JBR Posted August 1, 2021 Posted August 1, 2021 My boyfriend moved in to my apartment 9 months ago. He said he was going to find a job. I said he didn't have to financially contribute only if he was going to save for a car. He emmediately started blowing money. 2 months later I asked about car, conversation went horribly. I said he was going to have to start financially contributing. No money came in (he is on EI). He buys me smokes and some take-out. He put alot of money into video games and dentist. 4 months later I ask about job - he had an attitude and said he will work when he's ready. He used watching my kids as an excuse and covid. He knows he could have worked if he wanted to even though he was watching my kids (school shut down). He played video games all day while they were on their tablets. At this point he said he'd start financially contributing after dentist work done. At this point still no money and prolonged dentist work for along time. He cooks and plays video games. He's done some good things for my kids. Due to some childish behaviour and all of this I mentioned he is at his moms while I need space. I need peoples opinions. I also need peoples opinions on me telling him to stay at his moms house for a while so we can work on relationship and maybe he can move back at a later date.
d0nnivain Posted August 1, 2021 Posted August 1, 2021 I see no problem with an ultimatum. Get a job & pony up money by the end of next week or get out. 1
glows Posted August 1, 2021 Posted August 1, 2021 He already knows you’re a pushover and has accepted him once not contributing to your living expenses or help with the bills, has trouble finding a place and car of his own, so what’s stopping him from trying it again with you or expecting you to give in? He’s only biding his time at his mother’s place until you cool off and miss him again. The cycle repeats itself because this is your Achilles heel. You feel sorry for him and are used to being the provider. Maybe it’s time to break out of that pattern and try something new. Permanently. 1
ShyViolet Posted August 1, 2021 Posted August 1, 2021 I'm curious, how long had you been with him at the time he moved in?
ShyViolet Posted August 1, 2021 Posted August 1, 2021 I'm sure that there were signs before he moved in that he was irresponsible or didn't have his life together. It was a mistake for you to let him move in, in the first place. Now you need to correct that mistake and not let him stay with you anymore. This is a mess.
Wiseman2 Posted August 1, 2021 Posted August 1, 2021 (edited) 51 minutes ago, JBR said: he is at his moms while I need space. Excellent. Where did he live before he moved in? 6 mos. is way too soon for someone to move in. He's mooching and not a good choice for child care. Do not let him move back in . Edited August 1, 2021 by Wiseman2
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