Kara3000 Posted July 19, 2021 Posted July 19, 2021 Hey guys, I've been with my boyfriend for more that 3 years now. When we first started dating, things were so good. He was constantly putting in effort to make me feel good. He would buy me things, ask to spend time with me, and everything else. He was kind to me and made me feel loved and special and like the only one he saw. Lately, his effort has been really inconsistent. We went through a couple rough patches due to COVID, but he says that he doesn't feel the same anymore. He doesn't have that want to make me smile anymore. Things just feel different now, and I don't know why and we don't know what to do. He says he feels like he doesn't know himself anymore. He said he used to get joy from making things for me and doing things for me, but nowadays he just feels nothing. Please help if you can. I would really appreciate it because I am so lost and confused. Thank you!
stillafool Posted July 19, 2021 Posted July 19, 2021 It sounds like a break is coming your way. You talk about all he use to do for you but what were you doing for him to make him feel special?
ExpatInItaly Posted July 19, 2021 Posted July 19, 2021 7 hours ago, Kara3000 said: We went through a couple rough patches due to COVID, but he says that he doesn't feel the same anymore What were these rough patches about?
Fletch Lives Posted July 19, 2021 Posted July 19, 2021 He's changed. What this really means is that his love level for you has fallen. You have to find out what's missing. Were there things you did for him in the beginning that stopped? Things like romance, trust, respect, sex, affection, domestic support, recreational support, your appearance? If you can find what's now missing and work on it, it might turn things around for you. Counseling might help. But if he's young - some young people are not ready for love. 1
Wiseman2 Posted July 19, 2021 Posted July 19, 2021 Sorry this is happening. How old is he? Do you live together? Unfortunately he's presenting the "it's me not you" explanation for the breakup. What were the arguments about?
smackie9 Posted July 19, 2021 Posted July 19, 2021 Sounds like he has depression. Get him to pay a visit to his doctor.
Wiseman2 Posted July 19, 2021 Posted July 19, 2021 22 minutes ago, smackie9 said: Get him to..... Of course this never works and it's his call whether to get help, however it sounds like an exit excuse because he just wants out due to "rough patches". 1
Miss Spider Posted July 19, 2021 Posted July 19, 2021 (edited) 15 hours ago, Kara3000 said: He doesn't have that want to make me smile anymore. Ummm he actually said that? You should be like, “well let me help you out with that then” and dump him… Edited July 19, 2021 by Cookiesandough
smackie9 Posted July 19, 2021 Posted July 19, 2021 The OP needs to make him talk, and ask the hard question if he wants to end the relationship or is he asking for help. 1
Calmandfocused Posted July 19, 2021 Posted July 19, 2021 Sounds to me like the relationship has run it’s course. It’s fizzled out.Done! Finito! You can’t revive what’s already been dead for sometime. Put you both out of your misery and move on to pastures new. 1
Miss Spider Posted July 19, 2021 Posted July 19, 2021 34 minutes ago, smackie9 said: The OP needs to make him talk, and ask the hard question if he wants to end the relationship or is he asking for help. You forgot people don’t here don’t communicate with their so’s. They either stick a fork in it at the first sign of adversity or play manipulative cold shoulder games to get them wondering. You’re like one of the only people in a functional Rship here, Smackie.
Ami1uwant Posted July 19, 2021 Posted July 19, 2021 Kara…Covid has killed many relationships you failed to mention factors like 1 job loss 2 job I security 3 job stress 4 loss or serious illness due to Covid with family/ friends 5 not regularly seeing family and friends 6 not being able to do things he likes, or social groups he has or going to a sporting evrnt 7 can’t go out to a restaurant Or The above things happening g to you affecting how you are … how has this affected your relationship because you see each other 24/7. Loss sex drive? Realize faults in person you didn’t see before?
smackie9 Posted July 19, 2021 Posted July 19, 2021 1 hour ago, Cookiesandough said: You forgot people don’t here don’t communicate with their so’s. They either stick a fork in it at the first sign of adversity or play manipulative cold shoulder games to get them wondering. You’re like one of the only people in a functional Rship here, Smackie. Well you learn a few things when you have been together for over 30 years lol. 1 1
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