TonyC Posted October 18, 2005 Posted October 18, 2005 i was with this girl for 3 years, we were very much in love till the last minute. I did something wrong that caused her to lose trust in me. So the final day that we were together it ended bad, she was crying and i was very sad. She walked out of my life and never turned back. I would call her everyday, email her, send her flowers, anything i could to show her how sorry i was. Then she got tired of me doing that, so she changed her number,her email, basically any form of contact from me....I was crushed i did not know where to turn 2, so i began to do things the wrong way, instead of improving myself i went the other way, i began to drink a lot and smoke and just basically be very iresponsible...my life went to ****.. Then one day i realized that ther was more to life then this, so i began to make changes in myself..and then the unexpected happened, i was on a trip in miami 3 months after our breakup to get my mind cleared and she called my cell phone, she had blocked her number so i did not know who it was. then she begins to try and be nice and friendly with me, so i tell her, dont bother calling me, forget about it, iam trying to move on with my life....When i came back from miami, one of my friends told me that the whole summer she was with another guy..when i found out i was crushed..i fell down to rock bottom once again, because 3 years is a long time, and for someone who was supposed to care and love you to be with someone else while u were crying for them the whole time..that is just wrong..so after i came back from miami i was really sad and didnt know what to do, so i called her job and asked her about it, shes like "yeah so what" i am allowed to do whatever i want. And i said i know, i just wanted to know..this guy happens to be her bestfriends sisters ex boyfriend..i know him from before..so then u know, i was hurt and tried to make the best of things, but after that she kept on calling me, telling me that its not the same without me, and i would scratch my head " wtf is going on here" She knew how i felt about her and how hard our breakup was on me but yet she is calling me and confusing me about this..i dont know how someone would do that to another person...why would u get their hopes up by sayind those thigs..after that it did just that, i got my hopes up..and was turned down when i told her i wanted her back...so weeks pass and one day she calls me very sad, because i had been ignoring her, so she says stop being mean to me, and said i want you back..and my heart just dropped...i was like ohh yeah, what about the whole summmer while i was sitting here crying for you did u want me back then, while u were out with someone else...did u care? and she stayed quiet, and hung up...so then the next day i had a job interview and she called me early in the morning, i picked up cause i wanted to know what she wanted.........she said the other guy was stressing her out, and im like ok well deal with it on your own. and i hung up again, then when i get to my house after my interview, guess what? she was infront of my house, said she needed a hug..that was the first time i seen her since the break up....So give her a hug and walk into my house, then she comes in and we actually ended up having sex..in my head it was special i thought we would get back together,the whole time she was at my house she was telling me how stupid that other guy is, how she is not even attracted to him..things like that, this guy called her 100 times while she was at my house, and she even told him she was here...so later on she leaves, and the next day i get an email from her saying that it was a mistake and that she doesnt want nothing from me...imagine how that made me feel??? i was crushed..for the whole week i was dying inside..this was 2 weeks ago..then this week, she calls me again, and comes over, ends up staying at my house from the early morning till night time, we had sex a bunch of times and we even had the boyfriend and girlfriend thing going on..then she goes home...the next day calls me in the morning and asks me to go eat with her, so i do, and we end up going shopping together, she tells me she broke it off with that guy cause he acts like her father...while we were shopping her mom called her and asked what she was doing, so my ex told her mom she was with me, and her mom told her to stay away from me...so whatever we shopped she went home and went out..so on sunday, so i called her on monday and asked her stuff u know, and she said, dont get false hope, we are not going to be together..that is so wrong, now im sitting here sad again because she decided to come into my life for a few days and walk away..what should i do?????anyone:(
AtarisKid Posted November 2, 2005 Posted November 2, 2005 Dont even bother with her any more man, shes playing with your head, getting your hopes up and then letting you down, just end it all together, I know how you feel man, i just got out of a serious relationship and i thought that she was the "one" then she went off to college to find herself, totally leaving me and my feeling behind like it didint matter theres so many better girls out there that wont treat you like that, i feel there is somebody for everyone. just get on with your life, things always work out for the best
omegaRED Posted November 3, 2005 Posted November 3, 2005 Man, listen. NC all the way. She doesn`t love you. She came back to you because things with her current ex were not that great as she imagined they would be. So now she`s just using you, knows you still love her, and she controls you. I`m going to be blunt: SHE DOESNT LOVE YOU. I don`t know if she ever did (don`t confuse infatuation and having a good time with "love"), but it`s clear that now, she doesn`t. She`s just playing with you. You NEED to walk away. You don`t deserve this. I was beating myself up over something i said to my ex that "hurt" her, yet, after i saw her with an older colleague of hers a couple of days ago, i KNOW that her playing hurt was just an excuse to place all the guilt on me and for her to have a "clear conscience", and she`s been having a good time with him since god knows when. Do not, i repeat, do not feel like you did all the wrong. Yes, we all make mistakes. People who really love eachother forgive those mistakes. (But if you`re like me, you can`t forgive cheating and lying about it and making YOU take all the blame just so they don`t have to feel like they made a mistake and hurt you in the worst way imaginable). Whatever the reasons for the breakup, the past is the past. She may have loved you, but she doesn`t now. GIVE IT UP. It will never, EVER work. Cut your losses, and move on. Don`t beat yourself up over what you may have done wrong. Learn about yourself, improve and don`t make the same mistake again. That`s the only smart thing to do. Don`t let guilt eat you up. Take a step back, and after 3-4 weeks of NC take a look at her and your relationship. I guarantee you, you`ll see that she`s not the flawless, perfect person you WANTED her to be, or she WANTED to appear, and maybe you weren`t all that happy in that relationship. But you need to look at that from a distance. Therefore, NC at all costs, move on and heal. Good luck bro. We`re all in the same boat.
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