do they actually leave?

[BaileyB]

2 minutes ago, Myabee said:

Lesson learned to say the least and I doubt she even knows a thing i call big lie 

Are you ready to block him yet?

[Myabee]

4 minutes ago, BaileyB said:

It looks like he chose to save his own behind…

But, he offered you some more false hope - who knows what will happen long term… It may still be you, someday…

Once things settle down, it can all go back to normal and things will be fine. Lucky you.

Oh I bet if I emailed this woman that she would not have a clue and this is all one enormous lie on his part... A big part of me feels like I should

[Myabee]

1 minute ago, BaileyB said:

Are you ready to block him yet?

Phone number deleted! 

[RebeccaR]

I imagine she did find something or become suspicious. It didn’t seem he was looking for an excuse to end things. On the contrary, when you blocked him he was trying to send you messages through friends. He has no reason to end it. 

[hajk]

On 11/19/2021 at 10:21 AM, Myabee said:

Well now he is going to tell her the truth apparently as he is sick of being at her mercy.

 

On 11/19/2021 at 10:59 AM, Myabee said:

He said that he feels this is a silver-lining to confront things that can either be fixed or not.

 

8 hours ago, Myabee said:

He claimed he does not see that it's fixable and then we talked more about how in a sense we both had been married to a controlling partner as she rules the roost and he has given her that power.

 

4 hours ago, Myabee said:

He did say this was the silver lining to confront stuff that has been a long time coming. He also said he would reach out after laying low for a while.

 

3 hours ago, Myabee said:

He does not like being controlled by her at all.

 

3 hours ago, Myabee said:

As far as I know.... if it's the truth he sees this as an opportunity to lay it all on the line. Be bold and not spineless enough to say hey this is not working out anymore.

 

3 hours ago, Myabee said:

In his case he had been keeping it all inside and truly does not like it. It was just not the lack of sex but also she laughs at his career and rules the roost. 

 

54 minutes ago, Myabee said:

Oh you are not kidding and so flipping right! I have now figured out that I have been 100% fooled big time. I knew if I text him today at work to selfishly ease my anxiety he would answer.... It started with are you ok.... then onto a short phone call... mark my word the last phone call ever! I asked if he was being thrown out? He said they are ok for the short term? Long term he has no clue. I said wait... you have a salary you can move out anytime you want.... his reply.... oh she would turn off bank cards and oh that he would have no car??? Oh come on already flipping Jesus does he think I am that stupid? I almost bet if I called his wife she did not find out and this is his ploy to get rid of me. He claims she made him take the password off of his phone and she can check it anytime. He can have no contact with me until he knows the outcome long term with them because that would be lying to her. Then has the audacity to say he loves me and nothing has changed and he will reach out at some other time... Bs.... pffftttt to him.  Now I can move the heck on this is all one big lie!!!!!!! Liar liar liar!!!!! I did actually throw up.  

@Myabee it does not sound like he wants to change or fix anything, just all excuses...

Edited November 20, 2021 by hajk

[Myabee]

7 minutes ago, RebeccaR said:

I imagine she did find something or become suspicious. It didn’t seem he was looking for an excuse to end things. On the contrary, when you blocked him he was trying to send you messages through friends. He has no reason to end it. 

I have no idea. I do know he hates confrontation of any type. and he even just said on the phone he wont confront the issues now because shes so upset. But the last few weeks he has felt pressure from me to make a choice... i really think this was his way out... put fear in me... that she knows. 

[BaileyB]

8 minutes ago, Myabee said:

I do know he hates confrontation of any type.

Kindly, you don’t know anything about this man. 

8 minutes ago, Myabee said:

i really think this was his way out... put fear in me... that she knows. 

Why would you fear a woman who lives so far from you? what do you fear that she would do to you?

If you end this relationship, it should be because he has not been honest with you and followed through on anything he has said - not because you fear his wife.

Edited November 20, 2021 by BaileyB

[hajk]

26 minutes ago, Myabee said:

Phone number deleted! 

@Myabee Good for you, but did you previously say that you have his phone number memorized?

[Myabee]

4 minutes ago, BaileyB said:

Kindly, you don’t know anything about this man. 

Why would you fear a woman who lives so far from you? what do you fear that she would do to you?

If you end this relationship, it should be because he has not been honest with you and followed through on anything he has said - not because you fear his wife.

He claims he is telling me the truth!!! Golly darn I don't know what to believe??? Pfffft! Ugh! Do you think I should just contact her and come clean with it all since he says she knows? Because I guarantee if she really does it's not even close to the truth! 

[Myabee]

2 minutes ago, hajk said:

@Myabee Good for you, but did you previously say that you have his phone number memorized?

Not anymore 

[BaileyB]

3 minutes ago, Myabee said:

Do you think I should just contact her and come clean with it all since he says she knows?

I’ve said it all along - I think you should walk away and let this go…

What do you solve by getting more involved in this drama?

Seriously girl - boundaries. You need to develop some.

[BaileyB]

9 minutes ago, Myabee said:

He claims he is telling me the truth!!! Golly darn I don't know what to believe???

Read hajk’s post above - lies, all lies.

Do you know what they call someone who trusts another who has been caught in a lie this many times - a fool!

Edited November 20, 2021 by BaileyB

[stillafool]

1 hour ago, Myabee said:

He said they are ok for the short term? Long term he has no clue. I said wait... you have a salary you can move out anytime you want.... his reply.... oh she would turn off bank cards and oh that he would have no car??? Oh come on already flipping Jesus does he think I am that stupid?

You are correct this is the biggest lie I've ever heard.  So according to his story he has s*** poor credit and using her credit cards that she can terminate use of at any time?  You know that's not true and I believe you are right that his wife has not found out he's just saying this stuff to end the affair.   Question is, does he have another OW? 

[RebeccaR]

8 minutes ago, Myabee said:

He claims he is telling me the truth!!! Golly darn I don't know what to believe??? Pfffft! Ugh! Do you think I should just contact her and come clean with it all since he says she knows? Because I guarantee if she really does it's not even close to the truth! 

How would this benefit you?

[hajk]

8 minutes ago, Myabee said:

He claims he is telling me the truth!!! Golly darn I don't know what to believe??? Pfffft! Ugh! Do you think I should just contact her and come clean with it all since he says she knows? Because I guarantee if she really does it's not even close to the truth! 

@Myabee too much drama.  I think it's best to just leave them alone, block their numbers and stay NC.  Leave this all behind and move forward.

[stillafool]

10 minutes ago, Myabee said:

Do you think I should just contact her and come clean with it all

Yes I do.  She deserves to know who she is married to.  Plus when you actually find out the real truth it will help you to move on with your life and not look back.

[Myabee]

3 minutes ago, stillafool said:

You are correct this is the biggest lie I've ever heard.  So according to his story he has s*** poor credit and using her credit cards that she can terminate use of at any time?  You know that's not true and I believe you are right that his wife has not found out he's just saying this stuff to end the affair.   Question is, does he have another OW? 

He might have another woman IDK? And I know in my controlling abusive marriage I experienced the control aspect of money but his marriage has not been abusive. I smell bs... and srsly If I did contact her... she prob would have no clue.  

[Myabee]

2 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Yes I do.  She deserves to know who she is married to.  Plus when you actually find out the real truth it will help you to move on with your life and not look back.

I might cool down and go for it! Not today but one day soon.

Edited November 20, 2021 by Myabee

[Myabee]

10 minutes ago, BaileyB said:

I’ve said it all along - I think you should walk away and let this go…

What do you solve by getting more involved in this drama?

Seriously girl - boundaries. You need to develop some.

Way to late for boundaries they were all crossed 18 months ago. I will cool down... and come clean to this wife who supposedly already knows. 

[Myabee]

15 minutes ago, Myabee said:

Way to late for boundaries they were all crossed 18 months ago. I will cool down... and come clean to this wife who supposedly already knows. 

I forgot this piece of bs from him:

 

If you want to believe me then believe me. You know I’m telling the truth. I’m not trying to hold onto anything and don’t know what’s going to happen with my marriage. I just want to make sure it doesn’t end suddenly in a fit of anger. All I’ve told her so far is that I ended it with you and broke off contact. I need that to be true for now. I don’t know what’s going to happen later. 

[Myabee]

31 minutes ago, Myabee said:

I forgot this piece of bs from him:

 

If you want to believe me then believe me. You know I’m telling the truth. I’m not trying to hold onto anything and don’t know what’s going to happen with my marriage. I just want to make sure it doesn’t end suddenly in a fit of anger. All I’ve told her so far is that I ended it with you and broke off contact. I need that to be true for now. I don’t know what’s going to happen later. 

Also

 

I’m not going to argue with you about how long it takes to end a twenty year marriage responsibly but it probably more than a few weeks. And I’m not promising anything one way or the other even though it looks to be in your favor. I don’t want to keep arguing with you. Please give me space and let me figure things out.  

[Daliah]

6 minutes ago, Myabee said:

Also

 

I’m not going to argue with you about how long it takes to end a twenty year marriage responsibly but it probably more than a few weeks. And I’m not promising anything one way or the other even though it looks to be in your favor. I don’t want to keep arguing with you. Please give me space and let me figure things out.  

Oh for goodness sake Myabee, he’s not going anywhere with you,___give him the space he wants and tell him to eff off and NEVER try to contact you again…You say  ‘but I love him’..no. Kindly..you don’t.  You love the man you THOUGHT he was. He’s shown you who he really is.  Believe him and shut. That. Down.  Everywhere.

[elaine567]

40 minutes ago, Myabee said:

I forgot this piece of bs from him:

 

If you want to believe me then believe me. You know I’m telling the truth. I’m not trying to hold onto anything and don’t know what’s going to happen with my marriage. I just want to make sure it doesn’t end suddenly in a fit of anger. All I’ve told her so far is that I ended it with you and broke off contact. I need that to be true for now. I don’t know what’s going to happen later. 

He had a choice to make, he made the choice and it wasn't you.
He wants you to play nice and like a good little OW make sure you do your bit to save his marriage...

20 years marriage? 
He is not going to leave. 

[Myabee]

8 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

He had a choice to make, he made the choice and it wasn't you.
He wants you to play nice and like a good little OW make sure you do your bit to save his marriage...

20 years marriage? 
He is not going to leave. 

[Myabee]

14 minutes ago, Daliah said:

Oh for goodness sake Myabee, he’s not going anywhere with you,___give him the space he wants and tell him to eff off and NEVER try to contact you again…You say  ‘but I love him’..no. Kindly..you don’t.  You love the man you THOUGHT he was. He’s shown you who he really is.  Believe him and shut. That. Down.  Everywhere.

i know