HazelBliss Posted July 13, 2021 Posted July 13, 2021 I dodged him for a few weeks then decided to respond after coming across one of his old messages. So glad I did because he is awesome to me. He is easy to talk to and our conversations flow beautifully. I like that he is direct and straight forward without being rude. There is a seriousness to his personality with a sense of humor that I can appreciate as I am the same way. We are very different but have similar values and expectations that are important to us such as communication. Based on our conversations I can tell that he has an issue with being right or more logical and doing what makes sense to him UNLESS he sees a better way. That may be a challenge for me but it was nice to have teachable moments with him which showed me that he is willing to learn and not always teach/correct. I'd be a fool to say he is perfect because he is not, neither am I.. but there is a level of respect I have for him that I have never had for anyone else.. and we haven't even physically met yet. We plan to very soon. I love that we are building this foundation before we meet..I just hope and pray that we will have the same vibe and chemistry. Fingers crossed. Did anyone else have a similar experience of feeling a strong connection prior to meeting? Was it the same in person?
glows Posted July 13, 2021 Posted July 13, 2021 Are you worried your expectations won't be met or you won't meet his? Leave a little room for that if that's the case. Being nervous is fine and normal. Did you meet from online dating?
Wiseman2 Posted July 13, 2021 Posted July 13, 2021 17 minutes ago, HazelBliss said: We plan to very soon. Is it a distance situation?
Author HazelBliss Posted July 13, 2021 Author Posted July 13, 2021 15 minutes ago, glows said: Are you worried your expectations won't be met or you won't meet his? Leave a little room for that if that's the case. Being nervous is fine and normal. Did you meet from online dating? We did meet on an app and I am worried for sure because we all put our best forward online so I am just hoping for the best. I have never felt this way before and Ive met a lot of people online and in person.
Author HazelBliss Posted July 13, 2021 Author Posted July 13, 2021 (edited) 25 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Is it a distance situation? It is temporarily. I am moving to Georgia, the state he actually resides in. I been back and forth between FL and GA as I get things situated over there. I have to go there soon for interviews and will meet him then. On the dating app I am on, I decided to change my current location to Georgia just to get a tiny glimpse of what's out there before I make the move. Didn't expect to connect with anyone this fast. I also understand that there is a possibility it won't work out... hoping for the best though Edited July 13, 2021 by HazelBliss 1
glows Posted July 13, 2021 Posted July 13, 2021 It's very good you're moving on your own terms and with your own plans. If this works out it's icing on the cake only. Think of it that way. I'd shift the focus to your interviews and work prospects, let this be something open-ended and to explore on your personal time but don't let it distract you from the move and a new life in Georgia. 2
divegrl Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 That one time I tried online dating, I built a huge emotional connection to a man before physically meeting. We finally met, and it was awful. It was completely different connecting to a person via messaging, then relating and communicating to them in real life. Yet I hope it works out for you. Stay present. Slow down on messages. Meet up as soon as you can. Wishing you the best. 4
Author HazelBliss Posted July 14, 2021 Author Posted July 14, 2021 2 hours ago, glows said: It's very good you're moving on your own terms and with your own plans. If this works out it's icing on the cake only. Think of it that way. I'd shift the focus to your interviews and work prospects, let this be something open-ended and to explore on your personal time but don't let it distract you from the move and a new life in Georgia. Thank you! def taking your advice 1
Author HazelBliss Posted July 14, 2021 Author Posted July 14, 2021 16 minutes ago, divegrl said: That one time I tried online dating, I built a huge emotional connection to a man before physically meeting. We finally met, and it was awful. It was completely different connecting to a person via messaging, then relating and communicating to them in real life. yep and that is what worries me.. what made it awful if u don’t mind? 1
mark clemson Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 Quote I think I found my person and we haven't met yet. Love stories are great and all, but overly high expectations are disappointments waiting to be born. See where you are in 6 months with this person. MAYBE it'll be someplace great... 1
chillii Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 Your obviously well aware in your first post there that in person it could go either way, So good luck with meeting and if you could let us know how it all pans out , be nice to hear about how things went. For us yeah , the second l saw her walk of the plane and our eyes instantly found each other across 500 other people and heads from 20mtrs away. We even got ourselves or l did actually bc l lost the ticket for my car to get out, stuck in the airport later for 1hr30. We laughed and were running all over the place around the airport together to different offices we had to find to fix my ticket situation so that we could get the hell outa there. Would've rattled most but it was like we'd known each other forever , not even a drama we had a ball actually. Ha , but what an intro. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 Just keep your expectations in check, OP. There is no way of knowing if he's your "person" without having met him and spending ample time together in real life. Treat this like any other date - he's someone you chat well with, but you also need to see how well you click offline. 4
poppyfields Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 (edited) 8 hours ago, HazelBliss said: ...and that is what worries me.. what made it awful if u don’t mind Hazel, be aware "on line" energy can be completely different from "in person/real life" energy. Right now there is a certain idealization and fantasy involved in your interaction, how could there not be, you have never met! Idealization and fantasy are powerful but you need to experience each other's 'essence' and 'presence' to get a true sense of your chemistry/energy and that can only happen IN PERSON. Right now you have a mental/emotional connection; recognize and enjoy it for what it is. Have fun with it!! But wait until you meet in person to assess each other's essence and vibe, it could be completely different as what @divegrlexperienced. I have experienced it as well That's what makes it awful, the high you feel connecting on line to the low you feel when meeting in person and the "energy" not being quite the same. That said, many couples have fallen in love on line and when they met, it was even better! So love on line can and does happen! Just be aware that's all, stay grounded, and maybe wait until you meet in person before you begin feeling like he is "your person"? All the best and hope it all works out the way you hope! Edited July 14, 2021 by poppyfields 1
d0nnivain Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 14 hours ago, HazelBliss said: I love that we are building this foundation before we meet..I just hope and pray that we will have the same vibe and chemistry. Fingers crossed. Did anyone else have a similar experience of feeling a strong connection prior to meeting? Was it the same in person? It's never the same in person. There is no real foundation. It's all in your mind. You do not actually know him. Your mind fills in the gaps with stuff it wants. Who he actually is will be vastly different. The more you build this up, the more disappointed you will be when he's different then how you perceive him to be. What you have now is an illusion. It does not become real until after you meet. This is very dangerous because you are going to set yourself up for failure. It feels real. It's exciting. It's fun to have that expectation but it could all very well be an illusion because as you acknowledge people put their best foot forward on line. Who knows how he will be in person? You have no idea how he handles stress. You need to do a much better handle on curbing your enthusiasm before this blows up in your face. The clock on how long you have known each other does not start until you meet. So don't go into that 1st date thinking it's all great because we have been chatting for x months. No. It's a 1st date with a stranger. Period. I do hope it works out but IMO there is more likelihood of that when you come at this from a more balanced, reserved approach rather than this swept away feeling you are currently experiencing. 2
Author HazelBliss Posted July 14, 2021 Author Posted July 14, 2021 28 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: It's never the same in person. There is no real foundation. It's all in your mind. You do not actually know him. Your mind fills in the gaps with stuff it wants. Who he actually is will be vastly different. The more you build this up, the more disappointed you will be when he's different then how you perceive him to be. What you have now is an illusion. It does not become real until after you meet. This is very dangerous because you are going to set yourself up for failure. It feels real. It's exciting. It's fun to have that expectation but it could all very well be an illusion because as you acknowledge people put their best foot forward on line. Who knows how he will be in person? You have no idea how he handles stress. You need to do a much better handle on curbing your enthusiasm before this blows up in your face. The clock on how long you have known each other does not start until you meet. So don't go into that 1st date thinking it's all great because we have been chatting for x months. No. It's a 1st date with a stranger. Period. I do hope it works out but IMO there is more likelihood of that when you come at this from a more balanced, reserved approach rather than this swept away feeling you are currently experiencing. Like I mentioned, there are aspects of his personality so far that may be a challenge for me so I didn’t paint this perfect picture but you stand correct... i don’t know him yet he is still a stranger. I am however excited to meet him. I have my reservations about it even working out hence why i’m nervous but am trying to be positive. I understand what youre saying. i’m gonna keep everyone posted lol 2
d0nnivain Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 Great! Excited is good. If you can keep your emotions in check everything should be OK. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you 1
Gaeta Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 (edited) Do you videocam together? I don't want to rain on your parade but "been there" a couple of times ...and never again. Edited July 14, 2021 by Gaeta 1
Author HazelBliss Posted July 14, 2021 Author Posted July 14, 2021 41 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Do you videocam together? I don't want to rain on your parade but "been there" a couple of times ...and never again. Yes, we FaceTime why do you ask? and why never again?.. DETAILS PLEASE! lol
Author HazelBliss Posted July 14, 2021 Author Posted July 14, 2021 6 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: Just keep your expectations in check, OP. There is no way of knowing if he's your "person" without having met him and spending ample time together in real life. Treat this like any other date - he's someone you chat well with, but you also need to see how well you click offline. very true
Gaeta Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 9 minutes ago, HazelBliss said: Yes, we FaceTime why do you ask? and why never again?.. DETAILS PLEASE! lol For the same reasons @poppyfields & @d0nnivain explained better than I could have. Your brain compensates for the missing information that part is a fantasy. You need to be fully aware of that. ..an issue with being right or more logical : He's stubborn, closed off to other's opinion, you're seeing it already so you can magnify this X 10 in real life. He's suppose to be on his behavior right now he's courting you and he's already stubborn. 5
Wiseman2 Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 2 hours ago, HazelBliss said: i don’t know him yet he is still a stranger. I am however excited to meet him. Can you meet halfway? Better than waiting until you move there, no? 1
glows Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 16 hours ago, Olivia24 said: The thing about him wanting to be right worries me a bit but it might not be anything at all. When you do meet him just be very positive about everything. Hopefully it works out for you!! And give us updates. I have always dated someone i had met or known first. I did have a date once with this guy who i thought was the hottest, sexiest, coolest male God could ever create. Well, he proceeded on a non-stop list of how awesome he is and what he thinks his girl should be like. One date was it. Again, when you meet be very positive about your life and show interest in his. That is a good point.
ShyViolet Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 It is not wise to put such massive expectations on this when you haven't even met yet. You don't know him. Right now you've built up this elaborate fantasy of him in your head and you are letting yourself get carried away prematurely. You have no idea if this guy is "your person." When you meet him for the first time in person you are just finding out if you have chemistry and if you're compatible enough to pursue further dates. Just don't let yourself get so carried away in a fantasy of a guy you haven't even met in person yet, that's not a good idea. A very rookie mistake. 2
vla1120 Posted July 14, 2021 Posted July 14, 2021 20 hours ago, HazelBliss said: Based on our conversations I can tell that he has an issue with being right or more logical and doing what makes sense to him UNLESS he sees a better way. That may be a challenge for me but it was nice to have teachable moments with him which showed me that he is willing to learn and not always teach/correct. This is a red flag, for me. He's on his best behavior right now. Give it some time and keep an open mind and LISTEN to your instincts! 20 hours ago, HazelBliss said: Did anyone else have a similar experience of feeling a strong connection prior to meeting? Was it the same in person? Tomorrow, I'm going to finally meet someone I've been talking to for months. Like you, I have high hopes. I've been scouring through every bit of communication, watching for red flags, but have not yet seen one. I've been burned by online dating (the stories I could tell.....), but for once, I have a bit of hope with this one! I'll let you know on Friday whether there was a connection in person! 2
Author HazelBliss Posted July 14, 2021 Author Posted July 14, 2021 7 hours ago, Gaeta said: For the same reasons @poppyfields & @d0nnivain explained better than I could have. Your brain compensates for the missing information that part is a fantasy. You need to be fully aware of that. ..an issue with being right or more logical : He's stubborn, closed off to other's opinion, you're seeing it already so you can magnify this X 10 in real life. He's suppose to be on his behavior right now he's courting you and he's already stubborn. I find it funny the last guy I dated was also a Sagittarius and 1,000 times worse online and in person. I chose to disregard his personality and it got bad quickly after we met. He was the true definition of blunt-- spoke direct in a rude way. Prior to meeting he would make belittling remarks about my job ( I am a nurse) but then redeem himself.. basically emotionally abusive. I was dumb for even meeting him for sure. It was so bad I made a YT video about it LOL. This guy now is definitely on good behavior for sure thankfully I am not THAT naive and will make better decisions if it turns sour... I appreciate the responses. 1
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