stillafool Posted July 19, 2021 Posted July 19, 2021 On 7/17/2021 at 3:20 PM, Emma B said: Good Point but I'm way pass the early 20's stage lol. Maybe it's my area but even people in there mid to late 20's are still playing around. Even guys in their 30's are still looking to "hook up". 30's is still young and is the new 20's sooooo. I think I'm just going to let the chips fall where they may. No it's not just in your area it's everywhere that men who are single and not in a relationship are trying to hook up (women too) regardless of age. I agree that 30's is still young but not that 20's are the new 30's. That would mean 10 year olds are the new unborns LOL. I think you're smart to just continue your studies and let the chips fall where they may. 1
Miss Spider Posted July 19, 2021 Posted July 19, 2021 (edited) ^ No lie. Not saying there aren’t plenty of good ones, but lot of these men in their 30s be out here like children these days( tbh the women to an extent too) and are no better than they were in their 20s. In the pub/club all the time, living with roomies or in their mom’s basement, smoking grass and playing Nintendo switch games with their boys all weekend, & wanting hookups etc etc. I’ve heard plenty of stories Don’t be fooled. Maybe >45 They might still be bad, but people are growing up a lot slower these days in the western world, in general Edited July 19, 2021 by Cookiesandough Voice to text always messing my grammar 2
Author Emma B Posted July 19, 2021 Author Posted July 19, 2021 6 hours ago, stillafool said: No it's not just in your area it's everywhere that men who are single and not in a relationship are trying to hook up (women too) regardless of age. I agree that 30's is still young but not that 20's are the new 30's. That would mean 10 year olds are the new unborns LOL. I think you're smart to just continue your studies and let the chips fall where they may. That's a saying, 30's is the new 20's. pretty much meaning that being in your 30's is similar to being in your 20's except your live is probably more together...what ever the hell that means lol. 1
Author Emma B Posted July 19, 2021 Author Posted July 19, 2021 5 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: ^ No lie. Not saying there aren’t plenty of good ones, but lot of these men in their 30s be out here like children these days( tbh the women to an extent too) and are no better than they were in their 20s. In the pub/club all the time, living with roomies or in their mom’s basement, smoking grass and playing Nintendo switch games with their boys all weekend, & wanting hookups etc etc. I’ve heard plenty of stories Don’t be fooled. Maybe >45 They might still be bad, but people are growing up a lot slower these days in the western world, in general Preach! I was smh while i was reading this whole post because it's so true! That's why i want to give up soon 1
Miss Spider Posted July 19, 2021 Posted July 19, 2021 2 minutes ago, Emma B said: That's a saying, 30's is the new 20's. That’s just what we 30-yo say to make ourselves feel better about not having made any progress in a decade. 2
Miss Spider Posted July 19, 2021 Posted July 19, 2021 (edited) 14 minutes ago, Emma B said: Preach! I was smh while i was reading this whole post because it's so true! That's why i want to give up soon Nah! Never give up! There are a lot of good guys out there. 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, and beyond . I second the advice to chill with the online and focus more getting more into your community and people who share mutual interest in what you’re into Irl . Nothing that wrong with online people, but historically I’ve pulled more better matches the other way Edited July 19, 2021 by Cookiesandough
Weezy1973 Posted July 19, 2021 Posted July 19, 2021 12 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: That’s just what we 30-yo say to make ourselves feel better about not having made any progress in a decade. The reason is people aren’t having families until their 30s and often not until their mid-30s. That’s what suddenly creates a sense of responsibility and growing up. For most… 1
Miss Spider Posted July 19, 2021 Posted July 19, 2021 By that theory, I’m never going to have to grow up or be responsible. Yay! 1
Author Emma B Posted July 20, 2021 Author Posted July 20, 2021 10 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: Nah! Never give up! There are a lot of good guys out there. 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, and beyond . I second the advice to chill with the online and focus more getting more into your community and people who share mutual interest in what you’re into Irl . Nothing that wrong with online people, but historically I’ve pulled more better matches the other way That's true i believe that to usually, but i guess these online dating apps have left me jaded now. It's funny cause in the past that's how I got all of my past relationships...but now? a mess so yeah I'm just going to focus on me and hopefully the right person will come along. 1
Andy_K Posted July 20, 2021 Posted July 20, 2021 34 minutes ago, Emma B said: That's true i believe that to usually, but i guess these online dating apps have left me jaded now. It's funny cause in the past that's how I got all of my past relationships...but now? a mess so yeah I'm just going to focus on me and hopefully the right person will come along. Most of my relationships came from online too, but in the last few years since dating apps really took off, I've found the quality has gone way down. It's much harder than it used to be. More flakes, more cancellations, more people that just plain stop replying to you. Still, it's kind of a first world problem so don't sweat it 3
Miss Spider Posted July 20, 2021 Posted July 20, 2021 (edited) 7 hours ago, Andy_K said: Most of my relationships came from online too, but in the last few years since dating apps really took off, I've found the quality has gone way down. It's much harder than it used to be. More flakes, more cancellations, more people that just plain stop replying to you. Still, it's kind of a first world problem so don't sweat it You’re quality, Andy_KSo if you’re on there and your profile pics is anything reminiscent of your profile pic here and you’re not having luck anymore , they probably are starting to suck Edited July 20, 2021 by Cookiesandough 2
Andy_K Posted July 20, 2021 Posted July 20, 2021 56 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: You’re quality, Andy_KSo if you’re on there and your profile pics is anything reminiscent of your profile pic here and you’re not having luck anymore , they probably are starting to suck Thanks! I imagine a lot of it is that I'm now 38, I mostly date a few years younger and there just aren't so many fish in the pool. 1
cleverusername Posted July 20, 2021 Posted July 20, 2021 I don't understand why people are in such a hurry to get into relationships these days...... yes there is a biological clock but beyond that, really no rush. Seems like people these days are just afraid of being alone. 1
Author Emma B Posted July 20, 2021 Author Posted July 20, 2021 2 hours ago, cleverusername said: I don't understand why people are in such a hurry to get into relationships these days...... yes there is a biological clock but beyond that, really no rush. Seems like people these days are just afraid of being alone. Lol yeah people don't want to be alone. I never said I wanted to be in a relationship, I just said I want to date but it seems like all guys want to do is hide the salami
cleverusername Posted July 20, 2021 Posted July 20, 2021 35 minutes ago, Emma B said: Lol yeah people don't want to be alone. I never said I wanted to be in a relationship, I just said I want to date but it seems like all guys want to do is hide the salami Well what do you tell them you're looking for?
Author Emma B Posted July 20, 2021 Author Posted July 20, 2021 17 minutes ago, cleverusername said: Well what do you tell them you're looking for? To date and see where it goes....they say okay but some of them will still try to invite me to their house anyways!
Miss Spider Posted July 20, 2021 Posted July 20, 2021 (edited) 18 minutes ago, Emma B said: To date and see where it goes....they say okay but some of them will still try to invite me to their house anyways! Don’t knock the house date when you’re ready though. Guys have invited me over to their house and most of the time nothing happens except maybe kiss I fr had a guy invite me over to his house for a second date and we walked his dogs, blazed and chilled on the porch, kissed, and then he tells me he wanted to wait to have sex lol. t I was like I get that, I like to have established more of a connection before that too but I was kind of confused at the time so I called it/our 3rd date off. Big regrets now bc he was cool/hot asf. Then he got a job in another city and he moved. We hit each other up here and there. I recently saw he’s back in town and still looking good haha. Hoping we run into each other again Bc I wouldn’t mind.. Sorry, I digress. My point is dont knock the home date necessarily, but you definitely want them to show effort with ‘real’ dates too. Edited July 20, 2021 by Cookiesandough
cleverusername Posted July 20, 2021 Posted July 20, 2021 24 minutes ago, Emma B said: To date and see where it goes....they say okay but some of them will still try to invite me to their house anyways! Guy here, tell them you're looking for a monogamous relationship..... because you are right? At some point if the right person comes you will want to be in a relationship, that's what your looking for so it's not lying. If you want to break it off, they aren't the right person. Any ambiguity here and guys will look to exploit it (talking as a guy). This will filter out all the dudes looking for casual sex and unwilling to put in the work or time with you. If you're fine with the way it is now, you can just keep saying the "see where it goes line". Totally up to you. Just trying to save you some trouble. 1
Author Emma B Posted July 21, 2021 Author Posted July 21, 2021 6 hours ago, cleverusername said: Guy here, tell them you're looking for a monogamous relationship..... because you are right? At some point if the right person comes you will want to be in a relationship, that's what your looking for so it's not lying. If you want to break it off, they aren't the right person. Any ambiguity here and guys will look to exploit it (talking as a guy). This will filter out all the dudes looking for casual sex and unwilling to put in the work or time with you. If you're fine with the way it is now, you can just keep saying the "see where it goes line". Totally up to you. Just trying to save you some trouble. Okay. I guess I will start telling them I'm looking for something serious then...but like I don't even think I'm ready for that. I guess my last breakup really messed me up smh.
stillafool Posted July 21, 2021 Posted July 21, 2021 (edited) 11 hours ago, Emma B said: Okay. I guess I will start telling them I'm looking for something serious then...but like I don't even think I'm ready for that. I guess my last breakup really messed me up smh. Maybe you just aren't ready to date and that is okay. Why do you feel you have to date if you aren't ready for it? Men are going to want sex and a lot of women are just as horny and want it too and let it be known. That is one reason why guys are now just jumping right to it unless they see relationship material right from the start. There's no hurry to get involved with all of that if you aren't ready. Edited July 21, 2021 by stillafool 1
Author Emma B Posted July 21, 2021 Author Posted July 21, 2021 2 hours ago, stillafool said: Maybe you just aren't ready to date and that is okay. Why do you feel you have to date if you aren't ready for it? Men are going to want sex and a lot of women are just as horny and want it too and let it be known. That is one reason why guys are now just jumping right to it unless they see relationship material right from the start. There's no hurry to get involved with all of that if you aren't ready. I thought I was ready, it's going to be a year since I broke up with my ex. But after that date last night I don't know anymore. Normally i bounce back from break ups so quick but not this time it seems. Also i know guys are going to want to sex and that's fine as long they don't expect that from me. Especially without getting to know me first. 1
stillafool Posted July 21, 2021 Posted July 21, 2021 1 minute ago, Emma B said: I thought I was ready, it's going to be a year since I broke up with my ex. Yeah it's hard after a major break up. No rush, just give yourself time. 2
Kai_Kai Posted July 21, 2021 Posted July 21, 2021 8 minutes ago, stillafool said: Yeah it's hard after a major break up. No rush, just give yourself time. ^^^This! Maybe its just not your time as of yet. 1
Author Emma B Posted July 21, 2021 Author Posted July 21, 2021 1 hour ago, Kai_Kai said: ^^^This! Maybe its just not your time as of yet. Yeah that's probably true. I don't think I'm going to go on anymore dates anymore.
cleverusername Posted July 21, 2021 Posted July 21, 2021 1 hour ago, Emma B said: Yeah that's probably true. I don't think I'm going to go on anymore dates anymore. Focus on having fun! Coming out a year and a half of COVID, go out and make up for some of that lost time! Do the things you've had to set aside! Enjoy yourself! There will always be guys out there lol 4 1
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