IntBrowser Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 This is the girl who I thought was interested in more than friends since she asked me................Are you back from vacation yet? And when on vacation..........."how are you enjoying your vacation? Well none of the means nothing because I called her last night and suggested that me and her go to the restaurant she wants me to try so bad this saturday and her response was "I HAVE PLANS" Well the fact that she already had plans and didnt say what leads me to believe it was with a guy and basically no reason for me to call back. Up until last night, she never responded that way when I suggested going out. So nothing left for me to do but fade away for good. And on top of it didnt offer a different day. So I will spend the rest of the summer at the casino and once September gets here I will put myself back on the market. 1 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 3 minutes ago, IntBrowser said: This is the girl who I thought was interested in more than friends since she asked me................Are you back from vacation yet? And when on vacation..........."how are you enjoying your vacation? Well none of the means nothing because I called her last night and suggested that me and her go to the restaurant she wants me to try so bad this saturday and her response was "I HAVE PLANS" Well the fact that she already had plans and didnt say what leads me to believe it was with a guy and basically no reason for me to call back. Up until last night, she never responded that way when I suggested going out. So nothing left for me to do but fade away for good. And on top of it didnt offer a different day. So I will spend the rest of the summer at the casino and once September gets here I will put myself back on the market. Aww. But you have plans too...have a fun summer! 2
Author IntBrowser Posted July 14, 2021 Author Posted July 14, 2021 11 minutes ago, divegrl said: Chin up! Onto the next one. What do you play btw? They now have a sports betting section in the casino where you can sit and relax and bet on sports and order food and drinks and watch the games 1
basil67 Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 When she asked you if you're back from vacation, how long did you leave it before responding?
Author IntBrowser Posted July 14, 2021 Author Posted July 14, 2021 11 minutes ago, basil67 said: When she asked you if you're back from vacation, how long did you leave it before responding? I responded with a phone call in 2 days
basil67 Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 Yep, after you not meeting her while you were in her city, and now a two day delay in responding to her message, she's figured that she is a very low priority to you and has moved on. 2 2
Author IntBrowser Posted July 14, 2021 Author Posted July 14, 2021 11 minutes ago, basil67 said: Yep, after you not meeting her while you were in her city, and now a two day delay in responding to her message, she's figured that she is a very low priority to you and has moved on. Then she had the nerve to say "you can still try the restaurant"
basil67 Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 Well, yes. You can still try the restaurant. There's nothing wrong with her having 'nerve' when you're the one who's been so tardy with responses to her and putting her at the bottom of your priority list. She's done nothing wrong at all. Why did it take you two days to respond to her? 4
norealusername Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 I think she got mad because you didn't ask her out at the hotel and you didn't keep in contact. Maybe she'll get over it later if you're lucky. You seem to get matches and dates but you end up blowing it sometimes. 1
Author IntBrowser Posted July 14, 2021 Author Posted July 14, 2021 37 minutes ago, basil67 said: Well, yes. You can still try the restaurant. There's nothing wrong with her having 'nerve' when you're the one who's been so tardy with responses to her and putting her at the bottom of your priority list. She's done nothing wrong at all. Why did it take you two days to respond to her? I thought she wanted us to go there together when she constantly said on the phone........"I think you will like it
Author IntBrowser Posted July 14, 2021 Author Posted July 14, 2021 39 minutes ago, basil67 said: Well, yes. You can still try the restaurant. There's nothing wrong with her having 'nerve' when you're the one who's been so tardy with responses to her and putting her at the bottom of your priority list. She's done nothing wrong at all. Why did it take you two days to respond to her? Returned back to the office and was stressed all week because I am doing a different job now
basil67 Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 27 minutes ago, IntBrowser said: I thought she wanted us to go there together when she constantly said on the phone........"I think you will like it She did want you to go there together, but then you dropped the ball.
Wiseman2 Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 8 hours ago, IntBrowser said: I will spend the rest of the summer at the casino It's over before it started. Now you can do what you want to do.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 We all told you where you went wrong with her in your last thread. You showed way too little interest, and now you're too late. Sorry OP, but you messed this one up and it's no surprise she isn't interested anymore. 3
poppyfields Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 Not sure I buy this notion you messed up @IntBrowser. I don't think her interest was all that high from the beginning, nothing you did or didn't do. When a women's interest is HIGH, no way it's going to drop because a man doesn't call her for two days, not in my experience. I mean people have lives, she shouldn't be a "priority" at this point, and if her interest DID completely drop because she expected to be a priority at this extremely early stage of the game, and you didn't immediately call upon your return, waiting a mere two days because you were exhausted and needed to unwind, you dodged a bullet. Next and enjoy your summer!
elaine567 Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 20 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Not sure I buy this notion you messed up @IntBrowser. I don't think her interest was all that high from the beginning, nothing you did or didn't do. When a women's interest is HIGH, no way it's going to drop because a man doesn't call her for two days, not in my experience. Read the other thread, he went on holiday he found out from this woman she lived about 10 mins from his hotel and she told him there was a lovely restaurant there, Hint hint!. He ignored that huge hint and .continued his holiday without meeting her even, for a quick social polite meet, he then went onto another hotel. Came back, didn't bother contacting her for 2 days, At that point she thought "Complete Waste of my time... forget it." Truth is he was too busy gambling to want to engage with her, even now he has plans to go gambling again for the next month or so, He doesn't want any woman to scupper those plans... he then has the nerve to blame the woman for HER lack of interest...SMH 5
Gaeta Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 (edited) @poppyfieldsThere is muuuuuch more to this story. OP prioritizes gambling over dating in everyone of his encounter. Edited July 14, 2021 by Gaeta 2
poppyfields Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 (edited) 4 hours ago, Gaeta said: @poppyfieldsThere is muuuuuch more to this story. OP prioritizes gambling over dating in everyone of his encounter. Oh yeah forgot about that! I keep mixing @IntBrowserup with @ironpony! Anyway, fair points. BUT, I just read that thread again and something @Calmandfocusedsaid stood out. "Never expect a woman who has only met you once to “treat” you for your birthday. Why should she? She doesn’t know you and she’s under no obligation too. She doesn’t “owe” you anything." Shouldn't that go both ways? They had only had ONE meet after all. @IntBrowsermaybe next time after the meet, simply say you're going on vacay and will be in touch when you return. That you would love to get together again and will plan something fun when you return. After only one meet, just like what @Calmandfocusedsaid (flipping the script), you do not owe her anything and you are not obligated to stay in touch while enjoying a vacation for your birthday. Her expectations were too high after one meet, and IF she dropped you because you failed her "test" and/or did not meet her, imo, unrealistic expectations after one meet, that is not your fault. That said, get a handle on the gambling! JMO and all the best. Edited July 14, 2021 by poppyfields
SumGuy Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 13 hours ago, basil67 said: Yep, after you not meeting her while you were in her city, and now a two day delay in responding to her message, she's figured that she is a very low priority to you and has moved on. Yep, if this is the same girl on the other thread around OP's birthday. @IntBrowserOmitting the relevant details to make it seem like she did you wrong instead of you putting the casino above her, and blowing her off a lot, may get you the answer you want but won't help you any in future dating. IF this is the same woman, you gave her the cold shoulder, you had prime opportunities to ask her out to meet and you just let them drop. She can't read your mind about how you didn't see them or your insecurities that prevented you and your need for her to ask you (and assure you she will pay). You are judging this by your intentions (and honestly some fantasy version of them) while she is judging this by your actions. Your actions at so many turns told her she is unimportant to you that you have low interest in her. IF this is the same scenario, it is not her, it is you...but not unfixable...get better at social cues and expectations, work on your insecurities, and stop letting gambling produce negative consequences in your social life (that is a sign of a problem). 3
glows Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 From your previous threads, maybe a small break is good to reorient and find new perspective and gain energy again for dating or meeting new people. Was there any particular reason you left it for two days? I'd only see this as you not finding her too attractive or not too interested in seeing her again. Maybe she intimidates you or you're not sure overall whether you're at a point you want to date or start anything with someone. That is all fine. I hope that she did not respond like that in capslock. 1
poppyfields Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 (edited) To add to my previous post, It's all about 'entitlement'. His entitlement to be treated, her entitlement to be a priority after ONE meet. How did she even know it was your birthday? Or where your hotel was? Jmo, but no need to be sharing these things during a FIRST MEET. Hell, I had a birthday a couple of weeks ago and I never even told the man I have been dating for a month! It creates expectations and adds unnecessary pressure - for him, "should I buy her a gift? Should I make it "special"? I'm not gonna burden a new man I'm dating with that, or myself if/when he didn't meet an expectation. I stick with my earlier opinion, you do not owe each other anything after one meet. You are still essentially strangers. Next time something like this happens, simply tell her you will be on vacay for the next week, no need to tell her where, and will plan something fun when you return Any woman with high or even medium interest will be cool with that. An entitled woman and/or a woman with little to no interest will use it as an excuse to dump you, just like this woman did. Edited July 14, 2021 by poppyfields
Alpacalia Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 14 hours ago, basil67 said: Yep, after you not meeting her while you were in her city, and now a two day delay in responding to her message, she's figured that she is a very low priority to you and has moved on. Agree. Sounds like she was trying to gauge your interest in meeting by asking about your vacation and when you didn't respond for two days she took it as not interested. Maybe you'll meet a cute girl at the casino. 1
SumGuy Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 3 minutes ago, poppyfields said: ....Simply tell her you will be on vacay for the next week, no need to tell her where, and will plan something fun when you return Any woman with interest will be cool with that. A woman with little to no interest will use it as an excuse to dump you, just like this woman did. Even if he had don't think it is as simple as that. As you say they had one meet, that seemed to go well. Now one can say when on vacay going to have limited to no connectivity, which better be true because the truth will come out. It is a two way street, a person with some interest is going to wonder if he has interest as well. Does he have high interest or little to no interest? A man with high interest will reach out during vacation and won't leave the plane for the next date weeks in the future when he gets back. He will bring it up during vacay and it will be something he looks forward to and that will show by talking and texting about it. A man with little to know interest will just put things on pause, and do little to nothing about meeting again. At worst, he may expect her to wait for him, put her dating life on hold, while he is on vacay and who knows if he is putting his on hold...after all they don't owe each other anything and hooking up on vacay is a thing. Which leads to the inevitable thought, and inevitable response if her story was put on LS: why is he planning dates so close before a weeks long vacay where he will be unreachable? WTF people will say. Sounds entitled people will say. See how he communicates during his vacay but don't wait around for him if he shows low interest...people will say. Assuming she even believes he is going on vacay and it is not just some excuse to keep her waiting. For my money, if she told her story on LS and we read he did not pick up on the hint for a date in her city as the restaurant, the conclusion would be he is lying, married, not in her city, with someone else, etc. Men with any interest just do not let such a hint drop when you are only 10 min away. I really see her reaction to be completely expected and reasonable and not proceeding from any sense of entitlement....just reasonable expectations and reactions based on his level of interest. 3
poppyfields Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 (edited) Well I don't agree, it IS entitlement, they had ONE meet! WTF. For him too, expecting her to "treat" him. Again, why did he mention his birthday, or where the hotel was? After one meet, even when it goes well, I certainly don't expect a man to make me a priority while enjoying a one week vacation. I'd be using that time to assess our meet, deciding if I want to see him again, and if so looking forward to seeing him again when he returns. AND talking to and meeting other men! Girl is entitled OR as I suspect, had very low interest from the beginning... I think it was mutual, @IntBrowserhad low interest as well. Edited July 14, 2021 by poppyfields
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