MrGreenJeans95 Posted July 31, 2021 Posted July 31, 2021 (edited) My ex girlfriend and I broke up 4 years ago, we were eachother's first real relationship. but things just weren't working out and the relationship was toxic. Recently, she found me on Instagram and has really been chatty towards me, and on her account, I see she's dating someone. I didn't care too much at the time since I was over her. She messages me 4 months after her finding me on instagram saying she broke up with her bf and would like to grab a drink. I didn't think much of it and said sure. We met up for the first time in 4 years and it was a lot of fun and we ended up hooking up. We continued to hangout and hook up over the next few weeks and everything was going great, it brought back a lot of fun memories between us. Over those three weeks she would tell me how much she likes me, how happy she was that were active again and she would get REALLY jealous seeing me with other girls resulting in small, stupid arguments. Anyway, today she sent me a text out of the blue saying she had a long talk with her ex and that it went really well, and that they're going to try to work things out and if it doesn't work out then it's a goodbye forever between her and him I really didn't care about her hitting me up and hanging out with her, but for some reason, when she sent me this text, I got bummed out/sad. It's like I didn't know I had feelings and liked her until she sent that. I replied to her text saying that I don't want to be around for that (her working things out with her ex after her telling me how he didn't really care for her) and that I hope it goes well. She then said that she had fun with me and enjoyed the time spent, I didn't respond. Did I handle this properly? If they don't workout should I let her back? What should I do? UPDATE: She just text me again saying "You should've flown me and my friend to Vegas lol" I'm a pilot, which is why she's saying that. Edited July 31, 2021 by AJorquez
Miss Spider Posted July 31, 2021 Posted July 31, 2021 No. Don’t respond. You’re already getting in your feelings and pretty sure she was just using you as back up. Unless you can really just be fine with hooking up, I would definitely avoid her. Drama 2
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 31, 2021 Posted July 31, 2021 23 minutes ago, AJorquez said: Do I respond? Don't. She only hooked up with you again to fill the void from her breakup. If she wanted you and not him, she wouldn't have gone back to him.
Author MrGreenJeans95 Posted July 31, 2021 Author Posted July 31, 2021 3 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: Don't. She only hooked up with you again to fill the void from her breakup. If she wanted you and not him, she wouldn't have gone back to him. That’s exactly what I was thinking. So then wtf is she texting me random s*** like that then? Lmao I don’t under these female games.
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 31, 2021 Posted July 31, 2021 3 minutes ago, AJorquez said: That’s exactly what I was thinking. So then wtf is she texting me random s*** like that then? Lmao I don’t under these female games. Because she's testing to make sure you'll still be around in case her boyfriend dumps her again.
Author MrGreenJeans95 Posted July 31, 2021 Author Posted July 31, 2021 6 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: Because she's testing to make sure you'll still be around in case her boyfriend dumps her again. But she dumped him because he didn’t know how to “lover her properly”
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 31, 2021 Posted July 31, 2021 51 minutes ago, AJorquez said: But she dumped him because he didn’t know how to “lover her properly” Whatever, you believe what she's telling you? I mean if you want to believe her, believe her. But she made a beeline straight back to him. If you want to keep hoping for crumbs from her, go for it. That's up to you. Wear condoms because she is eagerly sleeping with him.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 31, 2021 Posted July 31, 2021 3 hours ago, AJorquez said: So then wtf is she texting me random s*** like that then? To keep you as a back-up in case they break up again. It's pointless to respond to her. You were the filler for her in the aftermath of her break-up, but her heart is with him. Not you. 3
Wiseman2 Posted July 31, 2021 Posted July 31, 2021 6 hours ago, AJorquez said: But she dumped him because he didn’t know how to “lover her properly” Maybe he dumped her for being a flake and she used you to get him back? No harm no foul. A few drinks, a few laughs, a few hookups Be glad you dodged this bullet. Now she's this poor guy's headache. This kind of drama queen really belongs in the "ok for sex" pile, not the "GF material" pile
smackie9 Posted July 31, 2021 Posted July 31, 2021 (edited) Block delete is what you should have done. Anyways her self esteem was so low after her breakup with her ex she went to sought you out because you were accessible. You were just a cushion for her emotions until the ex came rolling around. Tell her to lose your number. Edited July 31, 2021 by smackie9 1
Lotsgoingon Posted July 31, 2021 Posted July 31, 2021 12 hours ago, AJorquez said: She messages me 4 months after her finding me on instagram saying she broke up with her bf and would like to grab a drink. I didn't think much of it and said sure. You didn't think much of it? Were you alive? When an ex calls, the heart beats. Unless you totally hate the ex. Even then, the skin may tingle because of the previous tie and deep feelings for the person. When an ex reaches out, it's usually it's for sex or reconciliation. If not, you would get a very distant vibe and they would go out of their way to be distant. And they would not mention a breakup with bf. BTW: you had no reaction to her mentioning the breakup? Come on now! The bigger problem here is you are silent about YOUR feelings. Sounds like she pressed a button and you responded without a ounce of thought. That's dangerous bro. Don't get together with someone just because they want to get together with you! And don't get together with an ex without total clarity. Saying I didn' t think much of it is like a inmate who gets out of prison who gets a call from the buddy he committed the original crime with. The inmate gets together with the buddy and surprise, surprise!--they commit another crime. Back in prison, the inmate says of the crime buddy's phone call on the outside, I didn't think much of it. Of course, the buddy was calling to do another crime. Never casually get together with an ex unless the boundaries are totally clear. Sounds here like you feel burnt and dumped, but it's not clear you ever wanted to get back together with her in the first place. 2
Noproblem Posted July 31, 2021 Posted July 31, 2021 (edited) Please block this human parasite as soon as possible, your life is way better without her manipulation and lies. Promise yourself that you won't ever be a second fiddle again or option Stand-by until the real deal comes around! Edited July 31, 2021 by Noproblem
Author MrGreenJeans95 Posted July 31, 2021 Author Posted July 31, 2021 9 minutes ago, Noproblem said: Please block this human parasite as soon as possible, your life is way better without her manipulation and lies. Promise yourself that you won't ever be a second fiddle or option Stand-by until the real deal comes around! I agree, I never replied to her text and she text me again and went off saying how I'm immature and that no one said we can't be friends, etc. Didn't reply to those either lmao
Author MrGreenJeans95 Posted July 31, 2021 Author Posted July 31, 2021 1 hour ago, Lotsgoingon said: You didn't think much of it? Were you alive? When an ex calls, the heart beats. Unless you totally hate the ex. Even then, the skin may tingle because of the previous tie and deep feelings for the person. When an ex reaches out, it's usually it's for sex or reconciliation. If not, you would get a very distant vibe and they would go out of their way to be distant. And they would not mention a breakup with bf. BTW: you had no reaction to her mentioning the breakup? Come on now! The bigger problem here is you are silent about YOUR feelings. Sounds like she pressed a button and you responded without a ounce of thought. That's dangerous bro. Don't get together with someone just because they want to get together with you! And don't get together with an ex without total clarity. Saying I didn' t think much of it is like a inmate who gets out of prison who gets a call from the buddy he committed the original crime with. The inmate gets together with the buddy and surprise, surprise!--they commit another crime. Back in prison, the inmate says of the crime buddy's phone call on the outside, I didn't think much of it. Of course, the buddy was calling to do another crime. Never casually get together with an ex unless the boundaries are totally clear. Sounds here like you feel burnt and dumped, but it's not clear you ever wanted to get back together with her in the first place. You're right, man. I just didn't care at the time. But everything you said is 100% true, I'm still learning all this stuff haha.
Lotsgoingon Posted July 31, 2021 Posted July 31, 2021 I think many of us have done dumb stuff with exes. I was tough in my response, but only because I've been burned by this kind of behavior.
BC1980 Posted July 31, 2021 Posted July 31, 2021 4 hours ago, AJorquez said: I agree, I never replied to her text and she text me again and went off saying how I'm immature and that no one said we can't be friends, etc. Didn't reply to those either lmao Don't reply at all. It's not worth it. She was looking for an ego boost from you. Now that you aren't responding, it's taken away her power. As far as you feeling sad, it's sometimes more the idea that you can't have the person anymore. Someone being unavailable seems to make them instantly more attractive. A poster on here once said that the most attractive person is always the one driving away.
mark clemson Posted August 1, 2021 Posted August 1, 2021 Quote my ex broke up with her bf, got with me, then went back to her bf? These things happen. Let her go.
ShyViolet Posted August 1, 2021 Posted August 1, 2021 On 7/30/2021 at 9:33 PM, AJorquez said: Did I handle this properly? If they don't workout should I let her back? How is this even a question? Do you honestly think it's a good idea to let her keep showing back up in your life whenever she feels like it and playing games with you?
Calmandfocused Posted August 1, 2021 Posted August 1, 2021 (edited) Take your power back and absolutely do not be an active player in her silly games. Her behaviour demonstrates that she does not care about you. She cares about herself and her ego. She wants you in a position that serves her, not you. You’re boosting her confidence and disrespecting yourself by being a willing participant in her games. Stop that. Demand more respect for yourself. Refuse to be her puppet on a string and don’t respond to her. Focus on you! Side note: Why are you single? Don’t pilots have 24 hour access to young, hot flight attendants? Edited August 1, 2021 by Calmandfocused
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