget you did not make an effort to attend.

Did you make that invitation only 1 day ahead? Accept Sunday. I don't see the big deal. 

[Blind-Sided]

8 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

  But to cancel a date because of a 3 year old birthday just sounded weird as hell.

Ummmm..... she doesn't know you... the 3 yo is family to her.  So yes... the 3yo is more important than a blind date.   

I don't think I would go as far as to hang up on someone... but I would put it on the back burner if she said "Next week".  Give her the benefit of the doubt... and go have a good time. 

[Wiseman2]

36 minutes ago, Blind-Sided said:

Ummmm..... she doesn't know you... the 3 yo is family to her.  So yes... the 3yo is more important than a blind date.   

Agree. If you're interested meet for a brief coffee at a mutually convenient day, time and  area where you can get to with your own transportation.  If you're not interested just move to the next.

[introverted1]

9 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

I had a date scheduled for tomorrow and made reservations and she said she had to cancel because of her nephew birthday party?

Reservations? Is this a first meeting? 

And yes, lots of people attend relatives' birthday parties, especially when the relative is their sibling's young child.

[poppyfields]

If this were me, I'd be questioning (to myself) why the hell did she make the date in the first place, knowing her nephew was having a birthday party?

Surely, since it's family, she must have known about the party in advance?  

I typically know about family celebrations weeks or at least many days in advance. But no this girl only find out the day before? 

Not buying it, sounds like a BS excuse @IntBrowser, most likely made another date she preferred to you. 

I'd move on, I can smell BS a mile away. 

[Gaeta]

20 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

If this were me, I'd be questioning (to myself) why the hell did she make the date in the first place, knowing her nephew was having a birthday party?

I will pay devil's advocate here. It happened to me to forget I had a b'day party on a certain day or I marked  the b'day on the wrong Saturday. 

[elaine567]

16 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Surely, since it's family, she must have known about the party in advance?  

That was my first thought too but maybe she genuinely forgot or got her Saturdays nixed up, or the birthday party is a hastily organised impromptu event, or they forgot to invite her assuming she would be there and only at the last minute realised their mistake... etc.
She immediately suggested a new date, the Sunday, so needs the benefit of the doubt IMO.

[poppyfields]

4 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

I will pay devil's advocate here. It happened to me to forget I had a b'day party on a certain day or I marked  the b'day on the wrong Saturday. 

Fair enough but what I don't get is since this was a first meet, why not do both?  

Meet @IntBrowserfor coffee before the party or meet for a drink after?

Why cancel the entire meet? 

This is of course assuming she legit  forgot about the party and not just bs'ing him because she made another date she preferred. 

 

[smackie9]

Tip: be flexible. Don't make reservations for anything because people do cancel for various reasons. Have a more relaxed spontaneous way of setting up a meet, like grabbing a coffee or a walk in the park. Also have a plan A,B or C.

[introverted1]

Just now, poppyfields said:

Fair enough but what I don't get is since this was a first meet, why not do both?  

Meet @IntBrowserfor coffee before the party or meet for a drink after?

 

Because he made reservations, which assumes a less-than-casual first encounter.

And yes, I agree it's strange she forgot the party, but it's possible the time hadn't been firmly established, or her sibling asked for help setting up, etc. 

[smackie9]

plan A,B or C. and that means set a date up with someone else if possible..."so Lisa can't make it? I'll see what Jen is up to". Then you don't have to cancel those reservations.

Edited August 7, 2021 by smackie9

[poppyfields]

11 minutes ago, introverted1 said:

Because he made reservations, which assumes a less-than-casual first encounter.

And yes, I agree it's strange she forgot the party, but it's possible the time hadn't been firmly established, or her sibling asked for help setting up, etc. 

Ok that's fair, see what happens Sunday.  

I predict she will cancel again, I hope I'm wrong and Im sure Im projecting but when I've broken first dates/meets or had men break with me, nothing good ever became of it.

First impressions are so important, they set a precedent for what's to follow, imo.

But good luck @IntBrowserhope it works out.

Edited August 7, 2021 by poppyfields

[SumGuy]

12 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

If she had said............"what about next weekend?"     I would have said BYE and hung up on her lol            I had a date scheduled for tomorrow and made reservations and she said she had to cancel because of her nephew birthday party?    So she said.........."how bout sunday?     So lets see if she comes up with another excuse.      But once someone cancel I start to feel like it wont happen and feel like another excuse is coming.         So I wonder when I call tomorrow will I get the voicemail?     But to cancel a date because of a 3 year old birthday just sounded weird as hell.

Wow, ever hear the phrase "Why are you playing hard to get, when you are hard to want."    You also don't know 3 year olds well or their emotional reactions.  Sure it could be an excuse, or it could be the 3 year old or parents really wanted her there (if nothing else to help corral the kids) despite her having plans.  The kid is only 3 once.  It sounds weird as hell to me you have no empathy for the child, and are so prickly and picky for one who says they have little to no success in dating.

[Happy Lemming]

1 hour ago, poppyfields said:

Not buying it, sounds like a BS excuse @IntBrowser, most likely made another date she preferred to you. 

I'd move on, I can smell BS a mile away. 

Same here... I mean a 3 year old's birthday party is going to be during the daylight hours 2:00 - 3:00pm (at the latest).  Plenty of time to get home, shower and get ready for an evening date.

Her "plan B" guy asked her out, and she thinks he is a better date.  Saturday night is date night, not Sunday.  This woman just put you on the back burner in case "Saturday night guy" doesn't pan out.

@poppyfields hit the nail on the head.

If a woman cancels the first date on me, I won't ask her out again. (especially with this lame excuse of a 3 year old nephew birthday party)

NEXT!!

[SumGuy]

36 minutes ago, introverted1 said:

Because he made reservations, which assumes a less-than-casual first encounter.

Perhaps, also on him if he wants to make the first meet less-than-casual.  Just because you make it some big dinner reservation on your own doesn't mean she owes you...that thinking is but one step away from she should put out if she orders the lobster thermidor.     

Quote

And yes, I agree it's strange she forgot the party, but it's possible the time hadn't been firmly established, or her sibling asked for help setting up, etc. 

You'd think, but have know women where such would slip their mind, organizationally challenged on social engagements (especially if planned far in advance).  Then again, she could have planned not to go but then at the last minute was asked/pressured into going.  Also....these things sometimes change at the last minute from one day to the next, especially if outdoors and weather, anything they are getting for the party is delayed, a grandparent is delayed, COVID test results.   So, so many things.  I've planned and had dozens of birthday parties for my kids, and been to dozens upon dozens more, these things happen and the ones at age 3 are the ones where it is easiest and most common for things to shift a bit.

[SumGuy]

49 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Why cancel the entire meet? 

Maybe because the kid wants their favorite aunt to sleep over, perhaps the drive is far, all sorts of reasons.

Could as well ask why cancel the reservation?  Just ask out someone else, a friend, go enjoy it yourself...the first is spur of the moment and odd, the second requires a social circle (it is usually very easy to add people to your table as it brings in more $), and the last requires a level some comfort with oneself and confidence.   Being thin skinned and quick to pull the trigger, never saw those as associated with positive dating traits....no matter how you spin it as not wasting my time.

[poppyfields]

25 minutes ago, SumGuy said:

the last requires a level some comfort with oneself and confidence.   Being thin skinned and quick to pull the trigger, never saw those as associated with positive dating traits....no matter how you spin it as not wasting my time.

There is a huge difference between being thin-skinned and "quick to pull the trigger" and being perceptive enough to see through BS.

I have been through a lot, am extremely perceptive and intuitive and as such my BS meter is very well tuned. 

That's not to say I couldn't be wrong, I might be, but if me I'd pass.

Like I said, first impressions mean so much, they pave the way. 

If she were legit sick, that might be different but a two hour birthday party during the day? Come on, use your "noodle" as my mom used to say, lol.

IF this girl were interested, somehow, some way, she'd make the meet with @IntBrowserhappen.

But let's see what happens Sunday, if she doesn't cancel again, I will happily admit I was wrong. 

 

 

 

Edited August 7, 2021 by poppyfields

[glows]

12 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

If she had said............"what about next weekend?"     I would have said BYE and hung up on her lol            I had a date scheduled for tomorrow and made reservations and she said she had to cancel because of her nephew birthday party?    So she said.........."how bout sunday?     So lets see if she comes up with another excuse.      But once someone cancel I start to feel like it wont happen and feel like another excuse is coming.         So I wonder when I call tomorrow will I get the voicemail?     But to cancel a date because of a 3 year old birthday just sounded weird as hell.

She could be scatterbrained and that’s fine. Or an honest mistake in a busy period. The plus is that she told you in advance she couldn’t make it the day before and offered an alternative. 

This is not a big deal unless you want it to be. See her on Sunday but if she cancels or postpones again, I wouldn’t respond to any further texts or calls.

[Alpacalia]

It all boils down to whether or not you think her reason is valid.

If her pet parakeet flew out the window - and had to go look for it - that’s not such a great a reason.

Being upset or angry over it though?

Not gonna help.

[Happy Lemming]

When in doubt.. Occam's Razor.

Of course it could be this or maybe it could be that...  too many if's and could be's.

She got a better deal.

[Fox Sake]

I’ll play too.
 

The fact she even made the effort to make a second date with you is what you should be focusing on.
 

She didn’t flake out and leave the ball in your court, she gave you a perfectly reasonable explanation and re-scheduled a day later. 
 

You seem quite angry and entitled in the way your post came across. I mean that with all due respect. I hope these feelings don’t cause you to feel any resentment on your date. Don’t let your pride blind you. Chances are if you’ve made the effort to want to see her in the first place then she has a certain je ne sais quois, so go with it until you know for sure. 

Edited August 7, 2021 by Fox Sake
Why not

[elaine567]

1 hour ago, Happy Lemming said:

If a woman cancels the first date on me, I won't ask her out again. (especially with this lame excuse of a 3 year old nephew birthday party)

NEXT!!

OK but it seems you have always come from a place of plenty, you find, you escalate, you seal the deal, the same cannot be said for the OP.
He cannot really afford to be too hasty with the NEXT button.

[Happy Lemming]

5 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

OK but it seems you have always come from a place of plenty, you find, you escalate, you seal the deal, the same cannot be said for the OP.
 

It's a learned skill that any man can learn (including the OP). 

He doesn't have to put up with sub-par BS excuses.  A 3 year old nephew's birthday party... give me a break.