Bananagirl Posted July 17, 2021 Posted July 17, 2021 There’s a guy at work that I have a crush on. I don’t know him very well yet, since I started this job a few weeks ago and it’s only a summer job. On wednesday we left work together and took the train home, since we were going the same way. On the train he asked me if I knew any good restaurants in the city, since I am born here and he just moved here. I gave him some options, and asked him why he wanted to know. He told me he was going on a Tinder date this weekend. My question is, is this a clear sign that he is not interested in me? I am considering texting him next week to ask how the date went, since I’m not going to work next week. I’m not sure if it’s a good Idea if he’s definitely not interested.
d0nnivain Posted July 17, 2021 Posted July 17, 2021 Do NOT text him to ask how his date went. He asked you because he values your opinion & thinks you are wise but no he is not interested in dating you. Sorry. If he likes you that way he would never tell you he was going out with somebody else. 2
glows Posted July 17, 2021 Posted July 17, 2021 A lot of people don't automatically think of dating their coworkers. He might not have thought of you in that way. I would not think of it as a big deal if you texted him but who cares about his Tinder date. The Tinder date is not competition if you're interested and want to see him outside of work. Ask him out for a drink and see how you both get along. I wouldn't overthink this this early. 2
stillafool Posted July 17, 2021 Posted July 17, 2021 6 minutes ago, glows said: A lot of people don't automatically think of dating their coworkers. I don't know attraction is attraction where ever you are. Just like OP just started workiing there and is already attracted to him. I think if a guy is attracted to a girl he isn't going to bring up his excitement about an upcoming Tinder date. No don't reach out because you're already in the friendzone. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted July 17, 2021 Posted July 17, 2021 I would not ask him how his date went, no. There's no point. As @d0nnivainsays, it is very unlikely he would have even asked you for a date-spot if he had an interest in you. There's not much here but a friendly colleague, OP. Sucks, but I would keep moving.
glows Posted July 17, 2021 Posted July 17, 2021 1 hour ago, stillafool said: I don't know attraction is attraction where ever you are. Just like OP just started workiing there and is already attracted to him. I think if a guy is attracted to a girl he isn't going to bring up his excitement about an upcoming Tinder date. No don't reach out because you're already in the friendzone. That could be true. Or not. It’s an assumption. Why sit on the sidelines giving out tips for venues when she can find out for herself whether she likes him or not? He may be a complete goof and the crush may fizzle out. Do whatever you like, OP.
poppyfields Posted July 17, 2021 Posted July 17, 2021 1 hour ago, stillafool said: I don't know attraction is attraction where ever you are. Just like OP just started workiing there and is already attracted to him. I think if a guy is attracted to a girl he isn't going to bring up his excitement about an upcoming Tinder date. No don't reach out because you're already in the friendzone. Some people play games though too, if he was unsure of OP's interest and insecure, he may have mentioned the Tinder date as a way to gauge her reaction, possible get her jealous. Not saying that's what happened, but it's a possibility imo. Not everything is always so black and white... 3
stillafool Posted July 17, 2021 Posted July 17, 2021 6 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Some people play games though too, True but I never engaged in those or liked to guess a man's interest. They either had to make it crystal clear with words and actions or I moved on. Too many fish in the sea. However OP, if that is your style to contact him then do you. 1
poppyfields Posted July 17, 2021 Posted July 17, 2021 (edited) 21 minutes ago, stillafool said: True but I never engaged in those or liked to guess a man's interest. They either had to make it crystal clear with words and actions or I moved on. Too many fish in the sea. However OP, if that is your style to contact him then do you. Oh I am not suggesting OP react to it, not at all, I hate those types of "shyt tests" too. I do not respond well to them at all, I always do the opposite of what a man expects. Only that they are not uncommon when someone is insecure, it's a way to find out how the other feels without being direct. Edited July 17, 2021 by poppyfields 2
Wiseman2 Posted July 17, 2021 Posted July 17, 2021 4 hours ago, Bananagirl said: I started this job a few weeks ago and it’s only a summer job. He told me he was going on a Tinder date this weekend. Unfortunately yes, it's a friendly coworker friendzone type question.
Kai_Kai Posted July 17, 2021 Posted July 17, 2021 6 hours ago, Bananagirl said: There’s a guy at work that I have a crush on. I don’t know him very well yet, since I started this job a few weeks ago and it’s only a summer job. On wednesday we left work together and took the train home, since we were going the same way. On the train he asked me if I knew any good restaurants in the city, since I am born here and he just moved here. I gave him some options, and asked him why he wanted to know. He told me he was going on a Tinder date this weekend. My question is, is this a clear sign that he is not interested in me? I am considering texting him next week to ask how the date went, since I’m not going to work next week. I’m not sure if it’s a good Idea if he’s definitely not interested. Don't ask him how the date went...you're going to friend zone yourself. But, it appears that he has already basically friend zoned you. But that's okay, sometimes the best relationships start off as simply "friends" just enjoy his companionship;. 1
babybrowns Posted July 17, 2021 Posted July 17, 2021 OP, if you’re interested in getting to know him more without making it too obvious that you’re interested, perhaps organise something with a few people? Like 3 of you going to an event or something. And then perhaps give the 3rd person a headsup about your crush on this guy so that they “leave early” Will give you a chance to spend time with him and feel out whether there’s any mutual interest there.
Miss Spider Posted July 17, 2021 Posted July 17, 2021 My guess is not interested. Sorry. 1% chance he’s playing some weird long game, but I doubt it 2
Caauug Posted July 18, 2021 Posted July 18, 2021 Friend Zone: There is a difference between a female friend zone and a male's friend zone when it comes to the opposite sex if all persons are straight. Both friend zones serve different purposes. Tinder Date: Don't let that bother you. Unless the date was another bloke.... This might have also be to let you know he is dating and using Tinder, look him up. Texting next week: Why wait that long? You don't have to be a "Pick Me". You were talking on the train, you work with him, you have things in common to talk about, (even if it is work), just expand the conversations in other directions away from work. Look up "Law of Propinquity" and make it work for you. He may never ask you out if you talk to him, but if you are going to be a mouse in the corner I will guarantee, he will leave you in that corner.
smackie9 Posted July 20, 2021 Posted July 20, 2021 How successful are you attracting men? Are you approached all the time? How about the guys you work with? Has anyone asked you out? How are you with getting dates overall? or are you the one that admires from afar and just sits and hopes.
spiderowl Posted July 22, 2021 Posted July 22, 2021 I don't know if this guy has had chance to get to know you yet. He might be interested in you but scared to ask you out or concerned about dating a colleague. He was asking your opinion on something that was rather private, so you are in his good books at least! I suppose he may be thinking he'd see how you reacted to him dating someone else, whether you looked relieved or maybe a little sad about it? Who knows what he's thinking? I don't think him asking you these things rules you out. It actually gave him a chance to speak to you. No harm in asking how his date went but be prepared for if he comes back and tells you it was great and that they are meeting again!
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