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What should I do in this situation?


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I'm male, single, 27 years. I have a chronic disease, currently unemployed and instable financially. Sometimes, I get money from parents like a child haha. I can't afford (and I don't want) to get married. I don't care about all of that and I live happily.

I met a girl online from another country. I told her that I love her. As a human I needed some romance.

Today she said that she thinks she is ugly because boys treat her as a toy for days and then leave. In addition to bullying from others.

I feel so guilty because she may be thinking that I'm rich enough to travel for getting married. Which is not true.

Now, suddenly I became one of those bad boys who leave her after some time!!

I don't want to break up with her because she already thinks she is ugly. I feel like I'm giving her self confidence by telling her she is beautiful... etc. I don't want to break her heart that is already broken. But If I continued in this online relationship, I'll feel guilty because I won't marry her. I'm not serious about it.

 

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You don't have to break up with her.  But you do have to come clean about your living situation, illness, financial situation and not wanting to marry.  

She can then make the decision as to whether or not she wants to continue dating her.

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You seem very naive and vulnerable. I suggest staying away from international romance and stick to meeting local women. Her self-image issues have you twisted in a knot and her problems with the way she sees herself and her insecurities are something she has to work out on her own. They are not your problem. 

Start meeting women in person. Not all relationships involve marriage.

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She told me she's got a new bf. I'm glad that her problems are solved but at the same time I feel sad because I can no longer flirt with her.

Should I chat with her as a friend to fill part of the hole? Or should I completely ignore her to forget her?

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11 minutes ago, mikebenk said:

She told me she's got a new bf. I'm glad that her problems are solved but at the same time I feel sad because I can no longer flirt with her.

Should I chat with her as a friend to fill part of the hole? Or should I completely ignore her to forget her?

No, fill your holes independently. When you feel better about yourself you won't be looking for love like this. I saw your other thread. Is there an option to move or relocate?

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No, you should just let her move on and do the same.  Her insecurity issues are ones that only she can fix and unfortunately you even as a friend as well as this new boyfriend cannot resolve them.  

As for you, definitely get acquainted with local girls and just be honest about what you want in a relationship such as nothing serious and nothing leading to marriage.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Being nice to a girl online does not mean you have to marry her!  It would be wise, however, to let her know the true situation, that you are online for company and someone to share with but are not in a position to meet and marry.  If she chooses to continue chatting with you, then you will both have someone to talk to.

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