Bpollitt Posted August 5, 2021 Posted August 5, 2021 So, I asked a girl out who I was pretty confident was into me, she said she really does like me but she wants a few weeks before we do anything as her life is all over the place at the moment. We do speak almost every day, the main reason I am making this post is because I am wondering if in a few weeks should I ask her out again or just wait and see what happens? I dont want to leave it too late because she may lose interest.
d0nnivain Posted August 5, 2021 Posted August 5, 2021 Give it 10 days -- 2 weeks tops & ask again. Dial back the daily contact. That is too much too soon for somebody you haven't been on a date with. If she does not agree to a date on the 2nd ask, walk away. 2 1
stillafool Posted August 5, 2021 Posted August 5, 2021 It sounds like she has to end it with someone else before she goes out with you. If that's true she's doing the right thing.
SumGuy Posted August 5, 2021 Posted August 5, 2021 Just keep in touch and ask how it is going in a way that actually cares about her life and day and not just when you can see her. Then in a couple weeks let her know you are still interested and ask her out on some day she is likely free (which you should know). In the meantime, certainly don't shut down anyone else you may be talking to but perhaps slow that down, or not. Up to you if you feel it is worth the wait.
glows Posted August 5, 2021 Posted August 5, 2021 "All over the place at the moment" is code for my life is not what it should be at this time and it's unlikely that anything will change anytime soon. I'd treat it as a red flag and step away. If you know her quite well, gauge how sure she seems of herself. Avoid flaky individuals.
smackie9 Posted August 6, 2021 Posted August 6, 2021 (edited) Sounds like you are friends zoned. She's trying to sort out what she's gonna do about you now that you showed romantic interest. If they don't jump at you right away, they weren't THAT into you. Chatting everyday is the kiss of death. Edited August 6, 2021 by smackie9 2
ChatroomHero Posted August 6, 2021 Posted August 6, 2021 If she's into you, she's not going to set you free for a while and take a chance on losing you. Swap positions, you wouldn't push her off and hope some other guy doesn't take her. You'll find a way to make it happen because you would rather go out with her than do anything else. She gave you a general push off without her having to reject you for an indefinite period of time during which she won't be confronted with rejecting you again. If you ask again, all she has to say is she's still too busy. It's an easy out and easy future out for her. Talking all the time with no date is a red flag.bshe likes the attention and a guy to talk to that she doesn't need to put any more effort into. If she has time to talk every day, she has a couple of hours for drinks. Otherwise she could quit chatting and talking with you and get done what she needs and make time for you. Pay attention when you talk to her next time about the things she mentions she does have time for. I bet the fun things she mentions, going to a movie, the bar, etc. are all prefaced by the excuse the invitation came out of nowhere and she said screw it, I'm going out even though I really didn't have time. My experience is I ask myself if we are friends more than just we meet fairly briefly or chat at work. If the answer is yes and I ask her out, anything but yes is no. You both have an investment, you both know and feel comfortable, the next natural progression is a date if you are both interested. At the very least her answer would be yes, I'd love too but can we set a day a couple of weeks out? And then she would set a date. Id probably stop communicating with her every day and stop being her girlfriend because that's not what you want but that's what she offered you pretty clearly. 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted August 7, 2021 Posted August 7, 2021 Honestly I'd say "I totally get it! Hey, let's connect then" and then drop the communication. If in 6 weeks (or whatever) she legitimately wants to go out with you, she knows where to find you. If you're not available.by then, oh well...these things happen.
Author Bpollitt Posted August 7, 2021 Author Posted August 7, 2021 Update: We are dating now she just had some family stuff she wanted to sort out before she started a relationship 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted August 7, 2021 Posted August 7, 2021 5 minutes ago, Bpollitt said: Update: We are dating now she just had some family stuff she wanted to sort out before she started a relationship Wow, good for you. Glad it's working out. 1 1
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