Anyone here try Bumble?

[Tigerstripe40]

On 8/6/2021 at 6:37 AM, Syd8 said:

Thanks for all the responses. I honestly don't know what path I'm going to take. Who the hell knows how you even meet people anymore with all that has gone on in the last few years. Some female co workers told me to try and just message women on Facebook that I find interesting. I tried that one time and the women never even responded. Like I said, I'm more attracted to older women. I'm 46 and would probably set an age limit at 59. I know I've become more attracted lately to the gray hair look with women. I'm just lonely. It's been over 2 years since my girlfriend passed away and I'm wanting companionship and intimacy again. 

I've actually had pretty good luck with messaging female Facebook friends about going on dates. One and done isn't going to cut it. You'll need to send 20-30 messages. 

[Maldives]

On 8/1/2021 at 11:14 PM, Syd8 said:

I'm a 46 year old man who doesn't like dating sites. But I heard of this app called Bumble. I believe the premise is that men sign up for it but you're unable to message women and they have to make the initial contact. Is this correct? Have any men here tried it? 

My experience it was s*** 

[Alvi]

OK, so I signed on Bumble a week ago. What can I say? Guys seem to be uninterested, passive. Some are waiting for "the greeter grass on the other side" to contact them. They expect you to do all the work. Most convos go absolutely nowhere. Some act like they did you a big favor such as choosing to write you back. Guessing women contacting men first giving some men a ginormous sense of self-importance.  Most convos don't get past hello. Guys are probably sitting back and waiting for a better deal to contact them. Oh, an also being bombarded by sex request although most guys say that they want a serious relationship. And even sex requests are very lazy: "Wanna come to my house?" No effort whatsoever from guys on this site. I am just talking about my personal experience. Not a good site, can't really recommend it.

[Miss Spider]

39 minutes ago, Alvi said:

OK, so I signed on Bumble a week ago. What can I say? Guys seem to be uninterested, passive. Some are waiting for "the greeter grass on the other side" to contact them. They expect you to do all the work. Most convos go absolutely nowhere. Some act like they did you a big favor such as choosing to write you back. Guessing women contacting men first giving some men a ginormous sense of self-importance.  Most convos don't get past hello. Guys are probably sitting back and waiting for a better deal to contact them. Oh, an also being bombarded by sex request although most guys say that they want a serious relationship. And even sex requests are very lazy: "Wanna come to my house?" No effort whatsoever from guys on this site. I am just talking about my personal experience. Not a good site, can't really recommend it.

Which dating apps do you like ? 

[Trail Blazer]

On 8/1/2021 at 10:44 PM, Syd8 said:

I'm a 46 year old man who doesn't like dating sites. But I heard of this app called Bumble. I believe the premise is that men sign up for it but you're unable to message women and they have to make the initial contact. Is this correct? Have any men here tried it? 

Bumble was my most successful app for getting dates.  I found it to be fantastic.  There were so many attractive, high-quality women on there, many of whom I matched with. 

I met my girlfriend of almost two years on Bumble.  A beautiful, intelligent woman who has recently moved in with me.  I could have just been lucky, though, I guess...

[Trail Blazer]

3 hours ago, Alvi said:

OK, so I signed on Bumble a week ago. What can I say? Guys seem to be uninterested, passive. Some are waiting for "the greeter grass on the other side" to contact them. They expect you to do all the work. Most convos go absolutely nowhere. Some act like they did you a big favor such as choosing to write you back. Guessing women contacting men first giving some men a ginormous sense of self-importance.  Most convos don't get past hello. Guys are probably sitting back and waiting for a better deal to contact them. Oh, an also being bombarded by sex request although most guys say that they want a serious relationship. And even sex requests are very lazy: "Wanna come to my house?" No effort whatsoever from guys on this site. I am just talking about my personal experience. Not a good site, can't really recommend it.

What is your criteria for swiping right?  It sounds like you're only swiping on the most attractive men who receive a mountain of matches.

 

[Starrs]

On 8/4/2021 at 12:13 AM, Syd8 said:

I might give Bumble a try. has anyone here tried the Dating feature that Facebook has? I'm curious how it works and if it's successful. 

i tried it and i like it 

[Alvi]

3 hours ago, Trail Blazer said:

What is your criteria for swiping right?  It sounds like you're only swiping on the most attractive men who receive a mountain of matches.

No, not really. I sure don't want to date someone I would not find physically attractive but I don't usually go for the most gorgeous guys on the dating sites. But even very average or below average guys, who don't even have good jobs, have a big chip on their shoulders. It seems like they enjoy the attention from women on the Bumble.  I don't see that kind of attitude from the guys on other dating site, let's say on POF. It's because they really don't have to do anything on the Bumble and women  are going to fight for their attention.

Just one example:

An overweight middle aged truck driver messaged me on POF. He was trying hard to get my attention and was begging to take me out. We matched on the Bumble few month later. He apparently didn't remember us talking on the POF. His first question was: "What do you bring to the table? How valuable would you be to me?" What an attitude shift, lol.  That just shows that while on POF he has not that many options, on the Bumble is a King, who receives tons of messages and can pick and choose. 

3 hours ago, Trail Blazer said:

Bumble was my most successful app for getting dates.  I found it to be fantastic.  There were so many attractive, high-quality women on there, many of whom I matched with. 

I met my girlfriend of almost two years on Bumble.  A beautiful, intelligent woman who has recently moved in with me.  I could have just been lucky, though, I guess...

Good for you! But like I was saying, Bumble is bad for women but excellent for men. Men have tons of options to pick and choose from. 

[Alvi]

6 hours ago, Cookiesandough said:

Which dating apps do you like ? 

Honestly? None. I have zero success on the dating sites for some reason. Guys tell me that I am great, beautiful, wonderful and yet nothing comes from it. But then again,  guys don't approach me in real life either. I was getting tons of attention in my younger days, but after I turned 40, that is it. Want a word of advice? Find someone to marry till you are 40, after that it all goes down for a woman. I know, there are plenty of success stories even after 40 (Gaeta is one of the success stories), but for me this is it.

[Trail Blazer]

5 minutes ago, Alvi said:

No, not really. I sure don't want to date someone I would not find physically attractive but I don't usually go for the most gorgeous guys on the dating sites. But even very average or below average guys, who don't even have good jobs, have a big chip on their shoulders. It seems like they enjoy the attention from women on the Bumble.  I don't see that kind of attitude from the guys on other dating site, let's say on POF. It's because they really don't have to do anything on the Bumble and women  are going to fight for their attention.

Just one example:

An overweight middle aged truck driver messaged me on POF. He was trying hard to get my attention and was begging to take me out. We matched on the Bumble few month later. He apparently didn't remember us talking on the POF. His first question was: "What do you bring to the table? How valuable would you be to me?" What an attitude shift, lol.  That just shows that while on POF he has not that many options, on the Bumble is a King, who receives tons of messages and can pick and choose. 

Good for you! But like I was saying, Bumble is bad for women but excellent for men. Men have tons of options to pick and choose from. 

I disagree with your assessment of how Bumble is advantageous for guys much more than girls.  I found a quality woman on Bumble because there were more quality women on Bumble - not because of how the app is structured.

i still received plenty of matches on other apps.  Tinder, many more, by sheer volume of participants.  PoF, too, except especially for the latter, it was a lot of hook-ups.

If Bumble really was so much more advantages for men, then you'd have the anecdotal evidence flowing in to suggest as much.  Alas, we don't - and as most guys will attest, Bumble is unlikely to yield significantly better results than the other apps out there.

[Alvi]

6 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

f Bumble really was so much more advantages for men, then you'd have the anecdotal evidence flowing in to suggest as much.  Alas, we don't - and as most guys will attest, Bumble is unlikely to yield significantly better results than the other apps out there.

I was talking about my personal experiences with this site.  I am not speaking for the entire Earth population here, all I have to go with is my own personal experience. I am happy that it works better for some people. Maybe I am just one one small fraction of the fail stories on the Bumble. 

[MrMeSeeks]

8 hours ago, Alvi said:

OK, so I signed on Bumble a week ago. What can I say? Guys seem to be uninterested, passive. Some are waiting for "the greeter grass on the other side" to contact them. They expect you to do all the work. Most convos go absolutely nowhere. Some act like they did you a big favor such as choosing to write you back. Guessing women contacting men first giving some men a ginormous sense of self-importance.  Most convos don't get past hello. Guys are probably sitting back and waiting for a better deal to contact them. Oh, an also being bombarded by sex request although most guys say that they want a serious relationship. And even sex requests are very lazy: "Wanna come to my house?" No effort whatsoever from guys on this site. I am just talking about my personal experience. Not a good site, can't really recommend it.

Welcome to most men's experience on dating apps. I've sent about 400 messages over various apps, got responses on about 10 and 1 date. Bumble was better and I got an occasional match but a lot of times the woman never messaged so I have no idea why they swiped on me in the first place. I switched to Bumble because I was tired of putting effort into messages and getting no response. 

[Trail Blazer]

1 hour ago, Alvi said:

I was talking about my personal experiences with this site.  I am not speaking for the entire Earth population here, all I have to go with is my own personal experience. I am happy that it works better for some people. Maybe I am just one one small fraction of the fail stories on the Bumble. 

I never disagreed with your personal experiences.  They're what you experienced and of course I have no reason to dispute that.

However, you made a number of assertions here;

1 hour ago, Alvi said:

It seems like they enjoy the attention from women on the Bumble.  I don't see that kind of attitude from the guys on other dating site, let's say on POF. It's because they really don't have to do anything on the Bumble and women  are going to fight for their attention.

<snip>

That just shows that while on POF he has not that many options, on the Bumble is a King, who receives tons of messages and can pick and choose. 

<snip>

Good for you! But like I was saying, Bumble is bad for women but excellent for men. Men have tons of options to pick and choose from. 

I do not agree with you about Bumble giving men an inherent advantage.  That is an assertion you have made based on personal experiences, but not an actual personal experience.  

You will find that such notions do not align with the general consensus.  Men do not find that they are some sought after rare commodity on Bumble, compared to every other dating app.

Trust me, if Bumble was some haven where men got all the attention, I guarantee you word would be out and men would flock there in droves.  They reality is, men on dating apps are already on Bumble.

 

[poppyfields]

3 hours ago, Alvi said:

...but after I turned 40, that is it. Want a word of advice? Find someone to marry till you are 40, after that it all goes down for a woman. I know, there are plenty of success stories even after 40 (Gaeta is one of the success stories), but for me this is it.

@AlviI'm not being snarky, I promise but what was different once you turned 40 than when you were 39?

You woke up on your 40th birthday and suddenly your looks and personality  went to shyt and you stopped getting dates? 

Or was it when you told men you were 40 and they recoiled? 

Why do you think 55 year old Gaeta was/is so successful but you're not? 

What could it be?

Age is just a number and will go to my grave believing that!

Edited August 11, 2021 by poppyfields

[Miss Spider]

Off topic nvm

Edited August 11, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[JRabbit]

On 8/4/2021 at 12:08 PM, Alvi said:

Oh, Ok, so that means that I am the only one who doesn't have any luck with the Hinge, lol. 

I also find Hinge terrible, I hate the entire premise of only putting little sayings out there. Nothing but garbage on my app. Went back to Tinder to see and I got a date with a very interesting man tonight 

[Miss Spider]

1 hour ago, JRabbit said:

I also find Hinge terrible, I hate the entire premise of only putting little sayings out there. Nothing but garbage on my app. Went back to Tinder to see and I got a date with a very interesting man tonight 

What do you mean putting little sayings out there? You like Tinder better than bumble too? Oh and congrats and have fun on your date!! 

[JRabbit]

1 hour ago, Cookiesandough said:

What do you mean putting little sayings out there? You like Tinder better than bumble too? Oh and congrats and have fun on your date!! 

Not bumble but Hinge....only lets you put little answers to their prompts, but it doesn't give you a good idea of what the person is actually like.

Thank you...haven't been this excited in a long time :D

[Miss Spider]

1 minute ago, JRabbit said:

Not bumble but Hinge....only lets you put little answers to their prompts, but it doesn't give you a good idea of what the person is actually like.

Thank you...haven't been this excited in a long time :D

Ohhh okay thanks. That is a strange concept 
 

That’s Awesome!! 

[Syd8]

Thanks again for all the responses and input. I still haven't decided what I'm going to do. I most likely will try Bumble, just don't know if and when. I'm very self conscious of putting myself out there, especially showing pics of myself. I'm just very lonely right now and some female companionship would be nice. 

[ZA Dater]

On 8/8/2021 at 6:03 PM, Tigerstripe40 said:

I have tried Tinder, OK Stupid, Hinge, Plenty Of Fish, and Bumble. And I paid for them. 

All of the dating apps are garbage. 

Every. Single. One. 

I've found much better luck going to Meetups for stuff I am interested in. Not necessarily to look for dates, but meeting people with similar interests and then things happen more organically. 

 

 

Agree. I have been on many of them and the truth of the matter is they work for people who are blessed with great looks and exciting lives, the latter is less important seemingly but I have never had much luck on them and probably 99% of matches were unsuitable.

Having said that, try it, you may have a good experience.

[Weezy1973]

On 8/10/2021 at 9:05 PM, poppyfields said:

 

Or was it when you told men you were 40 and they recoiled? 

Why do you think 55 year old Gaeta was/is so successful but you're not? 

What could it be?

 

Women’s options go way down from about their mid 30s until approximately their mid to late 40s. And then they go back up again.

The reason: All the men who want or are considering having kids no longer see those women as viable options. That drops their options only to men who for sure don’t want kids or men that only want something casual. That’s a significant drop in options. 

[Weezy1973]

24 minutes ago, ZA Dater said:

Agree. I have been on many of them and the truth of the matter is they work for people who are blessed with great looks and exciting lives, the latter is less important seemingly but I have never had much luck on them and probably 99% of matches were unsuitable.

Having said that, try it, you may have a good experience.

Although both you and @Alvi don’t seem to have any luck in real life either…so probably nothing to do with the apps…

[Miss Spider]

 

It’s weird that you would randomly see less options online at age 40 but that might be most men’s search parameter settings when they want a family because somewhere in the early 40s is when it gets significantly harder in general  to conceive  naturally.  IThat is the only explanation I can think of for a random hard drop off at 40

 

 

Edited August 15, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[Shining One]

8 hours ago, Cookiesandough said:

It’s weird that you would randomly see less options online at age 40 but that might be most men’s search parameter settings when they want a family because somewhere in the early 40s is when it gets significantly harder in general  to conceive  naturally.  IThat is the only explanation I can think of for a random hard drop off at 40

If Match still has Reverse Search and it works like it used to when I last used it, it's easy enough to test. Create a profile and set your age to 40, then do a reverse search. Notate the number of potential matches. Set your age to 39 and do the same search. Compare the results. I did something similar years ago to determine what attributes were in demand with women in my area.