Question for Men: What do women unintentionally do or say that you find off-putting?

[SumGuy]

4 hours ago, Blind-Sided said:

... I said... "I'm sorry, but I wasn't sure if you understood the subject." 

Dude that comment is the very definition of man-splaining.   It really is one that insults someone's intelligence period, it talks down to them.   As a man I'd take offense to that as well.  It is not like it is new or hyper feminist that people take offense at such, women just get it so much I guess they coined a word for it...frankly I suspect to help them deal with it with a bit of humor.

Even if someone clearly does not understand, that is not how you phrase it, also it is also often code from someone who doesn't like that you fail to accept their feelings as facts (the kind of comment of someone who really thinks they know more about a subject than they really do), just bad mojo all around.  In the board room it is throwing a gauntlet on the table, unless it is someone below you in the hierarchy and then it is a way to take them down a few pegs.  Again bad mojo.

[Alvi]

17 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

I'm never much bothered by it either way, let them "mansplain" to their heart's content, I don't take it personally or offensively. 

And some women do take offence. It bothers me to some extend. Let's say I don't know something about a particular subject, it doesn't mean that I am totally stupid or not intelligent in total. I may know more about some other areas, so I really don't appreciate when a guy tried to talk down to me in a condescending manner, or treats me like a child, or makes it a mission to "educate" me on something just because I am not aware of that one thing. Especially if I didn't ask him for any explanation. It could be very embarrassing if he chooses to do so in front of other people. That is not a very respectful behaviour.  I guess it would depend on how the guy delivers the "mainsplaining." On his tone of voice, his gestures, purpose, etc...I am guessing here, but I would say that that one particular woman was trying to just stand up for herself and tell a guy that his behavior not acceptable for her. In this particular case, a guy called woman out in front of other people. He assumed that he knew nothing regarding some subject and made it his mission to enlighten her in front of everybody. He could've done differently but hey, he probably didn't care that much for her to begin with. But hey, here she is crucified and called names on this forum. She is a bad guy here for speaking up her mind. 

[cleverusername]

Being passive... men want to feel wanted too. 

[Prudence V]

16 hours ago, SumGuy said:

Ohhing and awing over materialistic things to the level of adulation not just appreciation (which includes "experiences")...phrases like "There is nothing wrong with liking nice things." always pricks up my ears...too often it is defensive code for privilege.   

On a not entirely unrelated note - if I comment appreciatively about something, buying it for me. I cannot stand guys that do that. It assumes that 1) I was hinting for him to by it for me - as if I needed to be indirect and manipulative to get my way; and 2) that I need some guy to buy me stuff, because I can’t buy stuff for myself. It also assumes a basically  acquisitive orientation, like if you see a pretty flower you have to pick it, rather than just admiring it’s beauty. 

[Prudence V]

14 hours ago, Alvi said:

And some women do take offence.

I’m one. If I want to know more, I’ll ask. Though I’m more likely to ask for your credentials first - how qualified are you, actually, to explain this to me (or anyone else)? If you have a PhD and several peer-reviewed articles in the field, I’m all ears, but if you’re just a layperson with an opinion, I’d rather hit up Dr Google (or SciHub) to find out what I want to know. 

[Miss Spider]

7 minutes ago, Prudence V said:

On a not entirely unrelated note - if I comment appreciatively about something, buying it for me. I cannot stand guys that do that. It assumes that 1) I was hinting for him to by it for me - as if I needed to be indirect and manipulative to get my way; and 2) that I need some guy to buy me stuff, because I can’t buy stuff for myself. It also assumes a basically  acquisitive orientation, like if you see a pretty flower you have to pick it, rather than just admiring it’s beauty. 

Oh my gosh so much this. I wish we could like things multiple times. 
 

 Or if you insist a lot to pay for something, not letting you. That’s disrespectful IMO 

Edited August 5, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[Alpacalia]

17 hours ago, mark clemson said:

For myself I find it off-putting when women complain about something in a "grating" tone of voice. I usually have no issue with the actual opinion itself (everyone's entitled to their view) but I find the tone of voice (sometimes) used to be irritating.

That's a good one.

Another one I find irritating are conversation hoggers.

I feel like saying, "do you ever get tired or hearing yourself talk?"

[Wiseman2]

You mentioned unintentionally annoying stuff, right? 

Ok trying to change my eating habits by talking about all sorts of trendy diets, super foods, etc.

No. I don't want to be convinced that I will ever enjoy a kale smoothie or hamburger made out of tofu.

 

 

[Stret]

When men drop me a message" whatts' up?" "hi, how are you" and expect me to develop a conversation. Short meaningless messages really bore me to death and I really don't ever answer. It's like they are bored with their life and want me to entertain them and create a topic for them. 

They should say something about themselves in addition, ask me some specific questions... "hi, how are you? I'm just sitting at home thinking to do some grilling. You wanna come over or should we meet tomorrow as planned" - this message would have been a whole different story.