robaday Posted July 28, 2021 Posted July 28, 2021 I have been dating someone for three months. She is smart reliable and we get on well. I trust her, shes caring and attractive. Not her fault at all but due to lockdown it's been tricky keeping a spark especially as we are in early days of dating/relationship. Essentially I am not feeling a spark but I know she's a great catch and there are factors outside her control at play (we can't do fun dates, we are heavily restricted in terms of what we can do). The other day while walking I met a woman randomly, she asked me something and as we were headed in the same direction I walked down the road with her. We got on really well and ended up hanging out for six hours outside. Nothing happened but the attraction was mutual and she expressed interest in seeing me again. I kinda feel like I would like to see her again but obviously don't want to cheat. I know I am onto a good thing with the woman I have been seeing and haven't dated anyone else since I met her. And seems a bit reckless just ending it over someone I barely know. But the fact I want to see this other woman again concerns me given I have been seeing one for three months. Anyone else experienced this?
Wiseman2 Posted July 28, 2021 Posted July 28, 2021 4 minutes ago, robaday said: But the fact I want to see this other woman again concerns me given I have been seeing one for three months. Well that's the main thing. Being attracted to someone else? Fine. Casual conversation with someone else? Fine. However thinking of giving the 12 week GF the heave-ho over some small talk encounter, indicates that you are not as happy as you thought and that you may be settling. Think of this encounter as a reason to reflect on whether your current situation is one which just looks good on paper or if your heart is in it. 4
Miss Spider Posted July 28, 2021 Posted July 28, 2021 (edited) I’ve experienced it. Means you’re not that into your girl anymore. Sorry. Edited July 28, 2021 by Cookiesandough 2
d0nnivain Posted July 28, 2021 Posted July 28, 2021 It sounds like the relationship you were settling for has run it's course. 2
Blind-Sided Posted July 28, 2021 Posted July 28, 2021 (edited) Yep... what @Wiseman2 said. Even with the lockdowns... you should still find ways to communicate, and make the effort to "See" each other to keep the relationship alive. But, it sounds like you really don't want to put that effort out there. I never condone cheating... but have you told the GF that you are now exclusive? If not... then it's really not cheating at the 3 month mark. And... I get the feeling that you are settling for your current GF. It's really kind of hard to give solid advice... but I guess I would see the new girl at least once more... see if that spark is there... and then make a choice. Edited July 28, 2021 by Blind-Sided 1
Author robaday Posted July 29, 2021 Author Posted July 29, 2021 We haven't said the words "exclusive" yet, but she has indicated she wants more from me in terms of seeing each other more often, more contact etc and I have stepped up since that discussion about a month ago. So I get the sense she would be hurt if I did sleep with someone else. Interestingly she did say she wouldn't mind the idea of a three way relationship (with another woman, she has had a relationship with a woman in the past) I think Blind-Sided's advice is what I was leaning toward. Seeing this other person once more and if there is a definite spark (I wont sleep with her) ending things.
basil67 Posted July 29, 2021 Posted July 29, 2021 The fact your girlfriend had to raise a discussion to have the two of you contact each other more also speaks volumes. In my experience, if both parties are keen, they up the contact instinctively. 2
ShyViolet Posted July 30, 2021 Posted July 30, 2021 You said you are "not feeling a spark" with the girl you're dating. That speaks volumes. It doesn't matter whether there is a lockdown or not, if you were really into her, you would be "feeling a spark." And the fact that you were able to get so easily attracted to someone else.... it shows that you are really not into this girl you are dating. Do her a favor and stop wasting her time. End it before she gets any more invested in you. 1
divegrl Posted July 30, 2021 Posted July 30, 2021 Hi, I think you should just end it. Even if it doesn’t work out with this new girl… there will at some point be another “new” girl. At 3 months, there has been enough time to build chemistry, and it’s just not there with her. Wishing you the best
Recommended Posts