Am I being unreasonable in this situation? or is my mind just playing tricks on me

[Lamron300]

Hi Guys,

I hope you're are well and staying safe. I have a dilemma and maybe I'm not thinking straight so I need an outsiders opinion. 

I've been sick recently, with some kind of viral infection that takes away ALL my energy. Literally I can sleep for hours on end and still feel tired. I'm been given some tablets by the doctors and going to see how that works.

My GF moved in with me in May (we've been together for a year and she also works with me. I have my own business and after many years of her working in a clothes shop, she decided to quit recently and work with me and move in with me. I was bitter about her moving in with me at the time as in December when we were living together during lockdown she said she needed her own space and then when I got angry she took it back and said she didn't mean it that way. I've held a grudge ever since.

Anyway long story short, it is her birthday in a few days and she has gone back to her home country to see her family and friends. Since I've been really ill and running the business myself I feel distant from everyone. I have barely spoken to her since she has been away. I have some sort of anger towards her and I'm not sure if I feel its because I'm the reason she can take a holiday as her old employer wouldn't have allowed her so long off or if I feel that because I'm ill I deserve more attention. I don't want her to feel bad about seeing her family but I also feel neglected somehow. 

I'm worried that by the time she comes back from holiday we would have grown very distant and I will be full of resentment. I'm not sure what to do or if I'm overreacting?

[Wiseman2]

8 minutes ago, Lamron300 said:

I don't want her to feel bad about seeing her family but I also feel neglected somehow. 

It's fine to miss her. Reach out to friends and family for some TLC. She should see her family. She's not your private nurse.

[Gaeta]

You allowed her as her employer to take that longer vacation so being mad at her for using it is king of self centered. 

You need to look into that grudge from last year. It's poisonning your heart and you cannot build something solid on grudges. 

[d0nnivain]

You are resentful about her request for "space" last year. You never let that go & it's been growing & festering ever since.  Now everything she does aggravates you.