Savannah1990 Posted August 5, 2021 Posted August 5, 2021 (edited) hi everyone, ok so this guy started to DM me. He came on pretty strong (saying he thinks I'm attractive etc) and we chatted for about 3 days when he asked me if I'd like to grab a drink with me. I really enjoyed our contact and we planned a first date, which was supposed to be this coming monday. After that I mentioned my daughter, since I want to a playground with her and I just wanted to be sincere with him and already let him know I'm a single mom (with a good home, good job etc). It suddenly took him over a day to reply. I went away for holidays and since I was with my daughter, I really didnt used my Phone for over a week. Suddenly, this guy texted me again; how I'm doing and how my holidays are/if I'm enjoying myself. I responded to him with a polite answer and asked how his week has been. that was 2 days ago, he read my message and he has been online on social media (this is how we chatted) but he hasnt answered and also didnt mention anything about our date, which is supposed to be this Monday. Should I be more patiënt or does this sound to you like this guy is slowfading? im actually that annoyed by this that I dont even know if I want to grab a drink with him anymore. Edited August 5, 2021 by Savannah1990
Wiseman2 Posted August 5, 2021 Posted August 5, 2021 At this point you are both talking to and meeting others so there's often some flakiness surrounding that. Just lay back and see what happens. Or ask about the date such as which place what time, whatever.
Miss Spider Posted August 5, 2021 Posted August 5, 2021 (edited) Yea I wouldn’t call this a slow fade. He’s probably just talking to others. Maybe another girl he was interested came back around, then left, so he came back. It’s all so casual at this point. You’re still working out a 1st date. Gotta try to loosen the expectations Edited August 5, 2021 by Cookiesandough 2
glows Posted August 5, 2021 Posted August 5, 2021 9 minutes ago, Savannah1990 said: im actually that annoyed by this that I dont even know if I want to grab a drink with him anymore. I'm at that point where if a man doesn't make it known or isn't clear about his interests or consistent, I no longer invest any effort into communicating. I do not need it. It's very early and if you're turned off, move on to another match. 2
stillafool Posted August 5, 2021 Posted August 5, 2021 I don't think him saying you're attractive was coming on strong as it was just a compliment. I agree with others you haven't even had your 1st date yet so give him time and keep expectations low. 2
poppyfields Posted August 5, 2021 Posted August 5, 2021 (edited) 2 hours ago, glows said: I'm at that point where if a man doesn't make it known or isn't clear about his interests or consistent, I no longer invest any effort into communicating. Before the first meet? Edited August 5, 2021 by poppyfields 1
Alvi Posted August 6, 2021 Posted August 6, 2021 (edited) 5 hours ago, Savannah1990 said: After that I mentioned my daughter, since I want to a playground with her and I just wanted to be sincere with him and already let him know I'm a single mom (with a good home, good job etc). You mentioning your daughter scared him away. Not everybody is OK dating someone with a child. Oh well, you probably want to date someone who would not see your child as a problem. Be glad that he actually "weeded" himself out. Edited August 6, 2021 by Alvi
Ami1uwant Posted August 6, 2021 Posted August 6, 2021 A slow fade happens after you meet in person. He’s talking to others and dating others. 1
Gaeta Posted August 6, 2021 Posted August 6, 2021 So talk to other men until you find one that will go ahead and meet you. You can't put that much hope in a man you have not met. It's possible when he heard you were a single mom he decided to search for someone else while still keeping in touch with you. That's 'his' business, now you take care of 'your' business which is to find yourself a man, so you carry on and talk to others. There is nothing wrong with him slowing down communication if his goal was to meet a woman without children or older children. I have dropped chatting with 2 men that revealed having a 1 yo and a 2 yo at the age of 50. I did not have to explain why at 55 I am not going to date a man with a baby, I just stopped replying. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted August 6, 2021 Posted August 6, 2021 Tell me this isn't the same guy from your last thread. The one with a girlfriend?
smackie9 Posted August 6, 2021 Posted August 6, 2021 (edited) Some guys set a date and time for the first date and feel they don't have to do much after that. If you don't hear from him the day before or the day of, then he is rude. It's just a drink on a Monday. If it doesn't happen oh well it's not like your weekend plans are ruined. He did reach out to you to touch base. Plus you have to assume he is talking to and dating others. Edited August 6, 2021 by smackie9 1
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