jerrygordon3 Posted July 10, 2021 Posted July 10, 2021 (edited) I've been talking to this girl for 4 or 5 months, I am a digital nomad and move around whereever i want so I moved to her city after a few months of talking. shes a 10. shes super super super beautiful, shes also young, shes 20. I'm 30... I dont usually go for young girls like that but she is too pretty and made the first move so i wasn;t going to say no. we kept talking, we kept talking, we kept talking. she over time showed me more and more that shes sincerely interested. the problem is, she randomly goes on vacations for like 4 or 5 days, and sometimes doesnt text me back or check her messages alllllll day long. She says shes with friends, but I never see posts of her with friends or family, just her looking like a super hot model type taking the typical model type photos with nice s***; i.e. gucci bags, done up barbie style, drinking at a pool trying to hit a pose. stuff like that. Honestly im a big, muscly, tatted, confident, handsome dude. I've always had it easy with girls i wont lie, im very blessed but im a total romantic and it takes a lot to bring the romantic out in me cause I dont want to get hurt. i've dated enough to know how people act when they're playing the field, because I;ve done it to people and had it done to me.... SO, yesterday, shes on day 3 of a 3 week vacation with friends and family, she didnt respond or check her messages all day and I finally sort of just snapped and thought i keep fighting intuition and I feel crazy but experience has told me thats when there actually IS something going on.. so i listened to my intuition this time.... when she finally responded like 15 hours later I just didnt say anything and left her on read, i processed my feelings and this morning I told her why. I said look you've brought out the serious version of me, and I've moved here more or less just to pursue this, and I feel a bit like an idiot because past experiences and intuiton is telling me there is someone else. that you are involved with someone else, in some capacity. if you are, cool, tell me so I can act accordingly. she hasnt responded and i think if she doesnt maybe I have my answer. I'm here cause I'm trying to get an objective opinion on how I should look at this situation/ interpret/ maybe im being a douche and over reacting/ idfk. Edited July 10, 2021 by jerrygordon3 cause
ExpatInItaly Posted July 10, 2021 Posted July 10, 2021 How did you meet her, jerry? I think if you've been talking for 4-5 months and still aren't actually dating, you have your answer. She doesn't see this as a serious prospect. Moving to be near her and pursue her was not a great choice if you two weren't a couple. It's too much. Now that she knows this was your goal, she is backing away. I'm sorry man, but it seems clear that she does not want the same things you do from this. 2 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 10, 2021 Posted July 10, 2021 Okay, so what I'm wondering is, where does the sugar baby part come in? Have you been buying her things? 2
Author jerrygordon3 Posted July 10, 2021 Author Posted July 10, 2021 15 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: Okay, so what I'm wondering is, where does the sugar baby part come in? Have you been buying her things? nope havent dropped a dime
Author jerrygordon3 Posted July 10, 2021 Author Posted July 10, 2021 1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said: How did you meet her, jerry? I think if you've been talking for 4-5 months and still aren't actually dating, you have your answer. She doesn't see this as a serious prospect. Moving to be near her and pursue her was not a great choice if you two weren't a couple. It's too much. Now that she knows this was your goal, she is backing away. I'm sorry man, but it seems clear that she does not want the same things you do from this. we havent hung out cause I just arrived and she had just left on vacation. I have friends here and lived here before. she says shes serious and we video chat, and she says this and says that. I guess I will know when we hang out. BUT, before we have even had a chance to hang out shes made it seem like theres someone else. IDK i just get a shady feeling
ExpatInItaly Posted July 10, 2021 Posted July 10, 2021 3 minutes ago, jerrygordon3 said: we havent hung out That says it all, jerry. She is not serious if she hasn't even bothered to meet you. Telling her you moved to pursue this was not wise, as it would be off-putting to any woman who has never met the guy in question. Unfortunately, you're over-invested. She is treating you like a chat-buddy, not a guy she's genuinely interested in. 5
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 10, 2021 Posted July 10, 2021 10 minutes ago, jerrygordon3 said: nope havent dropped a dime Oh, okay, sorry, that's what confused me, because usually "sugar daddy/sugar baby" means sort of an arrangement where he "takes care of her" with money, gifts, etc. I would say this is really just something that never even got off the ground. I'm really sorry. 1
basil67 Posted July 10, 2021 Posted July 10, 2021 If she's never taken the time to meet you, she's not seriously interested. She's not even a girlfriend. She's just a random influencer on the internet. Sorry 2
elaine567 Posted July 10, 2021 Posted July 10, 2021 (edited) As you haven't paid her a penny and have no evidence any other guy has either, then the "sugar babe" comment is just a bitter derogatory jibe from someone who is not getting his own way.... She is young and apparently free and single, you haven't even met her, she could indeed be on holiday with friends and family, it is frankly none of your business... you are just some jealous guy who she hardly knows and you are telling her off... what gives you the right to do that? She is not really interested, else she wouldn't want to risk losing you by going MIA... These selfie babe young women love the attention, you got the idea you were special to her.... wrong! Edited July 10, 2021 by elaine567 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 10, 2021 Posted July 10, 2021 2 minutes ago, S2B said: I think he was saying she is the sugar baby to someone taking her on expensive 3 week vacations and buying her expensive purses/gifts. it’s suspect since she said she went with friends/family. Her sugar daddy likely took her on the trip. Oh! Okay, this totally makes sense now.
elaine567 Posted July 10, 2021 Posted July 10, 2021 Who says she is on expensive 3 week holidays? She goes away for 4-6 days at a time.... and don't very many young women pose around pools and exotic looking locations with designer stuff on show? It is what very many young women do, they want to increase their SM followers and become an "influencer" or celebrity on IG or the like... A sugar baby is just an escort basically, that is a very different dynamic. 1
Wiseman2 Posted July 10, 2021 Posted July 10, 2021 46 minutes ago, jerrygordon3 said: we havent hung out Unfortunately seems like you are being scammed or catfished. You're not dating so, look at the pics, but realize this may all be fake. 2
Interstellar Posted July 10, 2021 Posted July 10, 2021 (edited) she’s a beautiful woman, you know what they say about beautiful women? they’re the most dangerous creature on the face of the planet. be careful when you’re gonna get get involve with one of them. it’s good that you just don’t fall in love right away, you’re supposed to go real slow and protect your heart especially if you’re dealing with a beautiful woman. but it looks like you’ve lost your cool with this gal man. you’re supposed to be the court jester, making her laugH all the time and she’s supposed to be chasing you. but it’s correct that you should be listening to your gut, because the mind lies, and the heart lies but your gut never lies. what i would do? i’d disappear and go on witness protection program for three weeks and wait for her to contact me. that means i’d disappear from social media too but for your sake you’d be much better off dating other women and drop her. Forever. Edited July 10, 2021 by Interstellar
Author jerrygordon3 Posted July 10, 2021 Author Posted July 10, 2021 1 hour ago, elaine567 said: As you haven't paid her a penny and have no evidence any other guy has either, then the "sugar babe" comment is just a bitter derogatory jibe from someone who is not getting his own way.... She is young and apparently free and single, you haven't even met her, she could indeed be on holiday with friends and family, it is frankly none of your business... you are just some jealous guy who she hardly knows and you are telling her off... what gives you the right to do that? She is not really interested, else she wouldn't want to risk losing you by going MIA... These selfie babe young women love the attention, you got the idea you were special to her.... wrong! i told her she doesnt owe me anything, but if she is involved with someone else, and we've been talking for 4 or 5 months, and im investing my time and money to come out for her.... and she asked me to, and we are talking everyday and doing video chats, then I want to know her heart is in the right place. and it doesnt seem like it is when once in awhile she just goes missing for an entire day. maybe shes just acting 20. but im trusting my gut, and if im investing my time and money in travel, deserve to know we are on the same page so your comment sort of totally misses the mark
Author jerrygordon3 Posted July 10, 2021 Author Posted July 10, 2021 1 hour ago, elaine567 said: Who says she is on expensive 3 week holidays? She goes away for 4-6 days at a time.... and don't very many young women pose around pools and exotic looking locations with designer stuff on show? It is what very many young women do, they want to increase their SM followers and become an "influencer" or celebrity on IG or the like... A sugar baby is just an escort basically, that is a very different dynamic. ya but i do the whole IG influencer thing sort of, I have a lot of followers, but if im interested in someone and every morning she says good morning, and at night she says goonight. and she tells me she really likes me and giggles when we talk and acts shy as f***. then randomly doesnt check her messages or even respond for 20+hours.... it just seems suspect. like either shes a ditzy 20 year old that doesn't know how to act? or... shes playing the F out of me like a damn fiddle
ExpatInItaly Posted July 10, 2021 Posted July 10, 2021 15 minutes ago, jerrygordon3 said: im investing my time and money to come out for her.. You should not have done with without ever having met her. Jerry, you need to be a lot more careful with your time, energy, heart and money. Investing anything in an internet stranger is not smart. I asked before but maybe you missed it: how did you meet this woman? Or are you just one of her followers online? 1
Fletch Lives Posted July 10, 2021 Posted July 10, 2021 Well if you have never met, she's just a stranger and a catfish. 1
Wiseman2 Posted July 10, 2021 Posted July 10, 2021 29 minutes ago, jerrygordon3 said: if im investing my time and money in travel Ok, just stop chasing an IG influencer and make believing she's the answer to your situation. Someone's who you're just talking to and whose pics (and money) you like, doesn't owe you anything.
Author jerrygordon3 Posted July 10, 2021 Author Posted July 10, 2021 36 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: You should not have done with without ever having met her. Jerry, you need to be a lot more careful with your time, energy, heart and money. Investing anything in an internet stranger is not smart. I asked before but maybe you missed it: how did you meet this woman? Or are you just one of her followers online? I was on tinder and we matched, she messaged me back in march. My buddy is there too, and I love it there, so I dont mind going, but her particular city. I mean, regardless the reason im having this talk now is because im hesitant to invest time in someone that is giving me signals like this. I havent come out of pocket for her at all. just time invested at this point.
d0nnivain Posted July 10, 2021 Posted July 10, 2021 56 minutes ago, jerrygordon3 said: i told her she doesnt owe me anything, but if she is involved with someone else, and we've been talking for 4 or 5 months, and im investing my time and money to come out for her.... and she asked me to, and we are talking everyday and doing video chats, then I want to know her heart is in the right place. and it doesnt seem like it is when once in awhile she just goes missing for an entire day. maybe shes just acting 20. but im trusting my gut, and if im investing my time and money in travel, deserve to know we are on the same page so your comment sort of totally misses the mark You are not dating this woman if you have never done more than video chat. It doesn't matter that you do it every day except when she's on these vacations. Your interactions do not add up to a relationship. When she gets home ask her on a proper date where you meet in person & interact. See how that goes. Date her for a few weeks. Then & only then can you call her your GF or get any say in where she goes & how / when / if she communicates with you while she's away. Even though you "met" on Tinder, if you haven't been on a date you are barely more than a stranger. She owes you nothing & is entitled to her privacy.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 10, 2021 Posted July 10, 2021 4 minutes ago, jerrygordon3 said: just time invested at this point. This is the point, though. Don't invest time in someone who avoids meeting you in person. She is not interested the way you are. 2
BaileyB Posted July 10, 2021 Posted July 10, 2021 3 hours ago, jerrygordon3 said: maybe shes just acting 20. A beautiful 20 year old has lots of options. You are going to be sadly disappointed if you are expecting her to “settle down” and date you exclusively. She hasn’t demonstrated that this is her interest in any way… 1
mark clemson Posted July 10, 2021 Posted July 10, 2021 (edited) Yeah, sounds like whatever her deal may be she's "just not that into you" as they say. Unfortunate, but since you're a digital nomad and a quality guy yourself, you'll no doubt recover from this quickly. Maybe find an actual sugar baby and get her out of your system (if you've got some $ for that). At any rate, move on - it sounds like you're not going to have much say in the matter anyway. No point in being stuck as an orbiter for a quality guy. Edited July 10, 2021 by mark clemson 1
smackie9 Posted July 10, 2021 Posted July 10, 2021 (edited) Well......as they say, if it quacks like a duck..... If you are all that and have NP getting chicks, why are you acting so beta....snap out of it. Edited July 10, 2021 by smackie9 1
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