do they actually leave?

[Myabee]

3 minutes ago, BlindsidedTwice said:

Yes girl! This s*** is hard. You’ve gotten a lot of [necessary] tough love here, and I think you deserve some encouragement too! You’re doing the right thing and eventually you will feel so much better because of it.

I went right to that NC thread! I posted! That feels empowering. New day new choice. Wohoooooo! 

[RebeccaR]

Why haven you blocked him on Facebook?? And everywhere else? Not blocking = you’re not doing NC. 

[RebeccaR]

You won’t forget him if you see him still trying to get your attention on facebook and messaging apps. The only reason for not blocking is if you’re not ready to give him up 100%. You’re still holding out hope until you block him.

[Myabee]

37 minutes ago, RebeccaR said:

Why haven you blocked him on Facebook?? And everywhere else? Not blocking = you’re not doing NC. 

No contact to me is not talking or texting him. Not feeding his ego. I will eventually remove him from social media... can u just let me take baby steps to break the texting cycle? Thats the biggest issue. Thanks. 

[Myabee]

35 minutes ago, RebeccaR said:

You won’t forget him if you see him still trying to get your attention on facebook and messaging apps. The only reason for not blocking is if you’re not ready to give him up 100%. You’re still holding out hope until you block him.

No. No hope left. I will get to that. 

[RebeccaR]

5 minutes ago, Myabee said:

No contact to me is not talking or texting him. Not feeding his ego.

And what happens then is he senses you’re ignoring him and tries to get your attention, you feel good, and the cycle starts again. As long as you’re getting good feelings from anything related to him, you will remain hooked.

[Myabee]

5 minutes ago, RebeccaR said:

And what happens then is he senses you’re ignoring him and tries to get your attention, you feel good, and the cycle starts again. As long as you’re getting good feelings from anything related to him, you will remain hooked.

No! I don't work that way! This man is not my future. Not at all! 

[RebeccaR]

6 minutes ago, Myabee said:

No! I don't work that way! This man is not my future. Not at all! 

I believe you and I know you mean it. Blocking is the key to avoiding your current frustration. 

[Myabee]

11 minutes ago, RebeccaR said:

I believe you and I know you mean it. Blocking is the key to avoiding your current frustration. 

He is blocked on text. Social media is next! 

[Myabee]

On 8/20/2021 at 4:40 AM, Daisydooks said:

Yes. Straight from the cheaters handbook. Classic stuff, really. Your naiveté is remarkable. Look around here a bit more and youll see not only the same words used, but the same exact sentences.  Your situation was no different than most and your affair was not special.  It was an affair with a MM. 

THIS IS WHAT THEY ALL DO. Im not being mean, spiteful, or hateful. Im being honest. You asked "srsly?" Yes. Seriously. This is what cheaters do

So this was a happily MM player type? I do wonder what the wife would even think if she even had a clue? 

[Crazelnut]

On 9/7/2021 at 10:23 AM, Myabee said:

He is blocked on text. Social media is next! 

Do that today. You cannot leave even one avenue for him to communicate with you. 

[Starswillshine]

On 9/7/2021 at 7:29 AM, Myabee said:

Oh no wise..  those  were his words. He is using a bad state of mind as an excuse to cheat on his wife. I'm in shape, active and was never depressed. Perhaps the normal pandemic down most felt but not officially depressed. If anything was feeling more relief that my separation went well and the divorce being final is just a stones throw away. MM claims he was depressed and that lead him to act the way he did with me. Honestly i don't buy it because zero has changed with her and his life. That's just all part of the fishing line he has been using to reel me in. If MM was well then why does he want me as a BEST friend whom he claims is in love with me.  Me contacting him was just providing the friendship missing in the marriage and the sexual stuff too. I was his his ice cream  after a delicious meal.  No MORE! 

Again for the 100th time.... you have no idea what is or is not missing from his marriage. You have no idea anything a out his marriage. You are picking and choosing what to believe from him. Here is telling you that he actually is NOT lonely in his marriage. But you refuse to believe it because it goes against the narrative that you have created in your head. 

The problem with this is that it keeps you stuck with some hope and dream that maybe one day you can be together. Which is clear in that you will not block him. It is detrimental in your process of moving on and passed him. Which it seems you truly do not want to do. There is no future here; take the steps to lcear this man from your life and taking up your mental space so that you can open your heart and mind to a real, TRUE love story. You deserve that. 

[ExpatInItaly]

On 9/9/2021 at 3:35 PM, Starswillshine said:

Again for the 100th time.... you have no idea what is or is not missing from his marriage. You have no idea anything a out his marriage. You are picking and choosing what to believe from him.

Rejection can make even the smallest of ego-boosts tempting to cling on to. 

[Myabee]

On 9/9/2021 at 9:35 AM, Starswillshine said:

Again for the 100th time.... you have no idea what is or is not missing from his marriage. You have no idea anything a out his marriage. You are picking and choosing what to believe from him. Here is telling you that he actually is NOT lonely in his marriage. But you refuse to believe it because it goes against the narrative that you have created in your head. 

The problem with this is that it keeps you stuck with some hope and dream that maybe one day you can be together. Which is clear in that you will not block him. It is detrimental in your process of moving on and passed him. Which it seems you truly do not want to do. There is no future here; take the steps to lcear this man from your life and taking up your mental space so that you can open your heart and mind to a real, TRUE love story. You deserve that. 

Not sure what to say. I do love him though. It's sad I guess. 

[Wiseman2]

8 hours ago, Myabee said:

. I do love him though. It's sad I guess. 

It seems you love what you projected on to him. 

[Stevnx3]

On 9/14/2021 at 9:19 PM, Myabee said:

Not sure what to say. I do love him though. It's sad I guess. 

Indeed you love him. But you need to love yourself more, and do what is right by you, for you. You will be much more happier in the long run. 

[poppyfields]

On 9/14/2021 at 6:19 PM, Myabee said:

I do love him though. It's sad I guess. 

It doesn't have to be sad.

Love him from a distance.  Meaning, you may not ever speak with him again, but he will always remain in your heart. 

Some people we will love, deeply even, but we know for whatever reason, we were not meant to be together. 

Accept that, embrace it!  Stop fighting it.  

We all have so much love inside us, there is no reason to think you can't or won't love another.

It's not sad if you can embrace and accept that.   

 

Edited September 17, 2021 by poppyfields

[Myabee]

On 9/16/2021 at 11:19 PM, poppyfields said:

It doesn't have to be sad.

Love him from a distance.  Meaning, you may not ever speak with him again, but he will always remain in your heart. 

Some people we will love, deeply even, but we know for whatever reason, we were not meant to be together. 

Accept that, embrace it!  Stop fighting it.  

We all have so much love inside us, there is no reason to think you can't or won't love another.

It's not sad if you can embrace and accept that.   

 

I totally have given this much thought. I'm not going to lie we have been in contact with him opening up more more, reaching out first and actually speaking of including me in his future. I know he has much to wrap up before that happens. Idk what to think? We clearly wish to be together yet have  much red tape to cross yet. 

[Myabee]

On 9/15/2021 at 11:17 PM, Stevnx3 said:

Indeed you love him. But you need to love yourself more, and do what is right by you, for you. You will be much more happier in the long run. 

I do love myself believe it or not. I've worked hard to figure out what matters to me most and thats loving myself the most. 

[Myabee]

On 9/15/2021 at 5:36 AM, Wiseman2 said:

It seems you love what you projected on to him. 

No. I love the fact that I can fully be who I am with him. That we compliment one another and have formed a great friendship.

[ExpatInItaly]

16 minutes ago, Myabee said:

No. I love the fact that I can fully be who I am with him. That we compliment one another and have formed a great friendship.

I can't recall if it's already been asked or addressed in the thread, but how much time have you spent together in person?

[Stevnx3]

1 hour ago, Myabee said:

I do love myself believe it or not. I've worked hard to figure out what matters to me most and thats loving myself the most. 

That's very awesome to hear! One who loves themselves can accomplish what they are determined to.

Hopefully, you get this all figured out.

[Starswillshine]

2 hours ago, Myabee said:

I totally have given this much thought. I'm not going to lie we have been in contact with him opening up more more, reaching out first and actually speaking of including me in his future. I know he has much to wrap up before that happens. Idk what to think? We clearly wish to be together yet have  much red tape to cross yet. 

Be together, but him staying married with his wife? Because he has flat out told you he wasn't going to leave his wife. So, keep the affair going. And you're good with that? 

[Myabee]

5 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

I can't recall if it's already been asked or addressed in the thread, but how much time have you spent together in person?

Much time years back. A couple days this past May. 

[Myabee]

3 hours ago, Starswillshine said:

Be together, but him staying married with his wife? Because he has flat out told you he wasn't going to leave his wife. So, keep the affair going. And you're good with that? 

We set a time line of making this work. He does wish to leave his marriage. That's his work to do.