Author Whitehart Posted September 7, 2021 Author Share Posted September 7, 2021 (edited) Usa1ah Honest? Honest? She doesnt even acknowledge there is s problem! She has to go on a residential training course. She asjef if i was okay with the idea, "as you have been acting strange the last few months”. As if she had done nothing with hidden secret contact and deception for months with s Man online! When i pointed this out she said nothing. Joke. I think she is trying to turn it round so i am the problem. Has anybody here had experience with this type of person? Edited September 7, 2021 by Whitehart Link to post Share on other sites
jolehno Posted September 9, 2021 Share Posted September 9, 2021 Yes, she is inmature, she is afraid of getting older, she basically is having midlife crisis, but that is not excuse to do what she's doing. It seems to me like she's latina or Asian culture? Am I wrong? Culture does do play a role in persons behaviors, and if she is from one of this cultures, the only way out, for her own benefit is, tough love. You put the rules and if she does not comply, divorce. Not more taking or trying to understand her games. That should snap her out of her fantasy and give you back her respect. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Whitehart Posted September 10, 2021 Author Share Posted September 10, 2021 (edited) So sad.Lonely. I pick myself up. No surrender. Go forward. Seems okay. Check her records. Yesterday contact in calls, photos sent and phone calls. Even messages guarded, “come here (holiday place) and I will find other attractions” and that thing we spoke about.” I asked straight, “Do you still have contact?” “Only time to time”. Lie, ”Do you phone each other?” “No”. Lie. Alone In a hard place. Her words of love ring hollow. Can she really have love affair only online? I’m out. Edited September 10, 2021 by Whitehart Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted September 10, 2021 Share Posted September 10, 2021 6 hours ago, Whitehart said: So sad.Lonely. I pick myself up. No surrender. Go forward. Seems okay. Check her records. Yesterday contact in calls, photos sent and phone calls. Even messages guarded, “come here (holiday place) and I will find other attractions” and that thing we spoke about.” I asked straight, “Do you still have contact?” “Only time to time”. Lie, ”Do you phone each other?” “No”. Lie. Alone In a hard place. Her words of love ring hollow. Can she really have love affair only online? I’m out. I would send her the message back to her. Better yet, just get a lawyer and divorce her already. Then date awhile and find someone that isn’t a cheater. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted September 10, 2021 Share Posted September 10, 2021 Good grief. Her actions speak quite loudly how she views you and your marriage. If You Do Not Respect Yourself, Then Who Will? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted September 11, 2021 Share Posted September 11, 2021 Hi White Hart, you have rambled on for three pages more or less repeating the same things but not doing anything proactive to get yourself out of infidelity. The longer you dilly dally the more your wife will lose respect for you. What Bryan said is spot on. If you do not respect yourself then no one else will, especially your wife. Get out of your comfort zone and do what USA1ah said and get a lawyer and start divorce proceedings. That will either get your wife to get her head out of the sand that she is burying it or, if she is really done with your marriage, give you an uncontested divorce, free you, so that you can find a new life partner and move on with your life. No point bemoaning a recalcitrant wife who does'nt respect you! Warm regards 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Whitehart Posted September 18, 2021 Author Share Posted September 18, 2021 (edited) Now separated. Feels better right away. Not easy, but better. She still clings to her stonewall stories. But that’s up to her. Shared copies of messages from him to her. She was shocked. Nor did she know I had a tracker in the car. Apparently no longer my imagination. She didn’t realize I could retrieve deleted messages in her secure platform either. For those whose advice was baying for action, slow and sure has been far more productive. Hurt but a lot wiser now. Edited September 18, 2021 by Whitehart 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 18, 2021 Share Posted September 18, 2021 25 minutes ago, Whitehart said: She still clings to her stonewall stories. You need to block her from contact so you can heal. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted September 25, 2021 Share Posted September 25, 2021 Hi Whitehart, great news albeit rather sad from your point of view. Give yourself time and space away from your wife and you will gradually heal and regain your original confidence and spirit. Decisive action HSS paid off and your wife will very soon realize she has lost the game. Warm wishes. Link to post Share on other sites
Daisydooks Posted September 28, 2021 Share Posted September 28, 2021 On 9/7/2021 at 2:02 PM, Whitehart said: Usa1ah Honest? Honest? She doesnt even acknowledge there is s problem! She has to go on a residential training course. She asjef if i was okay with the idea, "as you have been acting strange the last few months”. As if she had done nothing with hidden secret contact and deception for months with s Man online! When i pointed this out she said nothing. Joke. I think she is trying to turn it round so i am the problem. Has anybody here had experience with this type of person? Someone who gaslights you? Yes....... ugh. Run. Don't walk. Im sorry you're going through this nonsense 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Whitehart Posted October 6, 2021 Author Share Posted October 6, 2021 She wants to get back together. I told her I had seen messages from him. I turned in a notification system on her phone. When we met about bills and kids I had time to look. I told her I had seen his invites to sexy rendevousz is she blind and stupid and blind Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 6, 2021 Share Posted October 6, 2021 11 minutes ago, Whitehart said: She wants to get back together. Why are you still talking to her? Let go and heal. She's never going to change until she's too old and ugly for anyone to want her. Hopefully by then you'll be long gone married to a faithful woman. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Nothanks Posted October 7, 2021 Share Posted October 7, 2021 12 hours ago, Whitehart said: is she blind and stupid and blind I would say she is predominantly selfish and entitled. She wants to be married to you and be able to have secret relationships with other men. She feels entitled to have both. She is neither blind or stupid but is obviously hoping that you are. Limit contact and communications to kids and finances. Everything else is just hollow words designed to get what she wants (at your expense). You are on the right path. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted October 7, 2021 Share Posted October 7, 2021 You on the best course of action for you. Stop worrying about what she thinks or says, she doesn’t care about you. She just wants you home and the ability to have lovers on the side. I know this hurts, it does get better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted October 7, 2021 Share Posted October 7, 2021 She lies and then she lies about lying. She hasn't changed. She hasn't taken any steps to try to win back your trust. Do you have a lawyer? Go completely no contact and let him/her deal with your wife and ONLY deal with her in terms of picking up and/or dropping off your children. Keep moving forward. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted October 7, 2021 Share Posted October 7, 2021 Just proceed with the divorce. If she wants to talk have her contact your attorney. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted October 23, 2021 Share Posted October 23, 2021 Hi Whitehart , its been a while since you posted. At the last posting you said you were separated from your wife and that you had forwarded messages which her Affair Partner had sent her and which shred the veil of secrecy that she had so assiduously created( or so she thought) and her whole house of cards had come tumbling down. At last count, she was begging you to get back with her. I guess all the folk here hope you took the logical step of distancing your self from your toxic wife and make a fresh start in life on your own. Your wife proved to you that she was untrustworthy and had caused you immense mental and emotional hurt. She was not worth going back to. Please do let us know that you are now in a good place and happy with your life. Warm regards. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Whitehart Posted October 23, 2021 Author Share Posted October 23, 2021 Hello, Thank you for the comments. I am still separated. I keep my distance. It’s surprisingly easy, well not easy, but freer. I discovered that whilst she had a online guy, she had another a lot closer to home, quite literally. I don’t know if they did the deed, but GPS EXIF data in a photo with her in a bathroom selfie places her in a building which houses the the second guys company and a flat they own upstairs from the business. What else has gone unseen? I am a normal person and this has hurt a lot. I will never trust again and quite frankly do not even care if I have another serious relationship. 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted October 28, 2021 Share Posted October 28, 2021 Best of luck healing 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Whitehart Posted November 7, 2021 Author Share Posted November 7, 2021 Hi i am still alone. I know now I married a person with a pathological tendency. Even when the truth was biting at her, she dug in and lied some more. I had never met anyone like her before. I have only minimal contact and feel better for it. All i can say is that life is a learning process, hurtful, but we learn and carry on. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
torn_heart Posted November 8, 2021 Share Posted November 8, 2021 8 hours ago, Whitehart said: Hi i am still alone. I know now I married a person with a pathological tendency. Even when the truth was biting at her, she dug in and lied some more. I had never met anyone like her before. I have only minimal contact and feel better for it. All i can say is that life is a learning process, hurtful, but we learn and carry on. How have you channeled your emotions? what activities have you been doing? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Whitehart Posted December 9, 2021 Author Share Posted December 9, 2021 (edited) I cope by working long hours. I keep fit, eat better and block her as much as possible. She is shameless and says her special friend “is no option” as happily married. Not my problem, I’m thinking of sending the information to his wife. I have not sent it yet has she done no wrong. I have never had a partner do such a thing to me before. We sometimes have to have contact for certain matters. She still tries to make out I have exaggerated everything. Unbelievable! Copies of hotel searches near where he was staying, double meaning messages suggesting sex, contact everyday, hearing her call him, then denying she called him, I have put all before her. Nothing seems to make any difference! Still she wants me to take her back!! She has some brass neck! Edited December 9, 2021 by Whitehart 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 9, 2021 Share Posted December 9, 2021 Consult an attorney for the divorce. Your marriage was over long before this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Whitehart Posted September 21, 2022 Author Share Posted September 21, 2022 Divorced and the sense of freedom is immense. I put up with a lot, in fact more than I realized. I have virtually zero contact with her, and strangely I miss nothing from her. It appears I was in a relationship with a person who was expert at hiding her true toxic nature. Now I’m single and quite happy with that uncomplicated lifestyle. She lied to other men and got them to do her bidding. Goodbye and good riddance. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 21, 2022 Share Posted September 21, 2022 Good for you Whitehart. Did you move out of the home, sell it or is she living there with the kids? When was the divorce final? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts