do they actually leave?

[Wiseman2]

11 hours ago, Myabee said:

do they actually leave?

Is that the goal for you? 

[Myabee]

8 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Is that the goal for you? 

 No. I was dropped like a rock! The man is a coward and is not leaving his marriage clearly. 

[Myabee]

16 hours ago, stillafool said:

Yeah you let him put you on hold instead of telling him to go kick rocks and move on with your life.  I hope you are able to start soon.

Yeah no! He thinks Im on hold but the truth is I am not. Also, I have a pretty strong feeling that telling me he would reach out at some point was and is complete BS. The more I look at this the more I feel like she probably never found out a thing and this was all just a way to get away from me. I have passed over the crying stage and now am angry at the situation. I guess to heal one needs to go through all of the stages of grief. Literally this has been one of the worst experiences of my life and I never wish to repeat it.

[BlindsidedTwice]

30 minutes ago, Myabee said:

Literally this has been one of the worst experiences of my life and I never wish to repeat it.

I feel this so deeply about my own affair. 

 

This has been a long and challenging road for you Myabee, but if you can stick to your resolve here, you will heal and come out of it a stronger, happier, confident, authentic person.

Keep him blocked. Stick with the therapy. I wish you the very best of luck. You’ve got this!!!

[Myabee]

47 minutes ago, BlindsidedTwice said:

I feel this so deeply about my own affair. 

 

This has been a long and challenging road for you Myabee, but if you can stick to your resolve here, you will heal and come out of it a stronger, happier, confident, authentic person.

Keep him blocked. Stick with the therapy. I wish you the very best of luck. You’ve got this!!!

It is a horrendous path to walk. I literally cried from Thursday  D-day until Sunday. Come Monday I was filled with anger at myself and him. He told me he deleted my number any way and I deleted his. The last thing he said to me was everything I told you was the truth and that he loves me. Well ok yeah sure!! I don't even think I believe any of that.

Edited November 23, 2021 by Myabee

[stillafool]

1 hour ago, Myabee said:

I guess to heal one needs to go through all of the stages of grief. Literally this has been one of the worst experiences of my life and I never wish to repeat it.

Yep you're correct and it seems you are creeping into the final stage already which is Anger.  Anger will open your eyes and help you push forward.  In 8 more months or less he'll be far behind in your rear view.

[Myabee]

11 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Yep you're correct and it seems you are creeping into the final stage already which is Anger.  Anger will open your eyes and help you push forward.  In 8 more months or less he'll be far behind in your rear view.

I do hope so. Today I'm having productivity issues big time. I can't get it together at all. I realize now what a crutch he had been for me. Crutch gone I have fallen flat on my face pathetically.  I don't wish this on anyone!!!!!!

Edited November 23, 2021 by Myabee

[glows]

Get back up and brush yourself off. We're here to support you. Big hugs. Keep posting.

[Myabee]

6 minutes ago, glows said:

Get back up and brush yourself off. We're here to support you. Big hugs. Keep posting.

I'm trying. Glaring at a undecorated Christmas tree with a very bad hangover which btw drinking to numb the pain is not the answer at all it just makes it worse

[glows]

3 minutes ago, Myabee said:

I'm trying. Glaring at a undecorated Christmas tree with a very bad hangover which btw drinking to numb the pain is not the answer at all it just makes it worse

No, it is not! Have something to eat and sleep this off. Go for a run or a swim if you find things too distracting. Exercise does a lot of good.

[catbestfriend]

2 hours ago, BlindsidedTwice said:

 

This has been a long and challenging road for you Myabee, but if you can stick to your resolve here, you will heal and come out of it a stronger, happier, confident, authentic person.

Keep him blocked. Stick with the therapy. I wish you the very best of luck. You’ve got this!!!

I agree, you got this! Stick with this resolve and know that people are rooting for you. 

[Myabee]

4 minutes ago, catbestfriend said:

I agree, you got this! Stick with this resolve and know that people are rooting for you. 

I hope so.It literally makes me sick

[Myabee]

42 minutes ago, glows said:

No, it is not! Have something to eat and sleep this off. Go for a run or a swim if you find things too distracting. Exercise does a lot of good.

I did myself a favor and poured out 2 bottles of wine and some vodka I had... gone. Sticking to water and hot tea.. Alcohol is a depressant not good! 

[glows]

I never found anything redeeming in alcohol. It tires me out and slows me down. It feels so much better being productive and active. Tea is good!

[Myabee]

59 minutes ago, glows said:

I never found anything redeeming in alcohol. It tires me out and slows me down. It feels so much better being productive and active. Tea is good!

I Agree.... fattening too and it was making me cry... I don't need that. This hurts. I feel abandoned and broken like how could he even do that to me just shut me down 100%? Finally made a fire, put on some homemade soup and trimming the tree with my daughter. Not smiling though he's on my mind.  

Edited November 23, 2021 by Myabee

[hajk]

7 minutes ago, Myabee said:

This hurts. I feel abandoned and broken like how could he even do that to me just shut me down 100%? 

@Myabee he does not care about you or anyone.  He only cares about himself.

[BlindsidedTwice]

18 minutes ago, Myabee said:

like how could he even do that to me

The day after my AP ended things, I went for a run early in the morning and sobbed out loud to no one, “how could you do me like this?”

I had been vulnerable and trusting and secretive with a man who threw me away like it was nothing. 

It’s a horrible feeling Myabee. I remember those moments clearly. The stunning disbelief that he was gone. Wondering if this was really it. Realizing it was. Wine. Crying in the shower. Running and exercising an obsessive amount. Questioning everything... It was madness! 

In time, with strict NC and professional therapy, you will be able to see your value outside of the value he assigned you.

It takes time and work and a promise to yourself that you are worth it. You are worth it.

Edited November 23, 2021 by BlindsidedTwice

[Myabee]

14 minutes ago, hajk said:

@Myabee he does not care about you or anyone.  He only cares about himself.

Yup! Just saw that he blocked me on social media. Figured that was coming. 

[Myabee]

33 minutes ago, BlindsidedTwice said:

The day after my AP ended things, I went for a run early in the morning and sobbed out loud to no one, “how could you do me like this?”

I had been vulnerable and trusting and secretive with a man who threw me away like it was nothing. 

It’s a horrible feeling Myabee. I remember those moments clearly. The stunning disbelief that he was gone. Wondering if this was really it. Realizing it was. Wine. Crying in the shower. Running and exercising an obsessive amount. Questioning everything... It was madness! 

In time, with strict NC and professional therapy, you will be able to see your value outside of the value he assigned you.

It takes time and work and a promise to yourself that you are worth it. You are worth it.

I'm sorry you went through this too. I am glad I have a therapy person already that will help me. I am in shock that I fell for all of his total bullcrap. And now I'm pretty sure that by him blocking me all over that's a sure sign the wife did find out and hes now saving face. Onto his next victim I suppose... I want to throw up. 

Edited November 23, 2021 by Myabee

[basil67]

20 minutes ago, Myabee said:

Yup! Just saw that he blocked me on social media. Figured that was coming. 

Well this is one smart thing from him.  Be glad - it will help you move on.

[basil67]

1 minute ago, Myabee said:

 Onto his next victim I suppose... I want to throw up. 

Kindly, you are not a victim. You knew he was married and chose to play with him regardless.   

Part of healing involves acknowledging how our own decisions contribute to our current situations.

 

[Myabee]

13 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Well this is one smart thing from him.  Be glad - it will help you move on.

That hurt! But it showed that I meant nothing and he did nothing but lie to me.  I should put my profile pic as a photo of him and me from May Then if he stalks me some other way he will freak out.

Edited November 23, 2021 by Myabee

[Myabee]

7 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Kindly, you are not a victim. You knew he was married and chose to play with him regardless.   

Part of healing involves acknowledging how our own decisions contribute to our current situations.

 

Oh I have accepted my part. I say victim because I have a feeling a new OW will exist soon enough and she well just be spoon feed lies and not even realize how bad it is... I certainly believed a ton of bs that I never should have.  

[basil67]

4 minutes ago, Myabee said:

That hurt! But it showed that I meant nothing and he did nothing but lie to me.  

But you've already started blocking him haven't you?  This is just another step which needed to be done.  It doesn't matter which one of you did it.

[basil67]

3 minutes ago, Myabee said:

Oh I have accepted my part. I say victim because I have a feeling a new OW will exist soon enough and she well just be spoon feed lies and not even realize how bad it is... I certainly believed a ton of bs that I never should have.  

If she knows he's married and decides to have a relationship with him anyway, she will not be a victim either.