Cloudyskies9999 Posted July 25, 2021 Posted July 25, 2021 (edited) I told my boyfriend 9 days ago that I had some concerns about us. I said “I” and was very polite. told him I don’t feel special at all even though I treat him very special and don’t understand why not (no flowers or cards no phone calls just texts etc). I also asked him why he’s never introduced me as his girlfriend even though we’ve been exclusive for 5 months and if he’d like to travel with me. Finally I shared I thought we should see each other twice a week and that I wanted to know him more instead of once a week. One weekday night and a Saturday night. he didn’t respond at all. When I asked him if I’m his girlfriend or fwb he said well we sleep together so you’re my gf. I really was very non accusatory and was looking for some kind of positive reaction. I also said I was disappointed he hasn’t mentioned anything about my birthday (this week). Again no response. i waited a few days and no response not even let’s make dinner plans this week for your birthday. So after 2 days I really was upset and called him. This time I was direct and not nice. I told him I didn’t want to get on his case but how could he treat me like such crap etc. he had no reply except to say he thought we had it resolved when he told me the other night he agreed with what I said. So what? He didn’t do anything different! He didn’t even call me (he only texts unless he needs my legal advice then he calls and I mentioned this too). I assumed he’d at least see me this past Saturday but sent him a text. I bought what I think is his favorite drink (over 50 dollars a bottle!) with a pic of it and 2 cats (we both are cat lovers) and I said peace offering assuming I’ll see you tomorrow looking forward to it). By the way I sent 3 apologies by text to him during the week He replied to my text on Friday that he’s going to his friends and isn’t around this weekend but he’ll be around this weekend and next weekend. Really? I simply replied if or when you want to reach me you know where to find me. That was 2 days ago. I haven’t heard from him. my birthday is this week and he’s supposed to go with me to my daughters wedding in 6 weeks. did he just fall off the side of the earth? I won’t contact him unless I don’t hear back by my birthday. Then I’ll send him a goodbye text he will not enjoy. Am I missing something? Edited July 25, 2021 by Cloudyskies9999
Amanda92 Posted July 25, 2021 Posted July 25, 2021 I'm sorry, but if he wants to meet you only once a week, he is not that into you.
Kai_Kai Posted July 25, 2021 Posted July 25, 2021 29 minutes ago, Cloudyskies9999 said: I told my boyfriend 9 days ago that I had some concerns about us. I said “I” and was very polite. told him I don’t feel special at all even though I treat him very special and don’t understand why not (no flowers or cards no phone calls just texts etc). I also asked him why he’s never introduced me as his girlfriend even though we’ve been exclusive for 5 months and if he’d like to travel with me. Finally I shared I thought we should see each other twice a week and that I wanted to know him more instead of once a week. One weekday night and a Saturday night. he didn’t respond at all. When I asked him if I’m his girlfriend or fwb he said well we sleep together so you’re my gf. I really was very non accusatory and was looking for some kind of positive reaction. I also said I was disappointed he hasn’t mentioned anything about my birthday (this week). Again no response. i waited a few days and no response not even let’s make dinner plans this week for your birthday. So after 2 days I really was upset and called him. This time I was direct and not nice. I told him I didn’t want to get on his case but how could he treat me like such crap etc. he had no reply except to say he thought we had it resolved when he told me the other night he agreed with what I said. So what? He didn’t do anything different! He didn’t even call me (he only texts unless he needs my legal advice then he calls and I mentioned this too). I assumed he’d at least see me this past Saturday but sent him a text. I bought what I think is his favorite drink (over 50 dollars a bottle!) with a pic of it and 2 cats (we both are cat lovers) and I said peace offering assuming I’ll see you tomorrow looking forward to it). By the way I sent 3 apologies by text to him during the week He replied to my text on Friday that he’s going to his friends and isn’t around this weekend but he’ll be around this weekend and next weekend. Really? I simply replied if or when you want to reach me you know where to find me. That was 2 days ago. I haven’t heard from him. my birthday is this week and he’s supposed to go with me to my daughters wedding in 6 weeks. did he just fall off the side of the earth? I won’t contact him unless I don’t hear back by my birthday. Then I’ll send him a goodbye text he will not enjoy. Am I missing something? Maybe I am low key way into my hobbies and work, but once a week sounds acceptable if he has a busy schedule and vice versa . But at the same time, you want to be in a relationship that can meet you half way, so you're in your right to want to see him more. I think you're putting a lot of timelines and ultimatums on him whether directly or indirectly he probably feels you came off too strong. I mean if my bf started blurting out randomly why I didn't do this, that, and the third all in one conversation...followed by a series of random texts and apologies, I would feel totally suffocated.
glows Posted July 25, 2021 Posted July 25, 2021 Don’t you already have a thread about this man? Based on the new info here, it sounds like he’s using you. This is dysfunctional. If you’re so upset why are you apologizing at all or buying wine? He can very well go off to see his friends but he certainly shouldn’t be seeing you any time soon. Don’t respond to any of his texts until he calls you or treats you better. Better yet, let the joker go and delete/block him permanently. He’s not going to change because you’re upset or because you suddenly change your mood or buy wine. If anything he’s not going to take you seriously at all because you say one thing (get angry with him) and then expect to see him. 1
ShyViolet Posted July 26, 2021 Posted July 26, 2021 I think the relationship is over, yes. He sounds pretty checked out of the relationship. Why are you apologizing? You should stop wasting your time with this and just put an end to it already. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted July 26, 2021 Posted July 26, 2021 As we told you in your last thread, he is not that into you. Rather than trying to convince him to like you more and pay more attention to you, and trying to apologize for your own needs and desires - just end it. This is not going to become the relationship you want. And if you wind up sticking around, do not bring him to your daughter's wedding. It will be embarrassing later to explain why, A) he changes his mind and doesn't come, or B) he fades out of your life thereafter. He has given you no reason to believe this is a serious relationship, and thus I would not for one moment think about inviting him to a big family event. He doesn't see you that way. 2
Blind-Sided Posted July 26, 2021 Posted July 26, 2021 12 hours ago, Amanda92 said: I'm sorry, but if he wants to meet you only once a week, he is not that into you. Yep. Once a week... and didn't say "She is my GF" when introducing... he's really not into you. You are convenient for him.
Wiseman2 Posted July 26, 2021 Posted July 26, 2021 (edited) 12 hours ago, Cloudyskies9999 said: I said “I” and was very polite. told him I don’t feel special at all even though I treat him very special. I bought what I think is his favorite drink (over 50 dollars a bottle!) I sent 3 apologies by text to him during the week When you stop chasing and throwing gifts, free legal advice, etc. at dud like this your self-respect will improve. You're chasing someone who blows you off. You'll feel better when you cut your losses. You can't squeeze blood out of a stone, no matter how many "I" conversations you have.. You're overinvolved and overinvesting, then having "I" conversations to inform him that he needs to treat you better. Edited July 26, 2021 by Wiseman2 1
smackie9 Posted July 26, 2021 Posted July 26, 2021 (edited) seeing each other once a week and no acknowledgement of milestones in the relationship is not acceptable to YOU. What the hell are you doing spending 50 bucks to suck up to him??? You cray cray girl, you need some self worth. You don't make him into a BF, you go find yourself a BF. After a couple of months of this, ya should have be sendin him down the road with a boot to the a$$. it's not that this relationship is over it SHOULD be over. Edited July 26, 2021 by smackie9
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted July 26, 2021 Posted July 26, 2021 This sounds like a relationship I was in years ago. This guy isn't emotionally invested in you. Maybe he's just this way with you, or maybe he has a hard time connecting in a romantic relationship period. You shouldn't stick around long enough to find out which one it is. I'm willing to bet what will happen is that he will continue his behavior and you will continue to beg and nag, until he reaches a breaking point. He will then use your nagging as an excuse as to why he is breaking up with you. Having never connected to you emotionally, he will pretty much disappear after that.
Miss Spider Posted July 26, 2021 Posted July 26, 2021 There’s no compromise here and no middle ground to be had, so I guess it’s done. I’m sorry 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 27, 2021 Posted July 27, 2021 Ugh! You're groveling! Please just kick him to the curb!
basil67 Posted July 27, 2021 Posted July 27, 2021 The OP says been exclusive with this boyfriend for five months. Her previous post was nine months ago and they'd been together for more than a year. This would indicate that she's moved on from the last guy and is now with a new one. @Cloudyskies9999 what were you apologising for?
d0nnivain Posted July 27, 2021 Posted July 27, 2021 No need for that angry good bye text you want to send. You already said your piece. Just be done The best gift you can give yourself for your BF is the freedom to go find a solid relationship that fits your needs.
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