avrkjerv Posted July 22, 2021 Posted July 22, 2021 (edited) I matched with this guy on Tinder over a month ago and we both learned we work at the same cafe, just different locations. He didn't respond to me but that was probably cause there was nothing more in that conversation. I ended up deleting my account a couple weeks later. Fast forward to last week, due to change in management he ended up coming up to my location. I worked a shift with him on Saturday and we didn't exactly say that we knew each other, but we both knew that we did. Out of boredom I re-downloaded the app that night, and ended up matching with him on Sunday night (he had to have swiped after we worked together on Saturday). We were kinda talking for a few days. I ended up visiting his location (not knowing he was working there), on Monday as I was in town. Yesterday morning I messaged him something in response to a question he asked, but he didn't respond. My friend and I had plans to go to the cafe in the afternoon so we went and he was working. He hasn't said anything (actually he left me on read). Is the encounter just over? Kinda confused as to why he would initiate conversation again if nothing more is happening? I feel like if we work together again it might be very awkward haha. Edited July 22, 2021 by avrkjerv
stillafool Posted July 22, 2021 Posted July 22, 2021 I don't know but I wouldn't message him again if I were you. He already probably thought you and your friend came to his cafe just to see him and he didn't even say hi. Just pull back now and see what happens. He asked you a question and you messaged the answer and he didn't reply back? Maybe your message didn't require a reply, you think?
Author avrkjerv Posted July 22, 2021 Author Posted July 22, 2021 (edited) 6 minutes ago, stillafool said: I don't know but I wouldn't message him again if I were you. He already probably thought you and your friend came to his cafe just to see him and he didn't even say hi. Just pull back now and see what happens. He asked you a question and you messaged the answer and he didn't reply back? Maybe your message didn't require a reply, you think? hi! I actually went yesterday to see my other coworker (he probably knows this because she sat down to talk to me for like half an hour after her shift. he did say hi and actually came up to our table to check in on us (we work at the same place and this is not what we're supposed to do lol). we had a super brief conversation when I got up to get something for my friend. my question didn't really need a response, but I was curious as to whether he was say something in response. looking back, he asked a question each time he messaged me, but I didn't do that the last time I messaged him. I kinda want to delete the app but don't know incase he messages back... Edited July 22, 2021 by avrkjerv
stillafool Posted July 22, 2021 Posted July 22, 2021 Well leave the app open for a while to see if he reaches out. He's smart to ask questions to keep it going. Maybe you have a question for him?????
Author avrkjerv Posted July 22, 2021 Author Posted July 22, 2021 (edited) i'm sure I could come up with a question lol. but I feel like it would be too weird to message him now if he read my previous message and didn't respond?? another thing to add it is very likely I'll be working a shift with him next week. Edited July 22, 2021 by avrkjerv 1
d0nnivain Posted July 23, 2021 Posted July 23, 2021 Since there is some likelihood that you will be working together next week, back off until you see him. Instead of awkward be warm, friendly & gracious. Be normal. If you don't act weird & awkward but instead smile & talk to him in a friendly way things should be fine. From there you can decide if he's worth flirting with. But for now stop with the messaging & the app. However if he reaches out to you talk to him.
Blind-Sided Posted July 23, 2021 Posted July 23, 2021 12 hours ago, avrkjerv said: I matched with this guy on Tinder over a month ago That's the issue right there. Why did you wait over a month? You were chatting after the match... you should have asked him out then. Since you really don't know him... you don't know his story. Drop it, and move on.
Author avrkjerv Posted July 23, 2021 Author Posted July 23, 2021 6 minutes ago, Blind-Sided said: That's the issue right there. Why did you wait over a month? You were chatting after the match... you should have asked him out then. Since you really don't know him... you don't know his story. Drop it, and move on. actually the convo over a month ago fizzled out and i ended up deleting the app. i redownloaded it after i ended up working a shift w him. so we’ve basically have two separate conversations on two different occasions on the app.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 23, 2021 Posted July 23, 2021 12 minutes ago, avrkjerv said: actually the convo over a month ago fizzled out Was it always him trying to keep the conversation going, though? Or did you sometimes ask him questions, too?
Author avrkjerv Posted July 23, 2021 Author Posted July 23, 2021 1 minute ago, ExpatInItaly said: Was it always him trying to keep the conversation going, though? Or did you sometimes ask him questions, too? every message i sent (except for the last one which got no response) had a question.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 23, 2021 Posted July 23, 2021 (edited) 4 minutes ago, avrkjerv said: every message i sent (except for the last one which got no response) had a question. Ah, got it. I wasn't sure if this was just a one-off in the last message or not. It sounds to me like he lost interest for whatever reason. Maybe he started talking to another girl more. In any event, he appears lukewarm now. I would keep my options open and not wait around hoping to hear from him. Edited July 23, 2021 by ExpatInItaly 1
Miss Spider Posted July 23, 2021 Posted July 23, 2021 He doesn’t sound interested at all. Sorry but if he were interested when you guys first talked on the app and you mentioned you worked at the same place he wouldn’t of left the conversation die. I’d just let it go 1
chillii Posted July 23, 2021 Posted July 23, 2021 He's not that interested sorry. He's come back and said a few things but it all sounds very very flat and so it's basically just going nowhere.
smackie9 Posted July 23, 2021 Posted July 23, 2021 Yup it's pretty clear it's done. When they don't respond to your messages, it's because they don't want to.
Wiseman2 Posted July 23, 2021 Posted July 23, 2021 Maybe he doesn't mix dating and working, which is a wise choice. Keep your dating apps, perhaps add a few better quality ones and make sure you have a good profile and pics.
Author avrkjerv Posted July 26, 2021 Author Posted July 26, 2021 update: he reached out again, i said i was probably deleting the app (which i did). and now we’ve been snapping and texting since then.
Author avrkjerv Posted July 26, 2021 Author Posted July 26, 2021 yes, tentative for sunday because we’re both working opposite shifts all week.
Miss Spider Posted July 26, 2021 Posted July 26, 2021 . Maybe I’m just an outlier than actually likes men who show clear interest but I’m really confused on why you’re bothering w this guy
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