Dillon609 Posted July 22, 2021 Posted July 22, 2021 So I met this one girl through a friend. We started snapchatting for a few days and honestly I thought it would just be another person that I talked to and it wouldn’t really go anywhere. But after a while I realized she was really cool and I wanted to try to get to know her more. So I invited her to a bonfire with some friends, and that went pretty good. A few more days went by and I went on a double date with her to a state fair, and man did that go well. It seemed like we really hit it off ans she was getting really comfortable with me. We drove around for a few hours just talking and being goofy. Now the thing is, she says that she isn’t really looking for a relationship just because of a past relationship she had that didn’t go so well. But when we hung out it seemed like we were really hitting it off and things were going really well. And by now I have really caught feelings for her and i do not wanna give up. We still text everyday and I’m trying to hang out with her more, it just seems like she is playing hard to get because it’s kind of hard to get her to hang out with me, even though she will say that she had a lot of fun and would love to hang out again. What should I to do to get her to fall for me and realize that all guys aren’t bad and that we could give it and try and see where it goes??
glows Posted July 22, 2021 Posted July 22, 2021 If she’s declining your dates or making up excuses while still chatting with you or flirting with you she’s using you as an ego boost. She did say she’s not looking for a relationship. Unfortunately continuing to chase her is just unattractive overall. Let her choose you. Stop trying so hard. In the meantime find ways to take your mind off of her and meet new people. Let yourself actually get to know others and be interested in other people. If this doesn’t work out, that is fine too. Life is too short to stress about someone else’s baggage. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted July 22, 2021 Posted July 22, 2021 She isn't playing hard to get, OP. She's just not interested the way you are. There's a significant difference. It would be best if you didn't keep trying to ask her out. Her avoidance is your answer. Whether it's because she doesn't quite see you like that or because she's still healing from her ex, it's best to take a big step back here. 4
Shining One Posted July 22, 2021 Posted July 22, 2021 Spend time with other women. If she starts chasing you, then there's hope. If she doesn't, you'll have cultivated other prospects. 1
Wiseman2 Posted July 22, 2021 Posted July 22, 2021 3 hours ago, Dillon609 said: , she says that she isn’t really looking for a relationship You may want to step back from this. This is classic friendzoning. She's not playing hard to get she's trying not to lead you on but enjoying your attention and friendship. 2
spiderowl Posted July 22, 2021 Posted July 22, 2021 I don't think she is 'playing hard to get', OP. She is not as interested as you are. It may be that she senses you are keen and she is getting worried about this. If she likes you as a friend and is not feeling more at the moment, then she will be careful not to be too encouraging. I do think that friendship can turn into more but it depends on several things: - people getting to know each other better - less pressured situations - i.e. not dates, just hang outs - no chasing or pressure on your part - you accepting that a friendship might never turn into more and being prepared for that. If you leave her to it for a while and just keep in touch loosely, say a couple of times a week, then she may agree to meet up again if she feel safe that she's not likely to break your heart. So, you need to be cool and you need to start seeing other women instead. There are no promises and you should not blame her if friendship never turns into more. Relaxed friendship can eventually turn into love but only if both people feel they are making a choice and not being pursued. 1
d0nnivain Posted July 22, 2021 Posted July 22, 2021 I agree with everyone who is telling you that she is not "playing hard to get." She told you she does not want a relationship. She is distancing herself from you because she knows you like her & are catching feelings. She does not want to hurt you by being direct & cutting you off completely. Your best move is to dial it back & pursue others. In time she won't matter any more.
smackie9 Posted July 22, 2021 Posted July 22, 2021 Ya she just likes the attention she's getting from you. Don't be a shelp, ditch her.
ShyViolet Posted July 22, 2021 Posted July 22, 2021 She is not interested in you. You just don't want to see that, and you're labeling it as she's "playing hard to get" because that's what you prefer to believe. She straight-up told you that she's not looking for a relationship. And when you try to make plans with her, she avoids it. This is not behavior of someone who is interested. Leave this girl alone. You cannot "make" her more interested in you.
flitzanu Posted July 22, 2021 Posted July 22, 2021 "not looking for a relationship right now" means "not interested in a relationship with you" 1
poppyfields Posted July 22, 2021 Posted July 22, 2021 (edited) 15 hours ago, Dillon609 said: We still text everyday and I’m trying to hang out with her more, it just seems like she is playing hard to get because it’s kind of hard to get her to hang out with me, even though she will say that she had a lot of fun and would love to hang out again. What should I to do to get her to fall for me and realize that all guys aren’t bad and that we could give it and try and see where it goes?? I don't think she is intentionally "playing" hard to get, to me she sounds conflicted. I mean on one hand, she's texting daily and telling you she would love to hang out, but when you ask to hang out, she declines? To answer your question in bold, my advice is to pull back, stop texting. Go silent for awhile. Don't tell her why just go silent. In other words, stop PUSHING. Stop trying so hard. That may result in her wondering about you, wondering why you stopped texting, and missing you. Missing your attention, which in turn might possibly ignite feelings of attraction, assuming she likes you but conflicted because of a past bad relationship (that she still may be trying to get over) and doesn't know what she wants. And reaching out. Allow her the time and space to do that (reach out to you). If she doesn't, then c'est la vie. She's just not feeling it. My advice comes from my own experience because I have been in her shoes, a few times actually. Good luck! Edited July 22, 2021 by poppyfields 3
Donnas Posted July 22, 2021 Posted July 22, 2021 Saying no means no! Its not her playing hard to get. Dont forget that. Otherwise u will misread women and come across pushy stalking. She said she is not into relationships,probably healing from her past. You did it well by inviting her on group stuff. And not force the date vibe thing on her. She told you clearly. So you keep trying will make you vulnerable to get use or hurt. Stop entertaining her. You did your part. If she wants more she will do her part and let you know. 1
Lotsgoingon Posted July 23, 2021 Posted July 23, 2021 People can go out with other people and have a good time, have a great time. Doesn't mean they want to date the person are open in the slightest to thinking about dating this person. I'm not sure there is such a thing as "playing hard to get." There are people who are not desperate. There are people not looking for a relationship. But most people--if they are interested in dating--show that interest. She's not interested. Quit texting btw: you're wasting time. That's going to go absolutely nowhere. If she was interested in dating you, she would make herself quite available. Heck, she's retract her previous statement of not being interested in dating. Move on dude. This is going nowhere. 1
Miss Spider Posted July 23, 2021 Posted July 23, 2021 I think enjoying having you in orbit but not srs about dating you. Wouldn’t waste too much time. Start talking more with others 1
Kai_Kai Posted July 24, 2021 Posted July 24, 2021 On 7/21/2021 at 11:13 PM, Dillon609 said: So I met this one girl through a friend. We started snapchatting for a few days and honestly I thought it would just be another person that I talked to and it wouldn’t really go anywhere. But after a while I realized she was really cool and I wanted to try to get to know her more. So I invited her to a bonfire with some friends, and that went pretty good. A few more days went by and I went on a double date with her to a state fair, and man did that go well. It seemed like we really hit it off ans she was getting really comfortable with me. We drove around for a few hours just talking and being goofy. Now the thing is, she says that she isn’t really looking for a relationship just because of a past relationship she had that didn’t go so well. But when we hung out it seemed like we were really hitting it off and things were going really well. And by now I have really caught feelings for her and i do not wanna give up. We still text everyday and I’m trying to hang out with her more, it just seems like she is playing hard to get because it’s kind of hard to get her to hang out with me, even though she will say that she had a lot of fun and would love to hang out again. What should I to do to get her to fall for me and realize that all guys aren’t bad and that we could give it and try and see where it goes?? She doesn't sound interesting. It's not playing hard to get, its simply not being interested. Move on to the next 1
Blue Sea Posted July 24, 2021 Posted July 24, 2021 When a lady said she is not interested in looking for a relationship, that shows a clear sign. She accepted to hang out with you could be out of boredom or treated you as a good friend. You should try to give other ladies a chance. Also to show her that you are not really focusing on her alone only. If she really likes you, she will definitely show some jealousy.
Recommended Posts