do they actually leave?

[Myabee]

7 minutes ago, basil67 said:

But you've already started blocking him haven't you?  This is just another step which needed to be done.  It doesn't matter which one of you did it.

I had removed him from social media had not blocked yet. He is out of my phone and I got a new number. 

[Myabee]

8 minutes ago, basil67 said:

If she knows he's married and decides to have a relationship with him anyway, she will not be a victim either.  

I guess true...

[basil67]

3 minutes ago, Myabee said:

I had removed him from social media had not blocked yet. He is out of my phone and I got a new number. 

You're doing well.  And him blocking you is also a good choice on his part.  The sooner you lose the ability to contact each other, the sooner your healing will start.

[Myabee]

1 hour ago, basil67 said:

You're doing well.  And him blocking you is also a good choice on his part.  The sooner you lose the ability to contact each other, the sooner your healing will start.

Well that was just another lie then on his part because he told her he went NC with me and broke it off then he told me that was just for now until he could sort through this mess then he would reach back out to me. 

[basil67]

Honey, the fact that he was cheating on his wife was a pretty big clue that he was a lair - so you already had this information.   If you want the kind of guy who's honest, don't choose someone who's cheating.

[Myabee]

Just now, basil67 said:

Honey, the fact that he was cheating on his wife was a pretty big clue that he was a lair - so you already had this information.   If you want the kind of guy who's honest, don't choose someone who's cheating.

I know. I'm just having such a hard time with this.  

[Myabee]

On 11/20/2021 at 3:58 PM, Daliah said:

Oh for goodness sake Myabee, he’s not going anywhere with you,___give him the space he wants and tell him to eff off and NEVER try to contact you again…You say  ‘but I love him’..no. Kindly..you don’t.  You love the man you THOUGHT he was. He’s shown you who he really is.  Believe him and shut. That. Down.  Everywhere.

****i need to keep reading this!!!!!!*****

[Crazelnut]

3 hours ago, Myabee said:

Yup! Just saw that he blocked me on social media. Figured that was coming. 

YOU should have already had him blocked. Now, think hard about any other avenues left open and you block him there! It's for your own good. 

[elaine567]

3 hours ago, Myabee said:

Yup! Just saw that he blocked me on social media. Figured that was coming. 

Par for the course, she will have demanded he block you everywhere.
You may get a phone call from him, telling you he doesn't and never has loved you and for you to never EVER contact him again.
She will have instructed him to do so and she will be in the background listening to every word. 

[Myabee]

13 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

Par for the course, she will have demanded he block you everywhere.
You may get a phone call from him, telling you he doesn't and never has loved you and for you to never EVER contact him again.
She will have instructed him to do so and she will be in the background listening to every word. 

Oh geeze! Well he can't call me i changed my number..Can't email does not have that info. I don't think she will be calling me. I do have his work phone number and email but I won't be using that. I already had texted from a second bogus number a few days ago last contact that I will never be contacting him again. He stayed and is trying to save face to not get thrown out. If he really does love me like he said on the phone friday.... then this sucks for him too because he lost me and is at her full mercy. 

Edited November 24, 2021 by Myabee

[glows]

Just focus on other things now. He's out of your life so why give this any more space in your head or heart? Hanging onto that pain or anger about the situation will keep you tied to it. Let go..

[Myabee]

9 minutes ago, glows said:

Just focus on other things now. He's out of your life so why give this any more space in your head or heart? Hanging onto that pain or anger about the situation will keep you tied to it. Let go..

I just noticed something from another FB account I have I logged on clicked on message him and it says hes acrive on messanger. First of all he always claimed he did not use nessanger much and for a man who's wife just caught him cheating on his phone he is logged into to messanger? Red flag! Red flag.  

 

i wil let go glows this just hurts its so fresh

Edited November 24, 2021 by Myabee

[LynneVicious]

17 minutes ago, Myabee said:

I just noticed something from another FB account I have I logged on clicked on message him and it says hes acrive on messanger. First of all he always claimed he did not use nessanger much and for a man who's wife just caught him cheating on his phone he is logged into to messanger? Red flag! Red flag.  

 

i wil let go glows this just hurts its so fresh

You need to stop looking him up and any further investigating. Just stop! It’s pain shopping. 

[Myabee]

6 minutes ago, LynneVicious said:

You need to stop looking him up and any further investigating. Just stop! It’s pain shopping. 

Yes thats pain shopping you are correct! However.... it's just validates cheating lier even more and I need to roll with that one. Keep saying that in my head... cheating lier!! cheating lier.  

[ExpatInItaly]

3 hours ago, Myabee said:

 Keep saying that in my head... cheating lier!! cheating lier.  

He's been a cheating liar from the moment this started. 

 

[glows]

Do you need that other fb account? Why have more than one? Won't it feel so much lighter not to have that connection or to delete him or an account you rarely use?

[Wiseman2]

There's a few things you can do to feel better. Delete and block him from all your social media and messaging apps.

Don't drown your sorrows. If alcohol has become a crutch, address underlying issues. Check out some sobriety support groups.

Get to a physician for an evaluation of your physical and mental health. Ask for a referral to a qualified therapist.

This has very little to do with him and at some level you know this.

When you resolve and focus on the real problems they'll get solved. Right now you're using all this to avoid real issues and as a receptacle for all your pain.

 

Edited November 24, 2021 by Wiseman2

[Daliah]

9 hours ago, Myabee said:

Oh geeze! Well he can't call me i changed my number..Can't email does not have that info. I don't think she will be calling me. I do have his work phone number and email but I won't be using that. I already had texted from a second bogus number a few days ago last contact that I will never be contacting him again. He stayed and is trying to save face to not get thrown out. If he really does love me like he said on the phone friday.... then this sucks for him too because he lost me and is at her full mercy. 

With kindness Myabee, he’s not at her ‘mercy’  at all…..he’s a grown man capable of independent decision making…what he’s doing is a conscious choice..the only person he ‘loves’ is himself… block his work email and number for your own well being because hanging onto any remnant of this pathetic individual can only lead to more pain. 
 

You can and you WILL get through this, and navigate the waves that you’ll need to ride in between but ONLY if you cut this carbuncle out absolutely entirely.  Read other stories here of women who have perpetuated their own agony by caving into a witless, selfish attempt to draw them in again. They DO come back, which is when YOU havie to display resilience (even if you don’t feel it).fake it till you make it. No good can come of this ever.
 

Chin up sweetie. Best foot forward.  You’re doing it already…..just keep doing it..

Edited November 24, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Language

[Myabee]

4 hours ago, glows said:

Do you need that other fb account? Why have more than one? Won't it feel so much lighter not to have that connection or to delete him or an account you rarely use?

I do use it for political posting and I am not deleting my entire life due to this sorry ass! I just woke up at 5:45 am east coast time. First thing I did was go under that account to prove my theory he is clearly more of a swine then I thought. As he was active 4 hours ago. That means at 1:45 am he was messaging someone? I was not born yesterday and I doubt it was any of his family because they are on the east coast and that is 1:45 am his time pfffftttttt!! You know..... this could be that another OW does exist and perhaps his wife does need to know..... ?????? sorry but this is such crap. 

[Myabee]

16 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

There's a few things you can do to feel better. Delete and block him from all your social media and messaging apps.

Don't drown your sorrows. If alcohol has become a crutch, address underlying issues. Check out some sobriety support groups.

Get to a physician for an evaluation of your physical and mental health. Ask for a referral to a qualified therapist.

This has very little to do with him and at some level you know this.

When you resolve and focus on the real problems they'll get solved. Right now you're using all this to avoid real issues and as a receptacle for all your pain.

 

He is not on any of my actual media nor fake account. As for drinking omg no! Alcohol has never been any type of issue for me at all. I admit I did get very drunk to drown him out of my head... but that only made it worse. I have had therapy in place since my oldest who is now 22 was 16... hooked up with therapy then as support of raising teenagers and starting exit plan from abusive marriage. Yes of course i have some issues that have arised from those years of emotional abuse...it takes a lomg time to work through that. I never deny my issues Wise... I deal with them straight on! Only way to work through it! 

Edited November 24, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
languge

[Starswillshine]

Myabee,

Please remember his behavior is no reflection on you. It is his character. He thought himself entitled to having a wife and a woman on the side to shower him with affection. This does not mean you are not worthy, or that his wife is better, etc. 

Fwiw, when I caught my ex-husband, for me to even consider working on our marriage, he was not allowed to have any contact with the OW, and I was to be given access to everything. This was including work emails and access to his entire computer in live time. However, as he felt more comfortable, he still figured out a way to get in contact with his OW. One might think that it may have meant he really wanted to be with his OW. But truth is, he just really wanted to continue getting his doses of attention. But even more so because then he had two women going crazy over him. Even the anger flattered him. When I found out again and kicked him out, he did not go running into his OW's arms. 

Absolutely no doubt, all of his confusing contact with OW broke her down. The back and forth. The ups and downs. While I don't appreciate her harassment, I understood where it has come from.

The best thing you can do for yourself (and I see you have made some steps for this) is to make sure there is no way for him to contact you. For your own sanity. Because it will only confuse you and tug at your heart, prolonging the heartbreak. 

Find some new hobbies, try to find new ways to meet people, and get yourself busy. Have a support system. I had to have emergency back up medicine for my panic attacks, so do not be afraid to talk to your doctor about it (just make sure to treat them wisely as you don't want to fall into addiction). Write out your feelings. Keep a journal. All the things you want to say to him, write it down. Get that anger and negativity out of your brain. Sonyou can start working to clear it all. 

I wish you all the best. These things hurt the very core of your being. Chin up! You can get through this! 

[Starswillshine]

7 minutes ago, Myabee said:

I do use it for political posting and I am not deleting my entire life due to this sorry ass! I just woke up at 5:45 am east coast time. First thing I did was go under that account to prove my theory he is clearly more of a swine then I thought. As he was active 4 hours ago. That means at 1:45 am he was messaging someone? I was not born yesterday and I doubt it was any of his family because they are on the east coast and that is 1:45 am his time pfffftttttt!! You know..... this could be that another OW does exist and perhaps his wife does need to know..... ?????? sorry but this is such crap. 

I believe Facebook messenger shows when someone is active on either Facebook itself and/or messenger. Not to defend his sorry rear, but he could have only been scrolling through Facebook. 

Signed,

Someone who gave her new (relatively) boyfriend so much hell over the active time because i once had a cheating scumbag husband

[Myabee]

16 minutes ago, Myabee said:

I do use it for political posting and I am not deleting my entire life due to this sorry ass! I just woke up at 5:45 am east coast time. First thing I did was go under that account to prove my theory he is clearly more of a swine then I thought. As he was active 4 hours ago. That means at 1:45 am he was messaging someone? I was not born yesterday and I doubt it was any of his family because they are on the east coast and that is 1:45 am his time pfffftttttt!! You know..... this could be that another OW does exist and perhaps his wife does need to know..... ?????? sorry but this is such crap. 

Ok now i could be wrong about that! I asked this question and got an answer online 

 

so it might just be he was reading his fb is all.  

 

I answered the same question many times. My answer is a big YES. Facebook and Messenger are two different applications using the same website. When you are using Facebook application, it will show you as “Active” on Messenger too and you won’t be able to see the messages till you install Messenger. However when you are browsing Facebook web, it will show you online and will direct you to messenger when someone messages you. Don’t be confused with Facebook and Messenger, they are parts of the same body.

Facebook Web = Facebook + Messenger (Online with Green dot)

Facebook app = Facebook + Message notification. (Active)

Facebook app + Messenger app = You get everything!

[stillafool]

2 hours ago, Myabee said:

I do use it for political posting and I am not deleting my entire life due to this sorry ass! I just woke up at 5:45 am east coast time. First thing I did was go under that account to prove my theory he is clearly more of a swine then I thought. As he was active 4 hours ago. That means at 1:45 am he was messaging someone? I was not born yesterday and I doubt it was any of his family because they are on the east coast and that is 1:45 am his time pfffftttttt!! You know..... this could be that another OW does exist and perhaps his wife does need to know..... ?????? sorry but this is such crap. 

I told you he had another OW but you didn't believe it.  Now stop spying and obsessing over this guy.  Stop looking to see what he's doing if you really are through with him and moving on.  Don't tell the wife because it's clear you are doing it out of jealousy and bitterness.  This is what happens in affairs when OW get too serious and MM just wants some fun.

Edited November 24, 2021 by stillafool

[Myabee]

3 minutes ago, stillafool said:

I told you he had another OW but you didn't believe it.  Now stop spying and obsessing over this guy.  Stop looking to see what he's doing if you really are through with him and moving on.

I know! Hard to let go. Not sure why part of me still loves him?????