ImogenIS Posted July 10, 2021 Share Posted July 10, 2021 Chapter I I have known this guy for twenty years now. We used to meet on business events but even more so every friday/saturday night while out. And so for 10 years very frequently. And even though we have mutual business friends and saw each other quite often we were never introduced to each other. We used to exchange glimpses of each other for years. One night during outing i was passing him on the way to the toilette and he held my hand as in to stop me but i just let go of his hand and continued walking. The truth is that somewhere in the beginning ouf our nonexistent “relationship” three people close to me to some extent might have caught our glimpses and all three of them on different occassions shared something negative about him with me. Two shared something in line on him being full of himself and one shared something about his infidelities in two of his relationships. I never ever asked anybody anything about him. These were the things people shared with me out of the blue. I was 24 then. He was 34. I never went deeper into those stories but formed my opinion and even though we exchanged glipmses as we went to same places I never ever thought of having something with him. Chapter II Years go by, i have a partner, give birth to a baby and on one of my first walks with a baby and partner in my holiday town i see him coming out of the sea. We never ever say hello, just a glimpse. My partner says: the look this man gave you was as though you two know each other well. I just said: we are acquaintances, we know each other from business environment. Since then (for five years now) i keep running into him very very often in this holiday town on different locations or even in other locations close to where we live. He bought a flat here four years ago. Since last year, we started greeting each other now regurarly as we meet that often but just with a hello. He always gives me a smile. I just say hello. I have a new girlfriend here and he is her friend. She never asked anything just once sent me a video of him but i ignored it and did not comment anything on it. Chapter III I have a feeling that during this summer it will happen that we will be in a small group/dinner/party where we will eventually start talking to each other and that cards from all these twenty years will be put on the table. What would you do? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 10, 2021 Share Posted July 10, 2021 5 minutes ago, ImogenIS said: I have a feeling that during this summer it will happen that we will be in a small group/dinner/party where we will eventually start talking to each other and that cards from all these twenty years will be put on the table. What cards, exactly, are you hoping to put on the table? It sounds like you've had a crush for a long time. Aren't you happy with your partner/family? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sun Seeker Posted July 10, 2021 Share Posted July 10, 2021 What cards? That you have been 'glimpsing' at each other for years without talking? Sounds like something I did back in school... Seems like there is nothing to even think about, not sure why you think it's some big deal? Unless you are unhappy in your relationship and want something to happen with this guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImogenIS Posted July 10, 2021 Author Share Posted July 10, 2021 10 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: What cards, exactly, are you hoping to put on the table? It sounds like you've had a crush for a long time. Aren't you happy with your partner/family? I really didn’t have crush for him at any time before. I could have been with him but kept him cold. This feeling of some sort arose three years ago. Out of blue. Maybe after noticing that after all those years of me “ignoring” him he still tries to catch my attention. Lots of small things happened. None worth mentioning. But miniatures now form a picture. I love my partner. Never ever cheated on anybody. I don’t open up opportunities to anybody. I am loyal. But this thing started something inside me..that keeps alerting me..i think about him a lot.. and that is why i am here.. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 10, 2021 Share Posted July 10, 2021 1 minute ago, ImogenIS said: But this thing started something inside me..that keeps alerting me..i think about him a lot.. and that is why i am here.. That's fine. If you need a benign romance novel in your mind to get through the day, it's a good diversion. You're on chapter 3 of your romance novel so just carry on. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted July 10, 2021 Share Posted July 10, 2021 You can consider your crush a pleasant diversion as long as you are willing to keep it in the realm of fiction rather than reality. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 10, 2021 Share Posted July 10, 2021 You say you've been ignoring him for years but I'm not seeing where he was trying to get your attention for anything except being friendly and cordial. If what the others told you about him being full of himself and his infidelities he sounds like the type who would certainly know how to ask a woman out if he were interested. It sounds like you have been carrying a crush for him for 10 years and think he feels the same. I'm not seeing it in what you described and since you have a partner and child it's a good thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImogenIS Posted July 10, 2021 Author Share Posted July 10, 2021 16 minutes ago, stillafool said: You say you've been ignoring him for years but I'm not seeing where he was trying to get your attention for anything except being friendly and cordial. If what the others told you about him being full of himself and his infidelities he sounds like the type who would certainly know how to ask a woman out if he were interested. It sounds like you have been carrying a crush for him for 10 years and think he feels the same. I'm not seeing it in what you described and since you have a partner and child it's a good thing. If you are ignoring somebody to great extent then you don’t give him any chances. You put somebody in place you want him to be and don’t give him the opportunity to move in your direction. Even more so is the message stronger if you share the same business circle. I know what i mean with my words and my actions. I have strong attitude and strict presentation. I haven’t written all important things but it does not matter. I am sure that we will have a chance to talk to each other sometime over this summer and i am actually looking forward to that. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 10, 2021 Share Posted July 10, 2021 7 minutes ago, ImogenIS said: If you are ignoring somebody to great extent then you don’t give him any chances. 1 hour ago, ImogenIS said: Since last year, we started greeting each other now regurarly as we meet that often but just with a hello. He always gives me a smile. I just say hello. This was a chance right here. Also men who are interested make it happen. It's not about giving them chances they assert themselves and ask. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImogenIS Posted July 10, 2021 Author Share Posted July 10, 2021 5 minutes ago, stillafool said: This was a chance right here. Also men who are interested make it happen. It's not about giving them chances they assert themselves and ask. You are right. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted July 11, 2021 Share Posted July 11, 2021 You seem to "have a thing" for someone who is probably "the wrong guy". Happens. (A lot, actually.) While the points above about assertiveness are valid ones, perhaps he's a "one affair partner at a time" kind of guy. In that case it may eventually be your turn IF that's really what you want. Affairs tend to have big stings in their tails, particularly if discovered by the spouse. So it's possible he's "reformed" now after some bad experiences. At any rate, suggest you think long and hard before doing anything impulsive that might "blow up your life" if found out about. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 11, 2021 Share Posted July 11, 2021 11 hours ago, ImogenIS said: . I am sure that we will have a chance to talk to each other sometime over this summer. How do you plan on creating this? What if it ruins your fantasy? Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted July 11, 2021 Share Posted July 11, 2021 (edited) 15 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: What cards, exactly, are you hoping to put on the table? It sounds like you've had a crush for a long time. Aren't you happy with your partner/family? Exactly what l was thinking , you sound like a school girl playing l'm not looking games with the boy she likes. Edited July 11, 2021 by chillii 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts