What is the proper thing to do when attending my daughter's wedding with a partner?

[propermanners111]

I've been widowed for 10 years and am having a formal wedding for my daughter in 5 weeks. I had been seeing someone for about 5 months and he even met the family. He was supposed to escort me to the wedding which is out of town.  He dumped me last week (right before my birthday, what a jerk). Anyway, I'm starting to see other guys who I've known in the past but not in a partner capacity (i.e., they were married when I knew them and now they are divorced).  Is it in bad taste to bring another man to the wedding if I'm still seeing 1 of them in a month? Given I'm a widow, I know I'll feel down if I'm not dancing with a partner at my own daughter's wedding but don't want to bring "any random guy".  

[stillafool]

I remember your other thread.  The way that man has treated you there is no way I would bring him to the wedding.  No one is going to know the other man is a random partner as they don't even know that the other guy was a partner.  Besides the way the other guy treats you he may go missing in action and not go anyway.  I would definitely take another partner.

[FMW]

It's  up to you whether you want to bring a date or not.  As @stillafool noted, other guests won't  know if he's just a random guy or not.

I don't think it would be in bad taste, but I don't think I would want to share an important day like that with someone I didn't  have special feelings for.  But that's  just me.

[propermanners111]

It would have to be someone I really cared for but not someone I've had much history with in terms of dating.  One of the men I've known for 7 years when he was with his ex wife.

[Donnas]

Its your daughters wedding. Something personal.

Why you wanna bring a man you barely know around. She even want you to bring a dude?Did you ask her?

Dont bring no stranger around so they end up bringing drama and messing up  your kids wedding.

[Donnas]

If you are allowed to bring someone and really want to, why not bring a good friend that your daughter also know.

 

[Donnas]

Just now, Donnas said:

If you are allowed to bring someone and really want to, why not bring a good female friend that your daughter also know.

 

 

[Miss Spider]

In my opinion there’s nothing wrong with whoever you choose to bring as your wedding date. Congrats to your daughter!!!

[ShyViolet]

I think it's a bad idea and inappropriate to bring someone to such an important event who you have only been seeing a few weeks.  This is not just some random event, it's your daughter's wedding, it's a big deal.  Can't you focus on your family for that one day?  There will be plenty of time to date guys.

[basil67]

There's no technical reason that you shouldn't bring a random guy, but I do think it's in bad taste.  

That said, it's your daughter's opinion which really matters, so what does she say?    And if she says that she prefers you didn't, I think it's a reasonable answer. 

[glows]

15 hours ago, propermanners111 said:

I've been widowed for 10 years and am having a formal wedding for my daughter in 5 weeks. I had been seeing someone for about 5 months and he even met the family. He was supposed to escort me to the wedding which is out of town.  He dumped me last week (right before my birthday, what a jerk). Anyway, I'm starting to see other guys who I've known in the past but not in a partner capacity (i.e., they were married when I knew them and now they are divorced).  Is it in bad taste to bring another man to the wedding if I'm still seeing 1 of them in a month? Given I'm a widow, I know I'll feel down if I'm not dancing with a partner at my own daughter's wedding but don't want to bring "any random guy".  

I think it’s best to give yourself more time. Think this over in the next week or two and see where you’re at. 

The break up was just last week so the immediate response is usually to repair or replace what is lost and it’s part and parcel of pain, recovery and healing after a break up. If you don’t give in  to it, you have the opportunity to grow stronger and be a little more confident not needing someone for something like this.  You can dance with whomever is on the dance floor and be you, having fun without needing a partner. Should you choose to either way, there’s nothing wrong with that. 

I’d be curious what you’d choose so let us know how things go. 

 

[d0nnivain]

Bring anybody you want but don't force that person into family photos.  Ask your daughter if she minds if he walks you into the ceremony & reception or if she prefers the random date sits in his place by you & you walk in alone.  Don't despair having to do that.  Think of your late husband as smiling down on you & the image you will present as a strong, resilient, independent woman.   

[Pumpernickel]

10 hours ago, ShyViolet said:

This is not just some random event, it's your daughter's wedding, it's a big deal.

Also, as the mom, you probably have some kind of an official role, no? Like greeting the guests, making sure everybody is comfortable, making sure everything runs smoothly. You’re not just a random guest. And all eyes will be on you as the bride’s mother as well, I suppose.  So if I put myself in your shoes, I wouldn’t bring a random “date” or a male friend or anything like that. I would be too worried that this wouldn’t be proper etiquette. 

[hhy]

Talk it out with your daughter.

If you guys are close, you would both have each others best interests in mind. 

This is such a great milestone, do not let others opinions play a role. She is your daughter. You have come so far for this day. If you would like an escort, i absolutely do not see a problem with that.

Some people may disagree with your taste or choice...but the only people who truly matter is you and your daughter so share your thoughts.

Youve earned it...and deserve to enjoy this day with people who care for and love you.