So just want to confirm one more time, matching with someone and then talking on the phone for over an hour about

[IntBrowser]

tv shows, food, traveling, music is not the way to give off a romantic vibe?     I have a habit of doing that when I get a woman's number because I always believed a woman needed to feel comfortable to meet me face to face.    So that was my way of breaking the ice and seeing how the conversation flowed.     But now I realized too much chatter

[basil67]

Women are not a monolithic group who all think the same way.  Some women may prefer a bit of chatter before meeting.  Other women will prefer to meet so that they don't waste their time chatting.   You need to read (or ask) how she feels.

[CaliforniaGirl]

Asking her out on a date gives off a romantic vibe.

[IntBrowser]

12 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

Asking her out on a date gives off a romantic vibe.

well i dont normally do that on the 1st phone convo

[basil67]

You could ask her out on the first phone conversation if you wanted to

[poppyfields]

I think if you're talking for an hour, it's OK to ask her out, and might even be welcomed and gasp, expected.

[Miss Spider]

It’s fine but maybe they lose interest after talking to you. Maybe it has nothing to do with when you have the conversation, but the conversation itself.

[IntBrowser]

1 hour ago, poppyfields said:

I think if you're talking for an hour, it's OK to ask her out, and might even be welcomed and gasp, expected.

if I match and its a mon or tues,  I will ask about the coming weekend.     If I match on a saturday or sunday I would mention meeting until the 2nd convo on tue.     I dont want to ask about next weeked and its a week away

[CaliforniaGirl]

1 hour ago, IntBrowser said:

well i dont normally do that on the 1st phone convo

Well then my take would be, this is a guy who kind of wants a bestie. 

[CaliforniaGirl]

27 minutes ago, IntBrowser said:

if I match and its a mon or tues,  I will ask about the coming weekend.     If I match on a saturday or sunday I would mention meeting until the 2nd convo on tue.     I dont want to ask about next weeked and its a week away

Well, you could say "Hey, would you like to go out some time?" and if she said yes you could say, "Great! Let me call you later in the week to see how our schedules are shaping up."

[Ami1uwant]

2 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

well i dont normally do that on the 1st phone convo

I e always done this on the first call if it lasts more than 10 min and it feels like there is a conversation flow.

[glows]

1 hour ago, IntBrowser said:

if I match and its a mon or tues,  I will ask about the coming weekend.     If I match on a saturday or sunday I would mention meeting until the 2nd convo on tue.     I dont want to ask about next weeked and its a week away

Why can't you meet on weekdays after work, for ie, or for lunch or coffee?

 

 

 

[ExpatInItaly]

3 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

well i dont normally do that on the 1st phone convo

This doesn't make sense, but it's reflective of your appert inertia with women. Your previous threads and this one indicate this is a pattern with you. 

If the conversation is going well, suggest a meet-up. 

If you don't start getting off your duff and being more proactive, you're going to continue to struggle with women. 

[Fletch Lives]

It's true, it's better to have a short 10 minute call and talk on the date. Only face to face can you be sure of attraction, so the long phone call could be seen as a waste of time. Plus, you will have more to talk about on the date if you save it for that.

[Wiseman2]

You'll need to get appropriate transportation and some money to plan mutually convenient meetings for coffee.

Yes a few messages or phone calls are fine but stalling with meeting is a red flag .

[introverted1]

Why does the first meet have to be on a weekend?  I would much rather grab a drink or coffee on a week night when I am meeting someone for the first time.  Save the weekend for a proper date.

And an hour on the phone is a lot. I'd venture to say that you know within the first 10 minutes whether you want to meet (and so does she). Not sure why you feel you have to talk for a full hour - that is a really long call! 

 

[Gaeta]

8 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

if I match and its a mon or tues,  I will ask about the coming weekend.     If I match on a saturday or sunday I would mention meeting until the 2nd convo on tue.     I dont want to ask about next weeked and its a week away

Why do you have rules such as this?

I go on a 1st date on any nights of the week. I actually prefer my 1st meetings on a week night so we can have a real date on the coming weekend. The first time meeting is not a real date, it's a  meeting to break the ice, than you have a real date. 

You snooze too much. If you like someone you go for it. 

[Lotsgoingon]

Let's back up here. We're in a time of fast communication. People do not want two conversations before going out to meet someone. And you don't know how to flirt, so most likely you're only putting yourself in the friendzone because the conversation is boring. The woman will be confused, unsure if you like her or not. 

Cut the nonsense and call to just set up a meeting.  Ten minute conversation to set up the meetup. That's it. Nobody want to talk long conversations on the phone these days (if they ever did). The only time people want long conversations is AFTER they've begun seriously dating.

Don't worry about making the woman "comfortable." Just don't be a psychopath. Do you have murderous tendencies? Violent tendencies? If no, don't worry about that.

Just hey hi, refer to a piece of information in her profile, let yourself sound enthusiastic about meeting up, and boom set up the date. 

 

[IntBrowser]

12 hours ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

Well, you could say "Hey, would you like to go out some time?" and if she said yes you could say, "Great! Let me call you later in the week to see how our schedules are shaping up."

sounds good

[IntBrowser]

10 hours ago, glows said:

Why can't you meet on weekdays after work, for ie, or for lunch or coffee?

 

 

 

Thought a date was about being relaxed and comfortable. not meeting someone with my work clothes on,    Unless u are saying not right after work but meeting that same evening which would allow me to come home and change

[IntBrowser]

4 hours ago, introverted1 said:

Why does the first meet have to be on a weekend?  I would much rather grab a drink or coffee on a week night when I am meeting someone for the first time.  Save the weekend for a proper date.

And an hour on the phone is a lot. I'd venture to say that you know within the first 10 minutes whether you want to meet (and so does she). Not sure why you feel you have to talk for a full hour - that is a really long call! 

 

I was told coffee dates dont normally lead to intimacy or sexual attraction since the sun is still out of  lol

[poppyfields]

10 minutes ago, IntBrowser said:

I was told coffee dates dont normally lead to intimacy or sexual attraction since the sun is still out of  lol

Hogwash.

The man I'm seeing now and I met IRL while having breakfast, and felt an immediate attraction! 

 

[introverted1]

10 minutes ago, IntBrowser said:

I was told coffee dates dont normally lead to intimacy or sexual attraction since the sun is still out of  lol

I said "drink or coffee" so if you prefer drinks, make it that.

Personally, I have no issue with coffee dates but I understand that LSers are split on this idea. For me, if there's chemistry/vibe, it'll be there regardless where we meet. The key is to do what you are comfortable with.

[elaine567]

1 hour ago, IntBrowser said:

I was told coffee dates dont normally lead to intimacy or sexual attraction since the sun is still out of  lol

Guys who want first date sex tend to organise late in the day dates that include drinking alcohol in order to get women into bed...
Poppy is correct, if a guy is attractive to a woman, the timing of the date is immaterial.

[IntBrowser]

2 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

Guys who want first date sex tend to organise late in the day dates that include drinking alcohol in order to get women into bed...
Poppy is correct, if a guy is attractive to a woman, the timing of the date is immaterial.

its been times I matched on a saturday and definitely didnt want to suggest meeting that same weekend which I thought would give off the vibe I have no options.      So I would talk on saturday and then when I talk again after the weekend i will bring up meeting