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Boyfriend becoming petty and jealous since we started living together


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Hi, I’m new here so I’ll give you some background. So, I (20) have been with my bf (28) for almost 2 yrs now. We met at church under the most fortuitious circumstances. We decided to date after hearing each other complain at our bible study about how hard it is to date when you’re committed to not having sex before marriage. And our relationship has only kept growing stronger since. He treats me better than any guy ever has and I am deeply in love with him. We have gotten to know each other so well that I really feel we are soulmates and we do plan on getting married, although nothing is formal yet. We even recently decided to start living together just to make sure we are really compatible, and although we have not had intercourse yet, we are intimate enough (cuddling, touching, etc) that we felt we would both be comfortable with this situation.

Well, at first everything was fine, but after about a month I started noticing some definite negative changes in him.  It began with him wanting to have sex.  I was surprised because he had never pushed me too hard in this area even when we cuddled, and he would constantly reaffirm his commitment to our shared faith. In fact, he used to always tell me that he picked me because ‘beautiful virgins’ were virtually impossible to find, and that I was a ‘one in a million’. He even started sleeping in a different room because I was ‘blueballing’ him as he put it, which I found odd because we had always been able to be ‘intimate’ without this being an issue. I felt weird about it because I’m a very intimate person and cuddling and touching are very important to me, and not being able to sleep with him made me feel like the situation was ‘unnatural’. I offered to move out but he insisted that everything was fine, he just didn’t feel comfortable sleeping together without sex, even tho I’d spent the night with him a few times before I moved in with him with no apparent issues.

Then I started noticing him getting nit-picky with me, which I felt was an expression of his sexual frustration, although he will always deny this has anything to do with it if I bring it up. It began with him complaining about my spending, even though he is very rich. To be fair, he is supporting me while I’m in college, but of course this is only temporary (I do plan on having a career). He comes off very mean to me, which is quite rare for him, and irrational also since money shouldn’t be an issue for him.  But he complains that he likes to keep the finances ‘tight’ and he will chastise me whenever he thinks I’m spending ‘like crazy’ which lately is pretty often.

Next, he began complaining about me having too many friends over the house ‘partying’ all day while he’s at work.  Even tho I clean up pretty well afterwards and we are not ‘partying’ all day.  They are my classmates and we share the same major, and mostly we just hang out and discuss school and other shared interests.  To be fair, in the afternoon we will drink a bit and hang out in the hot tub (he has this GIGANTIC hot tub that is half the size of a pool), but that’s about it.  I honestly feel he’s just feeling resentful about being the primary breadwinner at this stage of our relationship, but he will deny this and claim that it’s just that he doesn’t like so many people being over when he’s not here. Which seems a bit controlling to me. Not to mention that he found out about my ‘partying’ because he’s having our neighbor ‘watch over’ the house, which tells me he still has trust issues with me. And it makes me feel almost like I’m a child and he’s my father or something.

Then, about a week ago, the sh*t really hit the fan. He found out that one of my friends happens to be a guy, and this seemed to really set him off. He was referring to an old friend of mine, Tony, who I’ve been good friends with since the 8th grade. He said he didn’t feel comfortable with a guy being over all the time, especially if we were alone. Apparently our neighbor exaggerated and told him my guy friend was over ‘all the time’ even when my other friends weren’t there. He also seemed to know a lot about him, even tho I had never mentioned him, which makes me think he must have got into my phone or laptop somehow. But at any rate he must have some kind of source, which makes me feel like my privacy is being violated.  However, since I had no proof I did not accuse him of snooping. But I did change my pw on my phone and laptop just to make sure.            

Well,  I felt his jealously was completely unwarranted, but instead of arguing with him, I tried to do the ‘right’ thing and to consider his feelings and put his mind at ease.  I told him that I see Tony only as a platonic friend, and I explained to him that we’ve known each other for a long time and have a lot of shared friends. He pushed me for more details, but I admit I didn’t feel comfortable revealing everything so soon. We are in love but I don’t think either of us expects to know everything all at once. But I did try to assure him by explaining that Tony is in a relationship, which obviously implies he’s unavailable. But although he verbally seemed to back off a bit, I noticed that his body language and demeanor still didn’t seem to trust me. And since then he’s been making the situation even weirder by randomly calling me throughout the day and asking me what I’m doing, who’s over, etc. He even got a bit pissed the other day when some of my friends were over and Tony happened to be there.

A little bit of background on me and Tony:  We met in the 8th grade and became really good friends in high school where we both were on the debate team. We would all meet and debate things and sometimes it really got ‘heated’. I guess it was a kind of like-hate relationship and we were kinda close. After graduation we both ended up getting accepted to the same school but different majors so we still stayed in touch and occassionally went out for drinks and coffee. I know him really well and he currently is kinda in a relationship with another girl and I was truly happy for him. I met my bf 2 yrs ago and when I told him he was happy for me as well since this is my first serious relationship. And I know for a fact that we’re still just friends because we’ve had that conversation before and it was definitely flirting before my bf and I got serious. But since my current relationship has gotten more serious I’ve toned down on the flirting and am acting more friendly.

Anyways, I feel that all of these issues really revolve around his frustration with me for not wanting to have sex with him even tho it’s something we agreed on from the very beginning. I’m even thinking that maybe living together was not such a good idea after all.  But he denies this even tho all his pettiness began shortly after we stopped sleeping together.

What do you think I should do? I don’t want this too get too confrontational since our 2 year anniversary is coming up, but his constant nit-picking and jealously is really wearing me down. Especially his jealousy, which seems to be getting worse each day.

And please just give me your honest opinions.  Thx in advance.

 

 

 

 

Posted

It's  unrealistic to think you can live together without having sex.  It doesn't  matter what your agreement was.  His frustration is natural and not a surprise.

Add to that his financially supporting you, and while he's  at work you're hanging out in his hot tub with your friends, including this one particular guy.  Of course he's going to feel resentful and be unhappy about it.

The age difference at this stage in your life makes a big difference. 

If you're not going to have sex, move out.  If it was only to see how you got along, this situation isn't going to give you a realistic picture unless you plan to never have sex and have him continue to support you while you have a student lifestyle.

  • Like 12
Posted

I'm thinking his move to another bedroom was a passive/aggressive response and/or a manipulative tactic to get you to have sex with him.

And I completely get it, the whole "no sex before marriage" thing is an outdated and unreasonable concept that has no upside whatsoever.

 

  • Like 3
Posted

It is true that you shouldn't have moved in together if you weren't going to have sex - his frustration is completely understandable. 

Your attitude to his money also sounds entitled.  Of course he's going to be upset if he's working his butt off to support you while you're having parties with your friends.  If you're living together, it may be reasonable for him to pay for your share of food and housing costs, but you should go and get yourself a part time job to pay for your clothes, entertainment and non essential items.   Did your parents teach you a strong work ethic?  If so, why aren't you working now?

  • Like 7
Posted

If you don't want to have sex, that's perfectly acceptable.

But what you want is not necessarily what he wants.

There's a reason why it's called "riding the gravy train" and he is understandably at his wits end.

  • Like 5
Posted (edited)
28 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Your attitude to his money also sounds entitled.  Of course he's going to be upset if he's working his butt off to support you while you're having parties with your friends.

Totally entitled. Here she is, not working, he's paying all the bills and she's partying with her school friends and relaxing in his gigantic hot tub while he's working his ass off. And to top it off, he's not going to get any sex because, well she just doesn't want to do it yet.

Meanwhile she's hanging out with a guy friend- ALONE- and he only finds out because of a helpful neighbor. Her response- she changes her passwords on her laptop and phone.

Her perspective of the whole situation is very worrisome. As far as she's concerned- he's resentful and controlling.

Yeah ok

This would be a curb-kicker for me or any decent guy with sufficient self respect.

Edited by Alfano
  • Like 7
  • Thanks 3
Posted

You should not be living together if you are not having sex. That is a horrible idea omg.

The thing about living together is that it is a work in process to learn to live with another, to meld together.  And sex is the tool to bond and smooth out the edges.

‘Building a life together is hard work.  If you don’t want to work at it then don’t do it.

‘His controlling and jealousy is an issue but is this how he is normally or is this his reaction due to your specific behavior?

Why don’t you have parties when he is home and a can enjoy the fun with both your gal and guy friends?

why do you exclude him?

I think it would be best if you moved out until you are married.

  • Like 2
  • Author
Posted

Sorry, but I'm afraid there's been some misconceptions about my situation here.

My bf offered to support me while I go to school.  And yes, I have a work ethic, but right now I want to concentrate on my studies.  Plus, my bf and I are planning on getting married.  I'm really not sure why I'm being accused of 'riding the gravy train' here.

And not having sex was something my bf agreed to from the beginning.  We are both very conservative christians and not having sex outside of marriage is something we BOTH strongly believe in.  

I also think it's 'normal' for him to now have 'changed his mind' and now want to have sex.  But I don't think it's right to take out your frustrations on your SO.  If the situation is making him uncomfortable I will move out.  But he says he doesn't want me to.  So I'm not sure what to do.

I know one thing for sure, tho.  Even tho I love my bf with all my heart, I'm not going to have sex with him before we are married because it goes against my faith and God's teachings.  And it also goes against his as well.

My position is that I can either move out, or I can stay, but that does not give him the right to 'lash out' at me just because I am sticking with the vows we both believe in.

  • Like 1
Posted

If nothing else you're being completely insensitive to his concerns about your guy friend who you didn't even TELL him about.

Then you make things worse by changing your passwords.

You can choose to have sex, or not have sex, or have sex with someone else.

He's having a change of heart, he's got his concerns, you're partying all day at his expense while stating you aren't riding any gravy train.

The fact is he's not happy about it and he's probably not going to put up with it for much longer. And he's got the absolute right as well as good reason to show you the door. His door.

At which point you can take your guy friend, and your school party friends, and god's teachings and go live somewhere else and find another guy who will put up with all of it.

 

  • Author
Posted

"You should not be living together if you are not having sex. That is a horrible idea omg."

Well, tbh I really did not see why until this experience.  We were not having sex anyways, so what's the difference?

"The thing about living together is that it is a work in process to learn to live with another, to meld together.  And sex is the tool to bond and smooth out the edges."

Well, that is why we decided to live together.  To 'meld together'.  To me, it is like 'practicing' before you are actually married.  Then after marriage, comes the sex.  But,  I have never thought of sex as 'bonding and smoothing out the edges', lol.  

"‘Building a life together is hard work.  If you don’t want to work at it then don’t do it."

But we are willing to work at it.  That is why we decided to try living together.  I'm even trying to work at it right now by posting here and trying to get advice, lol.

"His controlling and jealousy is an issue but is this how he is normally or is this his reaction due to your specific behavior?"

But that is the whole point of my post.  I don't know.  Is it because of the lack of sex or what is it then?  He's always been a little jealous, but not controlling, but now he's both.

"Why don’t you have parties when he is home and a can enjoy the fun with both your gal and guy friends?

why do you exclude him?"

I do not 'exclude' him.  It's just that my friends are only free during the day and my bf works a lot of hours.

"I think it would be best if you moved out until you are married."

I'm leaning in that direction....

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)
27 minutes ago, Janie7 said:

  He's always been a little jealous, but not controlling, but now he's both.

He's neither one of those things. At least, not based on what you wrote here.

He's being completely reasonable.

Your behavior on the other hand is insensitive, disrespectful, entitled and you've got serious boundary issues.

When he tells you he wants out, you're going to be very surprised and blame it all on him.

And unless and until you figure it out you'll repeat this dysfunctional pattern over and over with any guy who gives you the opportunity.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
civility
  • Like 3
Posted
29 minutes ago, Janie7 said:

My bf offered to support me while I go to school.  And yes, I have a work ethic, but right now I want to concentrate on my studies. 

When someone supports you, you are beholden to their rules on what you spend money on.  If you want to spend more, this is when you get a job.  Don't complain because he won't let you spend on what he sees as frivilous items.

You can concentrate on your studies while having a part time job - if you've got time to party with your friends, then you've got time to work.  And besides, if you graduate without showing commitment to work and possessing good references, you'll be far less employable than your peers who have been working since they were 16-17.  If an employer looks at two well presented candidates with the same degree, they will take the one who can demonstrate commitment to work.

  • Like 4
Posted

Living together and not having sex is not a good idea. It's fine to wait until marriage but you should live separately. I can imagine your bf's frustration. And having friends over while he's at work, especially another guy, is just not cool. He has a right to be angry.

  • Like 1
Posted

There's so much wrong about this situation and both parties must share the blame equally.

Firstly, @Janie7, whilst my opinion of waiting to have sex before marriage is at odds with yours, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it if both parties are okay with it.  From your version of events, both yourself and your partner entered into an agreement which he is now struggling to fulfill in practical reality.

Unfortunately relationships don't run in a linear pattern to expectations.  Things change, and when they do we have to be prepared to adapt.  In this regard, you've offered to move out and he didn't want it to come to that.  So, really, it's on him to make the call as to how he'll manage this moving forward.

Where you guys see yourselves now with this issue is one which cannot be resolved unless a) you decide to have sex with him, or b) you decide to move out and actually follow through with it, as opposed to just suggest (threaten?) to do so.

You seem fairly aware just how much sexual frustration can change a man's behavior and resentment towards his partner.  Of course, this can apply to women as well, however men are known to afflicted by sexual frustration and mood swings as a result more often than women.

It is my opinion that for a man of 28 to completely suppress his natural sexual urges is unhealthy and unnatural.  Any normal, sexually healthy male who sleeps with and fools around with a woman with whom he's highly sexually attracted to, as well as in love with, would find himself afflicted by "blue balls" eventually.

This component of the relationship requires him to decide if he's willing to accept no sex until after you're married, or for you to move out.  As another poster stated; unless you're prepared to never have sex, then moving in to see if you're compatible for the future is not really achieving anything because the conditions are not conducive to how you wish to exist in the long-term.

In terms of your attitude to his money and resources, you come across as extremely entitled.  You've conceded that you spend a lot of his money, party all day with your friends in his hot tub while he's at work slaving away to provide a lifestyle which you're taking advantage of while he's hardly there to enjoy it.

Tell me, what exactly do you think you bring to the relationship?  Your boyfriend would be feeling like he's being royally taken advantage of, whilst his frustration would only be exacerbated by his unfulfilled sexual needs.  Reading into the situation, it would appear that you believe that just your presence alone is giving enough back to this relationship.  Where is the effort on your part?

Having said that, the blame doesn't lie solely with you here.  Your boyfriend has unwittingly enabled this situation.  You've just slipped into it comfortably because, well, the shoe just happened to fit.  However, unless he's willing to make the decision, you need to make it for him and move out. 

You should resume dating, but perhaps not cohabit until you've finished your studies and you're willing to marry him.  That way you can take care of his sexual needs as well as contribute to the living costs.

Now, where I draw the line with your part to play is with having "Tony" around.  Even if it's not all the time, and even if the neighbor exaggerated and said he was there even when nobody else was around, it doesn't matter!  In all honesty, that alone would have made me say, "enough is enough, this won't work, you need to move out."

It is not acceptable to have this guy over at your boyfriend's house, partying and using his hot tub.  You can say that your boyfriend is being controlling as much as you like, but it's his house, and it's inappropriate.  The last thing I'd want is some dude who'd been friends with my girlfriend since junior high hanging around, alone at times, with my girlfriend, in my house, while I was left as sexually frustrated as he is.

You throw the word 'jealousy' around like it's something that he should feel shame for.  Wait, what!?  He just happened to find out (which I'm sure you didn't voluntarily disclose) that this Tony dude's been hanging around his girlfriend, presumably in her bikini, whilst he's at work slaving away.  You're damn right he'd feel jealous.  I'm sorry, but this is just wrong, even though I'm sure you've not actually done anything together.

You guys need to sit down and have a long talk about things.  You need to work out a plan which best serves the needs of both of you moving forward.  Consider the possibility that you're both actually incompatible, despite meeting at church and initially believing that you guys were soulmates.

Good luck.

  • Like 8
Posted

You are young and this is your first serious relationship so I am going to say that you lack experience, not that you are purposefully taking advantage or anything like that.

I am trying to help, I am not accusing you of anything.

So let’s get to it…

You love your bf and value the relationship.  That is why you are here, correct?

Do you feel comfortable talking to him?  Do you feel that he cares about how you feel?  Do you share your feelings with him honestly?

How about him? Does he feel comfortable talking to you?  Do you care about his feelings and make efforts to under him?  Does he share his feelings with you?

Don’t lose your way in the forest.  Don’t forget what is really important.  That you are both happy, feel valued and have trust for each other.  Everything else is a distraction.

Go hang out with your friends outside of the house.  Have friends over when your bf can be there to enjoy their company with you.  Think about how you should be acting as a couple.

Dont forget that he is testing you out just as much as you him.  How much you value his love and all that he offers will show through your actions.  If he broke up,with you tomorrow how would you feel?  Perhaps you are feeling that you both are in different places in life and he is too much of a dominant figure in your life.  You need to talk to him.

 

  • Like 1
Posted

Living together without having sex.... I'm sorry but that's just crazy.  No wonder he is getting frustrated with it, almost any man would.  

It seems that he no longer wants to wait until marriage to have sex.  You clearly are committed to waiting until marriage.  So you and him are not compatible on a fundamental level.  If he's so frustrated with this situation then he needs to break up with you and get a girlfriend who is not stuck on this idea of waiting until marriage to have sex.  Why he's choosing to torture himself with this ridiculous situation is beyond me.  He sounds confused and conflicted.  There's no resolution to this problem other than rushing the wedding, which would be a very poor decision and the wrong reason to get married.

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)

I think both of you share some blame here.

First, and maybe foremost, he is older and wiser out of two of you. He should've brought you to his house as his wife not his girlfriend or a platonic roommate. What was this 28-year-old man thinking bringing a young woman to live together? What did he envision living and cuddling together but no sex. I do respect yours and his decision to stay virgins till the marriage but how did he think it was going to pan out. And how he is taking out on you his sexual frustrations. This is not fair. Second, money matters. Did he discuss it with you before you moved in with him? He knows that you are a student and not working and agreed to support you. So, did he give you any allowance or such or told you the limit on spending the money? If he didn't want to marry you right away, why didn't he wait few more years till you would be done with the college and out and about earning some cash? That would probably be a perfect timing to actually  get married. You living with your parents or roommates saving some money before the marriage. I don't get his line of reasoning. Either marry you right away or wait till you finish with the college. No living together in-between.

Now, you. Why did you agree to live with a guy before a marriage? So, it is OK to live with a guy, who by no means is your husband, but not OK to have sex with him? It doesn't raise any eyebrows? What are you thinking throwing some parties and inviting your friends over to his place. This is his place, not yours. His house, his rules. See your friends outside his house or something. I don't care how platonic things are between you and this Tony guy. Your bf needs to be your priority, so don't invite his over if he not agreeing to it. Period. Also, now is a summertime. Why are you not looking for some part-time summer job? I heard on the news today that many restaurants are reopening and are hiring people. I don't know where you live but sure enough you can find something during the summer month. That way you are behaving like a responsible adult and not just sitting doing nothing and partying around. You have to understand that this is not your house and that you are spending his money, not your own.  

Talk to him, come to some compromises about how to proceed. Be prepared to move out if necessary. Perhaps, after all, you are not compatible to get married. But talk to him about your concerns and listen to what he says.

Edited by Alvi
  • Like 1
Posted
5 hours ago, Janie7 said:

I'm afraid there's been some misconceptions about my situation here.

I don't think there have been. 

Your choice to not have sex until marriage is fine.  But living together under those circumstances is unrealistic.

As has been noted, when someone financially supports you, there are strings attached, they naturally feel they have some say in how you live.  You may think that's wrong, but it's reality.  It does not matter that he offered/chooses to pay - the strings are still there.  My guess is you have never been in the position of fully supporting yourself, otherwise you would get that.  

It also doesn't matter that he says he doesn't want you to move out.  He wants you to meet his expectations (I'm not talking about just sex), and since you seem to feel those expectations are unreasonable, you need to leave.  His expectations are not going to change.   

  • Like 3
Posted

If you're going to continue to live with your boyfriend, you need to start putting his feelings higher on your priority list, rather than trying to dismiss them as him being controlling or unreasonable.

- no having friends over at the house without his express permission

- no spending time 1 on 1 with Tony at all, but especially in the house/pool

 

[quote]and it was definitely flirting before my bf and I got serious[/quote]

So your boyfriend does have every right not to want Tony around, then. What you need to understand is that the point isn't whether or not you will do anything with Tony, the point is that Tony clearly does want you. Don't be surprised if he'd be willing to ditch his 'kinda' relationship for it.

If you can't see what the problem is with spending 1 on 1 time with a guy who's clearly attracted to you is, you've got some growing up to do.

  • Like 5
Posted

Janie7

You need to move out.  This was an experiment & it failed.  What you need to learn is that if you do not intend to have sex with someone, NEVER get into bed with that person.  Just don't.  To do otherwise makes you a tease.  If your beliefs about virginity & waiting until marriage are that important to you, avoid the temptation.  Anybody with any sense could have told you that your idea to move in & share a bed was simply unworkable.  Where are your parents in all this?  Why did they say OK to this silly idea? Similarly if you talked to your pastor that person would have also dissuaded you from living together. 

I get why a 20 year old with stars in her eyes & child's innocent view of the world may have missed all the red flags here but that is no excuse for your almost 30 year old BF.  What was his thinking on this?  He really should have known better.  There is only so much closeness a healthy man can take before he wants sex.  It is a biological need.  If you plan to keep your virginity, you have to move out.  It really is as simple as that. 

Once you moved in, because you aren't married, it was incumbent on you to pay your own way:  tuition, books, rent, utilities, your half of the food etc.  Since as a broke college student, you can't afford all that, you should not have moved in.  He sees you as a mooch.  It's worse & you add salt to that wound by turning his apartment into the college kids' hang out.  They come over all day, hang out, run up the electric, eat all the food & drink all his booze, all of which he pays for.  While maybe he might have been OK support you since he foolishly offered, he never expected to be subsidizing all your friends.  You make him feel like you are only there for his money on top of which he's sexually frustrated because you are right there but just out of reach.  No matter what he says, as his live in GF you are not entitled to his money & you cannot treat his money like your money.  So stop .   

  • Like 6
Posted

Yes, you come off as entitled, but you're also 20 years old! You are practically a baby. The maturity/life experience gap of 8 years is enormous at your age and even though it's legal I would have strongly disapproved as a parent.

You should never have agreed to move in together if you're not having sex. If you don't believe in sex before marriage, then fine, but that should extend to not living together either. If you believe you shouldn't have the "benefits" of marriage prior to the act then that should include the comfort and convenience of living together. 

Your boyfriend should have known better. I think this relationship is doomed for several reasons, not least of which being that you have different goals and values, but you are also just way too young to be involved in stuff like this. Break up, move out, get your degree, and start figuring out yourself independently before you try to make grown-up choices with someone else.

  • Like 4
Posted
9 hours ago, Janie7 said:

I'm really not sure why I'm being accused of 'riding the gravy train' here.

Because

10 hours ago, Janie7 said:

 To be fair, he is supporting me while I’m in college, 

But he complains that he likes to keep the finances ‘tight’ and he will chastise me whenever he thinks I’m spending ‘like crazy’ which lately is pretty often.

Next, he began complaining about me having too many friends over the house ‘partying’ all day while he’s at work.  Even tho I clean up pretty well afterwards and we are not ‘partying’ all day. 

in the afternoon we will drink a bit and hang out in the hot tub (he has this GIGANTIC hot tub that is half the size of a pool), but that’s about it. 

He said he didn’t feel comfortable with a guy being over all the time, especially if we were alone.

And I know for a fact that we’re still just friends because we’ve had that conversation before and it was definitely flirting before my bf and I got serious. But since my current relationship has gotten more serious I’ve toned down on the flirting and am acting more friendly.

Sounds like a great deal for your bf:  no sex and he gets to finance his gf's partying and flirting with others

  • Like 8
  • Thanks 1
Posted

If you have time to hang out in the hot tub with Tony and party with your friends, you have time to get a part time job. You are totally taking advantage of him, and you need to realize how insensitive you've been. 

  • Like 6
Posted (edited)
11 hours ago, Janie7 said:

my bf (28) for almost 2 yrs now. We met at church under the most fortuitious circumstances.

You need to move out and move back home with your parents. He's abuse and has zero respect for you.

Just because he reads bibles and talks the talk don't be fooled into thinking he's a good person.

 If he had integrity he would wait for marriage before installing you in a live-in situation as a non-wife utility and pressuring you for sex.

Edited by Wiseman2
  • Like 2
  • Confused 2
  • Sad 1
Posted

This is all on you.

Personally I think waiting for marriage before sex is wrong and just ridiculous.. but if you both agreed it, then you should not be living together. Nothing worse than being in bed every night with a woman and getting absolutely nothing. We men have needs.

If you have enough time to be sitting in a hot tub all day with friends then you have enough time to get a job. Then you can spend your money however you want.

This Tony guy should have been dropped from being your friend a long time ago, especially when you got a boyfriend. Bringing round another guy who you have flirted with before is just disrespectful.

Your boyfriend is getting nothing out of this relationship, I'm surprised he hasn't ended things with you already.

  • Confused 1
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