Author Myabee Posted August 12, 2021 Author Share Posted August 12, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, glows said: Mya, you’re upset and angry. I mentioned that anger yesterday potentially doing more harm than good. You’re addicted to the highs of toxic relationships. Now that the MM is not supplying you that toxicity(you deleted him and told him not to contact you) you are looking for another supply. This isn’t it. Take the high road and move on with your life. As I said focus on you. Not him. i don't know why glow but I will say I find your advice much kinder then others so thank you. I most likely will take the high road. I'm pretty sure I posted here to stop myself from doing this. I don't like people calling me unstable. I just really woke up to a web of lies after connecting the dots. Him today: I had every intention of leaving. I thought very seriously about it. I changed my mind and realized I didn’t want to, or couldn’t, start over. I don’t know exactly why. Or which decision I’ll end up regretting. Only time will tell. My question: And you came to this conclusion when? Hie reply: I don’t know exactly when. And I know I told you several times I wasn’t ready to do that. Probably when I tried to shift it to best friends. Which in hindsight was naive on my part and unrealistic. And unfair to you. Ok now this is all bs because we had already left it at best pals way before his camping trip... when he I was out of reach for 4 days and he missed me and then started the with the its looking like you bs. All to toxic and all baloney!!! i took the bait. Edited August 12, 2021 by Myabee Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myabee Posted August 12, 2021 Author Share Posted August 12, 2021 3 hours ago, SoulCat said: Just because they don't have children, doesn't mean they are not a 'family'. A family can come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. You'll be busting up lives though, for sure. He can bust up his life himself! He will get caught eventually. This won't end with me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted August 12, 2021 Share Posted August 12, 2021 You’re giving him a lot of control over your mind and body. All this stress is not good. It’s not about him anymore. Your life is not about this person. You have to retrain and get used to a new sense of self that has nothing to do with this guy. Do you have other outlets also? It’s good to let this out but cap it to a limit. Letting it take over is no good. Be good to yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myabee Posted August 12, 2021 Author Share Posted August 12, 2021 11 minutes ago, notbroken said: Take some time and reflect on what you've learned. Certainly there is no future and/or happiness with dating a married man - and his character is certainly in question if he is having an affair. Don't go back with him no matter what. Personally, I would want to know if I was the wife but it will only add more drama to your life to inform them. Thank you for speaking kindly. Yes no happiness with this man as he is a flat out lier and when one really thinks about it? Do I really want that???? Nooooooo! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myabee Posted August 12, 2021 Author Share Posted August 12, 2021 Just now, glows said: You’re giving him a lot of control over your mind and body. All this stress is not good. It’s not about him anymore. Your life is not about this person. You have to retrain and get used to a new sense of self that has nothing to do with this guy. Do you have other outlets also? It’s good to let this out but cap it to a limit. Letting it take over is no good. Be good to yourself. Yes I agree I was just ending it all with him for good. Off social media and now blocked in my phone. I exercise, and have plenty of stuff to keep me busy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myabee Posted August 12, 2021 Author Share Posted August 12, 2021 3 hours ago, SoulCat said: Just because they don't have children, doesn't mean they are not a 'family'. A family can come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. You'll be busting up lives though, for sure. Ok for him to bust up my life? Sure! Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 12, 2021 Share Posted August 12, 2021 (edited) 6 minutes ago, Myabee said: Ok for him to bust up my life? Sure! I don't believe anyone suggested that was ok. The difference, though, is that you volunteered to enter an affair which inherently carries the risk of busting up one's own life. His wife, on the other hand, didn't volunteer for any of this. If you ever decide to expose this, don't do it when you're as angry at him as you are now. Edited August 12, 2021 by ExpatInItaly 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 12, 2021 Share Posted August 12, 2021 1 hour ago, Myabee said: I would not say unstable... pissed off yes. Not in the right place to make a decision that could cause you harm and destroy another life. Let’s just say that… Not saying you should or should not tell, that’s your decision. Just saying, you need to be sure that you have well intended motives and that you are not making an impulsive, emotional decision. I don’t think you can say that right now… 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 12, 2021 Share Posted August 12, 2021 21 minutes ago, Myabee said: Ok for him to bust up my life? Sure! Let’s be honest here, you invited him into your life. And, there wouldn’t be a problem if he had decided to leave his wife to be with you… 3 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 12, 2021 Share Posted August 12, 2021 1 hour ago, Myabee said: Sad to realize someone you knew long ago as nice is a flat out snake. Exactly. 🐍 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myabee Posted August 12, 2021 Author Share Posted August 12, 2021 3 minutes ago, BaileyB said: Let’s be honest here, you invited him into your life. And, there wouldn’t be a problem if he had decided to leave his wife to be with you… I never invited him into my life to use me! So if your talking about that kind of invitation you are wrong. And NO! I would not be with him as he is a snake.. dishonest and a cheater. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myabee Posted August 12, 2021 Author Share Posted August 12, 2021 10 minutes ago, BaileyB said: Not in the right place to make a decision that could cause you harm and destroy another life. Let’s just say that… Not saying you should or should not tell, that’s your decision. Just saying, you need to be sure that you have well intended motives and that you are not making an impulsive, emotional decision. I don’t think you can say that right now… I explained in another post I am pretty sure i posted here to avoid actually telling her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myabee Posted August 12, 2021 Author Share Posted August 12, 2021 27 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: I don't believe anyone suggested that was ok. The difference, though, is that you volunteered to enter an affair which inherently carries the risk of busting up one's own life. His wife, on the other hand, didn't volunteer for any of this. If you ever decide to expose this, don't do it when you're as angry at him as you are now. I only got into the affair because like they all say I'm so unhappy have been for years, no sex, no connection I just do what she says and so on and so on. i seriously considering leaving her for you... I love you. What started out as a friendly lots in common messaging relationship, turned into phones calls 3-4 times a week. FaceTime sex, endless texting from 6 am his time 9 am my time until my bedtime 10:30 pm. This went on almost 13 months. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myabee Posted August 12, 2021 Author Share Posted August 12, 2021 (edited) 3 minutes ago, Myabee said: I only got into the affair because like they all say I'm so unhappy have been for years, no sex, no connection I just do what she says and so on and so on. i seriously considering leaving her for you... I love you. What started out as a friendly lots in common messaging relationship, turned into phones calls 3-4 times a week. FaceTime sex, endless texting from 6 am his time 9 am my time until my bedtime 10:30 pm. This went on almost 13 months. Oh and then the timeline layed out to divorce her and be with me. Actually know a couple women that had fell in love with a MM who did what they said and left. Now they are happy couples. The difference... it was not just words it was taking action. Edited August 12, 2021 by Myabee Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 12, 2021 Share Posted August 12, 2021 Surely you knew entering an affair was inherently risky, regardless of the reasons? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myabee Posted August 12, 2021 Author Share Posted August 12, 2021 (edited) 2 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Surely you knew entering an affair was inherently risky, regardless of the reasons? I did yes! I'm not in denial of my end of it. But i did not reach out looking for that. Not at all. Edited August 12, 2021 by Myabee Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myabee Posted August 12, 2021 Author Share Posted August 12, 2021 6 minutes ago, Myabee said: I only got into the affair because like they all say I'm so unhappy have been for years, no sex, no connection I just do what she says and so on and so on. i seriously considering leaving her for you... I love you. What started out as a friendly lots in common messaging relationship, turned into phones calls 3-4 times a week. FaceTime sex, endless texting from 6 am his time 9 am my time until my bedtime 10:30 pm. This went on almost 13 months and we meet in person end of May. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 12, 2021 Share Posted August 12, 2021 (edited) 6 minutes ago, Myabee said: I did yes! I'm not in denial of my end of it. But i did not reach out looking for that. Not at all. That doesn't really matter, in the grand scheme of things. We might not want to get burned when pass our hand over a flame. But we know that is a likely consequence. If we choose to pass our hand over the flame anyway, well, we have to understand we are indeed partly responisble for our own poor choices that produced the burn. Anyway. Getting back to the question of exposing this to his wife - yes, she probably deserves to know that her husband is a total jackhole. But what exactly are you prepared to do? Inbox her with photos, screenshots, and then? What does this "exposure" look like to you, in practical terms? Edited August 12, 2021 by ExpatInItaly 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myabee Posted August 12, 2021 Author Share Posted August 12, 2021 1 minute ago, ExpatInItaly said: That doesn't really matter, in the grand scheme of things. We might not want to get burned when pass our hand over a flame. But we know that is a likely consequence. If we choose to pass our hand over the flame anyway, well, we have to understand we are indeed partly responisble for our own poor choices that produced the burn. Again I am not in denial of my part. This was my laat text how I left it: So all the way back from last November? Hmmm you know what none of this adds up. Because you see that's not what you said when u came back from your camping trip. I am so shocked that I believed all of these lies. This is classic MM cheating behavior. I was used as a sexual tool and nothing more. And guess what? I would never have a real relationship with a cheater because it's dishonest. How sad. Oh and the medication that will bring you clarity as to if to stay or go in the future? 😂 Wow xx just wow... I want to throw up. I feel bad for you. Get help for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 12, 2021 Share Posted August 12, 2021 (edited) 37 minutes ago, Myabee said: I never invited him into my life to use me! You most certainly invited him into your life, it’s just unfortunate that it turned out this way. Had he been a fine, upstanding married man who followed through on his promises (to you)… you wouldn’t be hurt and angry now. Edited August 12, 2021 by BaileyB 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Beentheretoooften Posted August 12, 2021 Share Posted August 12, 2021 I wouldn’t. Just wash your hands of the sitch and move on with your life. Let them figure it out. Just because he lied and was snake, doesn’t mean you have to be. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 12, 2021 Share Posted August 12, 2021 2 minutes ago, BaileyB said: Had he been a fine, upstanding married man who followed through on his promises… Fine upstanding married men do not cheat on their wives... 6 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 12, 2021 Share Posted August 12, 2021 (edited) 7 minutes ago, elaine567 said: Fine upstanding married men do not cheat on their wives... Absolutely. I was being facetious. For many OW, it is a matter of perspective. Edited August 12, 2021 by BaileyB 3 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 12, 2021 Share Posted August 12, 2021 1 minute ago, Beentheretoooften said: Just because he lied and was snake, doesn’t mean you have to be. She is not going to lie or be a snake if she tells the wife, surely? She will simply tell her the truth about what her husband has been up to... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Beentheretoooften Posted August 12, 2021 Share Posted August 12, 2021 2 minutes ago, elaine567 said: She is not going to lie or be a snake if she tells the wife, surely? She will simply tell her the truth about what her husband has been up to... I just don’t think it’s her place. If this A had gone better and they were still together would she feel the urge to tell the W at that point??? If she tells it’s for all the wrong reasons 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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