Sun Seeker Posted July 20, 2021 Posted July 20, 2021 I think through experience, lists can change. 1. No kids. My first love had a child and I told myself never again. I'm not raising anyone else's kid, only mine, when the time comes to have my own. 2. Loyal and not an attention seeker. If you are with me, then I am your boyfriend, lover, best (male) friend and everything else. I'm enough, no need for orbiters or exes etc. Want to stay friends with your ex, or let another guy buy you a drink in a bar if you are with me? We are not happening. 3. Curves in the right places, or at least have chubby genes. Nothing more unattractive to me than a slim woman, with no ass and no love handles to hold on to. 4. Matching high sex drive. Needs to be a daily thing more often than not, so we are both satisfied. 5. Speak at least one foreign language/have a background from another country. Every single girlfriend I have ever had has always had this. I love my exotic women. If they only speak English (boringggg) then it means I don't have any new language to learn, which is not good. If they at least have a family in a far away country that we can visit then it can still work. 2
Author Kai_Kai Posted July 20, 2021 Author Posted July 20, 2021 2 minutes ago, Punterxx said: I think through experience, lists can change. 1. No kids. My first love had a child and I told myself never again. I'm not raising anyone else's kid, only mine, when the time comes to have my own. 2. Loyal and not an attention seeker. If you are with me, then I am your boyfriend, lover, best (male) friend and everything else. I'm enough, no need for orbiters or exes etc. Want to stay friends with your ex, or let another guy buy you a drink in a bar if you are with me? We are not happening. 3. Curves in the right places, or at least have chubby genes. Nothing more unattractive to me than a slim woman, with no ass and no love handles to hold on to. 4. Matching high sex drive. Needs to be a daily thing more often than not, so we are both satisfied. 5. Speak at least one foreign language/have a background from another country. Every single girlfriend I have ever had has always had this. I love my exotic women. If they only speak English (boringggg) then it means I don't have any new language to learn, which is not good. If they at least have a family in a far away country that we can visit then it can still work. Oooo interesting. As someone with some guy friends since childhood, my bf hasn't bat an eye when I go out with a group of my friends.Do you not think a girl and a guy can not solely be platonic?
poppyfields Posted July 20, 2021 Posted July 20, 2021 (edited) 30 minutes ago, Kai_Kai said: Oooo interesting. As someone with some guy friends since childhood, my bf hasn't bat an eye when I go out with a group of my friends.Do you not think a girl and a guy can not solely be platonic? I can't speak for Punterxx but I suspect that's precisely how he feels. Many people feel same and have a "no friends with ex's" policy, it's not uncommon. I used to as well, it was definitely high on my list! But since then, I have become platonic friends with one of my ex's, not like a BFF, but we keep in touch from time to time and help each other out when needed and my boyfriend isn't around or unable to help in the way that's needed at the time. So my attitude about it has become a bit more flexible. Edited July 20, 2021 by poppyfields 1
poppyfields Posted July 20, 2021 Posted July 20, 2021 (edited) 50 minutes ago, Punterxx said: 2. Loyal and not an attention seeker. If you are with me, then I am your boyfriend, lover, best (male) friend and everything else. I'm enough, no need for orbiters or exes etc. Want to stay friends with your ex, or let another guy buy you a drink in a bar if you are with me? We are not happening. @Punterxx, I respect your feelings about this, but one thing I don't agree with is assuming that just because a woman has a male friend, 100% platonic, she won't be loyal to you and is deemed an "attention seeker." Couldn't you befriend him also? Like I said, I have a male friend who I happened to have dated for a few months, but that does NOT mean I won't be loyal to my boyfriend and out there "seeking attention." In fact the opposite, I am extremely loyal, don't flirt with men or otherwise out there intentionally soliciting attention from men when in a RL. That is a huge assumption, and you know what they say about "assuming".... EDIT: However, if you mean taking a bunch of selfies and splashing them all over IG or SM or out flirting with men at bars, or even just out and about, I agree with you. That would be a big next for me, if I were a man. Edited July 20, 2021 by poppyfields 1
cleverusername Posted July 20, 2021 Posted July 20, 2021 (edited) 1. Communication 2. Empathy 3. Honesty 4. Positivity 5. Soft lips Edited July 20, 2021 by cleverusername 2
Alpacalia Posted July 20, 2021 Posted July 20, 2021 18 hours ago, Kai_Kai said: I feel like some people are too quick to forgive a cheater especially if they've been in a long relationship. For me, I wouldn't care if I was married for 20 years, if you cheat good bye. It's a complete violation of trust. In my mind, if you cheat that is a guy's way of saying its over and moved on to someone else. Yes. I feel it's not possible to be so quick to forgive without working through the anger and hurt that results from being cheated on. It's almost like saying "I just want the pain to go away."
cleverusername Posted July 20, 2021 Posted July 20, 2021 1 minute ago, Alpaca said: Yes. I feel it's not possible to be so quick to forgive without working through the anger and hurt that results from being cheated on. It's almost like saying "I just want the pain to go away." Cheating is unrecoverable. Once that trust is lost, it will always be in the back of your mind. Do you really want to live with that? Cheating is a conscious and selfish decision.... 2
poppyfields Posted July 20, 2021 Posted July 20, 2021 (edited) 7 minutes ago, cleverusername said: Cheating is unrecoverable. Once that trust is lost, it will always be in the back of your mind. Do you really want to live with that? Cheating is a conscious and selfish decision.... So I have heard (and read) this too. That cheating can sometimes strengthen the RL or marriage IF the couple seeks counseling and learns to understand why the cheating occurred in the first place and takes appropriate steps to resolve whatever the issues were and learns what steps to take to rebuild the trust. It's not always just one person who caused the cheating, although sometimes it is. But both people who contributed to the demise that resulted in one or both stepping out. I believe I previously said for me, I might be able to forgive and trust again if my partner was remorseful, owned his shyt and I owned mine and all of the above occurred. A bit of an unconventional approach. Edited July 20, 2021 by poppyfields 1
Wiseman2 Posted July 20, 2021 Posted July 20, 2021 1.Drinks like a fish. 2.Posts selfies of buttocks on social media all day. 3.Keys people's cars when upset. 4.Talks a mile a minute in one syllable words. 5.Make me drink green slime. 2 1
Alpacalia Posted July 20, 2021 Posted July 20, 2021 1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said: 1.Drinks like a fish. 2.Posts selfies of buttocks on social media all day. 3.Keys people's cars when upset. 4.Talks a mile a minute in one syllable words. 5.Make me drink green slime. This should be on a post-it note. 1
basil67 Posted July 20, 2021 Posted July 20, 2021 47 minutes ago, poppyfields said: So I have heard (and read) this too. That cheating can sometimes strengthen the RL or marriage IF the couple seeks counseling and learns to understand why the cheating occurred in the first place and takes appropriate steps to resolve whatever the issues were and learns what steps to take to rebuild the trust. It's not always just one person who caused the cheating, although sometimes it is. But both people who contributed to the demise that resulted in one or both stepping out. I believe I previously said for me, I might be able to forgive and trust again if my partner was remorseful, owned his shyt and I owned mine and all of the above occurred. A bit of an unconventional approach. I don't think it's unconventional and it wouldn't be an automatic deal breaker for me either. I think that it's more likely that those who are unwilling to forgive are a bit more vocal than those of us who are not unwilling. I have views on all this stuff, but I rarely visit the cheating boards... 1 1
poppyfields Posted July 20, 2021 Posted July 20, 2021 11 minutes ago, basil67 said: I don't think it's unconventional and it wouldn't be an automatic deal breaker for me either. I think that it's more likely that those who are unwilling to forgive are a bit more vocal than those of us who are not unwilling. I have views on all this stuff, but I rarely visit the cheating boards... Yeah I don't EVER visit the cheating boards either, I never thought about why until now and I think perhaps you are correct. 2
Allupinnit Posted July 20, 2021 Posted July 20, 2021 Honesty Spirituality Financial security Gentle demeanor Sexual 2
Miss Spider Posted July 20, 2021 Posted July 20, 2021 (edited) 17 minutes ago, Allupinnit said: Sexual Good one. I thought about it more and surprised this wouldn’t have been on more lists. I think ‘freaky’ might be in top five, but it’s definitely non-negotiable haha. I couldn’t stand a vanilla dude who always wanted to do slow, romantic missionary all the time. GTFO of here with that xD Compatibility in all aspects is important Edited July 20, 2021 by Cookiesandough 3
Alpacalia Posted July 21, 2021 Posted July 21, 2021 3 hours ago, cleverusername said: Cheating is unrecoverable. Once that trust is lost, it will always be in the back of your mind. Do you really want to live with that? Cheating is a conscious and selfish decision.... No, I wouldn't want to live with that. It would be like a festering heap of cow manure with giant red roses painted on it. 3
Author Kai_Kai Posted July 21, 2021 Author Posted July 21, 2021 16 hours ago, poppyfields said: I can't speak for Punterxx but I suspect that's precisely how he feels. Many people feel same and have a "no friends with ex's" policy, it's not uncommon. I used to as well, it was definitely high on my list! But since then, I have become platonic friends with one of my ex's, not like a BFF, but we keep in touch from time to time and help each other out when needed and my boyfriend isn't around or unable to help in the way that's needed at the time. So my attitude about it has become a bit more flexible. Hmm interesting. I can just speak for my own experiences. And say with my ex, he was very insecure and would freak out if I even attempted to go out with a group of friends that may include one guy. It was terrible because it felt like he didn't trust me. Even if you don't trust the "guy" trust that I respect you not only as a boyfriend, but as a person to not cheat or do anything that would cross the line. On the other hand, my current boyfriend is the complete opposite. I always extend an invite to him if I do go out, but sometimes he just says go have fun with your friends with no third degree afterwards
Author Kai_Kai Posted July 21, 2021 Author Posted July 21, 2021 15 hours ago, poppyfields said: So I have heard (and read) this too. That cheating can sometimes strengthen the RL or marriage IF the couple seeks counseling and learns to understand why the cheating occurred in the first place and takes appropriate steps to resolve whatever the issues were and learns what steps to take to rebuild the trust. It's not always just one person who caused the cheating, although sometimes it is. But both people who contributed to the demise that resulted in one or both stepping out. I believe I previously said for me, I might be able to forgive and trust again if my partner was remorseful, owned his shyt and I owned mine and all of the above occurred. A bit of an unconventional approach. I don't think that approach is unconventional at all, it is almost the norm. People are willing to make a effort before dropping a 5+ year relationship like a hot potato especially if they're married. I on the other hand, will gladly drop a relationship if any cheating is involved, but that's just me. I can't be with anyone that makes a conscientious decision to cheat and thinks I'm sorry lets do therapy will resolve the issue. If we had relationship problems prior to cheating, that was their opportunity to discuss the issues. Not just let it build up until explosion and then step out on the relationship, that shows poor cooping skills, poor communication, and untrustworthiness. All qualities that are a big no no in my book #byebye. 3
Author Kai_Kai Posted July 21, 2021 Author Posted July 21, 2021 15 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: 1.Drinks like a fish. 2.Posts selfies of buttocks on social media all day. 3.Keys people's cars when upset. 4.Talks a mile a minute in one syllable words. 5.Make me drink green slime. LMAOOO you're one in a million. 1
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