heavenonearth Posted July 27, 2021 Posted July 27, 2021 Hi there. I am meeting my boyfriend's mom for the first time and would like to bring a nice gift as a kind gesture. The day after she will go on vacation and we will stay at her apartment for the time being (as it is nicer than my boyfriend's apartment), and I find that very kind of her so I want to bring a gift. She is in her mid 60s, more of a hippiesque, unconventional and rather progressive woman. But that is all I know about her. Don't want to ask my boyfriend bc I don't want him to think I am overdoing it (I know he would just say "You don't need to bring a gift"). Thoughts? 2
mortensorchid Posted July 27, 2021 Posted July 27, 2021 Flowers are always all purpose go to gifts. 3
d0nnivain Posted July 27, 2021 Posted July 27, 2021 (edited) You absolutely do need to bring the gift, even more so because you will be staying in the woman's home. You are thoughtful & proper for having recognized this. Since the mom is leaving the day after you meet her do not get her anything perishable -- no food or flowers. She won't be able to enjoy them. In any other context these would be the perfect gift. Instead get her something she can use on her trip . . . a nice travel tote; an RFID wallet; a guide book for where ever she's going; a cute picture frame for a photo she may take while on this trip; a lovely scarf or pashmina to wear on the plane etc. Edited July 27, 2021 by d0nnivain 2
Gaeta Posted July 27, 2021 Posted July 27, 2021 1 hour ago, d0nnivain said: Instead get her something she can use on her trip . . . a nice travel tote; an RFID wallet; a guide book for where ever she's going; a cute picture frame for a photo she may take while on this trip; a lovely scarf or pashmina to wear on the plane etc. I second that. Excellent ideas! 2 1
Miss Spider Posted July 27, 2021 Posted July 27, 2021 (edited) I’d actually bring something homemade/baked (if you can do that) that ya’ll can enjoy eating that day/night. Or a succulent. Hippies love succulents. Edited July 27, 2021 by Cookiesandough 3
Wiseman2 Posted July 27, 2021 Posted July 27, 2021 2 hours ago, Donnas said: Flowers This or something else universal and neutral, since you don't know her. 1 1
Lotsgoingon Posted July 27, 2021 Posted July 27, 2021 I would say flowers but she's not going to be around for the flowers because she is leaving. Ideally you'd learn of her interests through your bf. The challenge of gifts is that it's so easy to give someone something they don't really care about. And sure, they'll acknowledge the gesture and yet it is wasted. If the mom is sorta a hippie, you don't need to go ultra traditional. You might do something simple. Get a creative card, a thank you card. After you meet her and assuming you do indeed like her, write her an authentic note on the card to hand to her before she leaves. Hippies are into authentic connections. Also, just profusely thank her for letting you stay at her place while she's away. Frankly, the best gift you can give her is yourself. And this is somewhat out of your control. Just be warm and thankful and she'll be delighted that her son as a gf that she genuinely likes. Later, as you know her better, you can give her a gift that really fits who she is and her interests. You can also just send her a nice thank you card after she returns. Send a real card. Real cards (and letters) with some handwritten sincere notes are a 1,000 x better than any e-card or the like. Just that you take time to do that shows a lot of effort and gratitude. People love that, are impressed by that. Oh, if she likes wine, find out her particular type she likes. Wine drinkers love good wine. 1
lana-banana Posted July 27, 2021 Posted July 27, 2021 I second the idea of a vacation-related thing, but you have to get your boyfriend's guidance. Flowers are not always good; my mother-in-law is deathly allergic to the vast majority of flowers! Similarly, you don't want to bring wine to a teetotaller or an alcoholic, etc. A popular bestseller she can read on the plane/at the beach/etc, a really nice candle, a travel toiletry bag could all be nice. 6
Miss Spider Posted July 27, 2021 Posted July 27, 2021 (edited) All great ideas. Remember though it’s the thought that counts. It’s a sweet gesture I’m sure she’ll appreciate !! Edited July 27, 2021 by Cookiesandough 3
central Posted July 28, 2021 Posted July 28, 2021 Make/bake something. Pot brownies may be perfect, but you'd need to know more about her first. O/w, flowers are good. 1
Kai_Kai Posted July 28, 2021 Posted July 28, 2021 On 7/26/2021 at 10:00 PM, heavenonearth said: Hi there. I am meeting my boyfriend's mom for the first time and would like to bring a nice gift as a kind gesture. The day after she will go on vacation and we will stay at her apartment for the time being (as it is nicer than my boyfriend's apartment), and I find that very kind of her so I want to bring a gift. She is in her mid 60s, more of a hippiesque, unconventional and rather progressive woman. But that is all I know about her. Don't want to ask my boyfriend bc I don't want him to think I am overdoing it (I know he would just say "You don't need to bring a gift"). Thoughts? I would get her a gift tailored towards her vacation. Your boyfriend can help with that. Like, if she is going somewhere warm and sunny maybe a sunhat, pair of glasses, a tote bag (everyone loves a big tote bag to bring to the beach), a beach towel... 5
Alpacalia Posted July 28, 2021 Posted July 28, 2021 (edited) 21 minutes ago, central said: Make/bake something. Pot brownies may be perfect, but you'd need to know more about her first. O/w, flowers are good. "hippiesque." Pot brownies. Clever. No extravagant gift when you first meet her. Keep it simple. Some really good suggestions here, I like the candle idea, maybe a nice fragrant soy candle in a decorative jar. There's a candle that can be recycled into flowers (pretty neat): It's called "the growing candle" Edited July 28, 2021 by Alpaca 2
Author heavenonearth Posted July 28, 2021 Author Posted July 28, 2021 (edited) Thank you for all your responses. I have been contemplating a lot today and decided to buy her a book. It is part memoir, part travel book, and from what my boyfriend told me about her, I feel she would like it. She may enjoy reading it while they travel along the coastlines (the book includes stories about coastlines). Hopefully it is thoughtful enough, I have been really breaking my head over this! My bf and I have been dating for over a year and it is a lot of pressure on me to make a good first impression on his mom. She had already sent us some christmas surprise box last year and I feel I want to also get her a gift, especially bc we will be staying at her apartment for a week. Edited July 28, 2021 by heavenonearth 6
Gaeta Posted July 28, 2021 Posted July 28, 2021 5 hours ago, heavenonearth said: Thank you for all your responses. I have been contemplating a lot today and decided to buy her a book. It is part memoir, part travel book, and from what my boyfriend told me about her, I feel she would like it. She may enjoy reading it while they travel along the coastlines (the book includes stories about coastlines). Excellent choice!
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