sordidpast Posted October 18, 2005 Posted October 18, 2005 I have been married most of my life and am finally going to be free. But I'm quite scared. I have never really dated. Got pregnant and married the first guy (but not the last hehe) I had "intimate relations" with. Anyway, I have a few pretty up front, personal and embarrassing questions about men and dating... First: Are you looking for women in their 40's that are "hard bodies"? Is "jiggley" more or less common? Accepted? Second: Do or don't you like a woman to approach you if she is attracted to you? And if a woman does approach you and you aren't interested do you brush her off nicely and then laugh with your buddies after she leaves? Or do you take it as a compliment? Third: Is it important to know all about a person's past once you have made a romantic connection with someone and are going to pursue a relationship with her? Such as embarrassing financial or legal issues? I know this is kind of stupid so please be gentle with me. But it would be nice to know what to expect out in the dating world these days.
slubberdegullion Posted October 19, 2005 Posted October 19, 2005 First: Are you looking for women in their 40's that are "hard bodies"? Is "jiggley" more or less common? Accepted?Hard bodied babes are great to look at and (usually) pretty dynamic between the sheets. But experience tells me that sometimes these babes can be a bit shallow. Not always, of course, but finding a smart hard bodied woman who's interested in things other than her hair or shape can be a bit of a challenge. So I guess it all depends on the woman. For me, personally, I'm not into the BBW scene (Big Beautiful Women, or Bring Burgers With). Second: Do or don't you like a woman to approach you if she is attracted to you? And if a woman does approach you and you aren't interested do you brush her off nicely and then laugh with your buddies after she leaves? Or do you take it as a compliment?I will always be pleasant to a woman who has worked up the courage to say hello, even if I'm not attracted to her. I consider it a compliment. And I never laugh behind someone's back. Third: Is it important to know all about a person's past once you have made a romantic connection with someone and are going to pursue a relationship with her? Such as embarrassing financial or legal issues?Yes, it is important, especially if there's going to be the potential of some merging of finances later on. There have been too many horror stories of finding out some damaging financial information after the wedding is over. I know this is kind of stupid so please be gentle with me. But it would be nice to know what to expect out in the dating world these days.No, they're not stupid questions at all, not in the least.
Neptune Posted October 19, 2005 Posted October 19, 2005 Know that the dating world is brutal.....it`s a jungle out there. That`s why people get married. If they were having a ball, they would keep it up right? Well, society puts demands on people and makes them feel they gotta do certain things. Like get married. So go forth and enjoy the single life and don`t take no BS off nobody. Just wait and see what I`m talking about. Get used to it, you ain`t 21 any more and neither am I. The bottom line is enjoy life to it`s fullest with or without a partner.
Gold Pile Posted October 19, 2005 Posted October 19, 2005 1st. Hardbody girl or softer woman...both work for me. I've had to assure potential women that I've been around long enough to have a good idea of what they look like unber their clothes and w/out bra. 2nd: being approached is nice. Myself I like for a woman to attempt to connect with me over a period of time...gradually (days-weeks) making it clear she really likes me. During this time I'll make hints as to if I like her or don't want her attentions. If she takes this ladylike approach and I am a gentleman...I wouldn't joke to buddies. 3rd. Yes! I want to know if trouble (legal-financial) is looming. It tells me something of her character and lets me know what I'm getting into. If you are halfway attractive and let it be known that you're not attached, you'll find men sniffing around.
alphamale Posted October 19, 2005 Posted October 19, 2005 First: Are you looking for women in their 40's that are "hard bodies"? Is "jiggley" more or less common? Accepted? Hard bodied women in their 40's?? Surely you jest....there are few women who are 45 yrs old who can compete with a 25 yr old female's body. Few men will expect a "hard body" from a women in her 40s but she should still be in shape. If she is more than 20 or 30 lbs overweight she's gonna have a hard time finding men. Second: Do or don't you like a woman to approach you if she is attracted to you? And if a woman does approach you and you aren't interested do you brush her off nicely and then laugh with your buddies after she leaves? Or do you take it as a compliment? It depends, if I like here then its ok and I think positively of it. If she is fat and ugly then I don't like it. And just for the record it is usualyy the fat and ugly ones who are more aggressive this way cause men don't come up to them. A more attractive female can go anywhere and have men approach them. I would almost always take this as a compliment even if I have no interest in the woman. Third: Is it important to know all about a person's past once you have made a romantic connection with someone and are going to pursue a relationship with her? Such as embarrassing financial or legal issues? It depends on the relationship....the more serious it gets on both sides the more i'd wanna know. But for a one-nighter or a casual 2-month fling, no, i don't need to know any of that krap.
JS17 Posted October 19, 2005 Posted October 19, 2005 Sordidpast, you're new here. Please take the advice that you receive with a grain of salt and be careful who you take advice from. Much luck in your ventures.
933KJL Posted October 19, 2005 Posted October 19, 2005 I think Alpha is on the money here. Single 43 yr old DWM here. Hey I am not the hardbody of my youth so why expect you to be. Actually I find that women in their 40s are a LOT more fun between the sheets. So jiggly is fine, but again, if it is to the extreme--like keeps jiggling twenty minutes after...I need to rethink Sure come on to me and I promise not to laugh if not interested. Male egos need stroking as well as other things. A word of caution though, approach your peers--don't go up to that 23 yr old hunk--he WILL laugh at you behind your back. Finances and stuff...eventually sure, but now no way. There are ways to work around it in a merger, but when it comes to that, yes be honest. Also, if you have kids, that should be disclosed up front and early.
Author sordidpast Posted October 19, 2005 Author Posted October 19, 2005 Wow! Thank all of you guys for your input. It's very helpful to have some idea what to expect out there in the dating world. And even more so to have some knowledge of what's expected as well. I have been out with friends and do get approached often enough to be flattered and hopeful. I'm not looking for a relationship right away and know I may never have an exclusive love ever again. I'm okay with that at this point. We'll see how I feel in a year or two. Anyway, I ejoyed the replies and wish those of you that are with me in the jungle the best of luck!
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