Author Classicfiction Posted August 2, 2021 Author Posted August 2, 2021 (edited) 6 hours ago, AnnieB said: I guess what I do expect is that if I’ve stated that I’m looking for a relationship and if the other person is apprehensive that they let me know right away and I would greatly appreciate if they broke it off before we slept together. That would totally earn my respect for them. In my last situationship, I’m not going to lie after the initial full on pursuit he told me he wasn’t available, but then kept coming back many times and ramped up that pursuit, confusing me and confessing all kinds of feelings. What do you do with a man who acts like they love you and want a relationship with you, but have stated once months ago that they are emotionally unavailable. What do I do with that man? When he says, Annie - I have feelings for you. What do you do with them? I personally when I’ve been involved with someone, who said they loved me, and I couldn’t quite get there, I ended those relationships very early on. Personally I’ve known within a month or so whether I wanted to pursue them. So that the men can go and pursue someone else, who they are compatible with. Yep, Ive had that same sh*tship. One too many times lol "Oh I have feelings for you, and you are so beautiful to me, but bla bla bla" Interpretation: "I am desperately pursuing another woman who is making things hard for me, and I need to keep you on the hook to keep stroking my ego." [ ] Edited August 2, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator link to commercial site 2
poppyfields Posted August 2, 2021 Posted August 2, 2021 (edited) AnnieB, I said nothing about entertaining/dating other man while seeing my man casually. Not sure where that assumption came from, not from me. You missed the entire point of my posts, but best of luck. Edited August 2, 2021 by poppyfields
Weezy1973 Posted August 2, 2021 Posted August 2, 2021 30 minutes ago, Classicfiction said: Are we not supposed to learn from our experiences? If my experience has been that men my age tend to use my @ss, and men of a certain level of attractiveness see me as a cheap fling... why would I not make changes to my own behavior and outlook? I’ve mentioned it in other threads but there’s a phenomenon called “Aspirational Dating” (you can Google) and it’s the tendency for people to feel the most attracted to people somewhat (although not extremely) more attractive than themselves. For men, this generally means a lot of “not interested thanks” in one form or another. For women it can mean some men are just not interested, but unfortunately it can also mean some men are just going to see them as potential for sex and not much else. Those men are also chasing women more attractive than themselves for a possible relationship…and so the cycle goes… And when all is said and done, the vast majority of relationships are between people of similar attractiveness levels. So if you were chasing more attractive men and have now broadened your scope to average looking men as well, that indeed might garner you more success. Just keep in mind that generally, at least when it’s concerning looks, someone at the same attractiveness level as ourselves probably isn’t going to make our heart flutter upon a first meet… 1
Author Classicfiction Posted August 2, 2021 Author Posted August 2, 2021 23 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said: I’ve mentioned it in other threads but there’s a phenomenon called “Aspirational Dating” (you can Google) and it’s the tendency for people to feel the most attracted to people somewhat (although not extremely) more attractive than themselves. For men, this generally means a lot of “not interested thanks” in one form or another. For women it can mean some men are just not interested, but unfortunately it can also mean some men are just going to see them as potential for sex and not much else. Those men are also chasing women more attractive than themselves for a possible relationship…and so the cycle goes… And when all is said and done, the vast majority of relationships are between people of similar attractiveness levels. So if you were chasing more attractive men and have now broadened your scope to average looking men as well, that indeed might garner you more success. Just keep in mind that generally, at least when it’s concerning looks, someone at the same attractiveness level as ourselves probably isn’t going to make our heart flutter upon a first meet… Thank you. Thats exactly what Ive been trying to describe. And yes, Ive been taking a look at myself, looking within... and have come to the conclusion that I have been, in fact, doing this. 1
Lisa Posted August 2, 2021 Senior Moderators Posted August 2, 2021 On 7/18/2021 at 6:42 AM, Classicfiction said: Basically, I've felt that the majority of guys I've dated have fit a narcissitic profile. But something else that I've noticed, is that they go on to have what appear to be successful relationships. And these successful relationships, 9 times out of 10 are with women who are either younger than me, more attractive than me or both. What I'm wondering is... could it be possible that I'm perceiving these men as narcissistic because they are not that into me? Note from Moderators: This thread has just had a substantial clean up of conversation which doesn't pertain to the first post in the thread. As a reminder, the topic of conversation relates to the quote above thankyou for your cooperation The LS Moderation Team
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