Yungstagurl Posted July 8, 2021 Posted July 8, 2021 So I posted is not too long ago and at the time we were trying to work things out but its officially over. He had tried to drop a few hints I guess for me to do more and I told him the only reason I didn't was because he didn't give me anything this time and I wasn't sure if he was holding back or no longer had those feelings for me. When we talked about it he said he tried to give more energy but felt like he would waste his time and that I'm still the same and haven't changed since we met. He put all the effort and energy in the first 4-5 months even though it wasn't reciprocated and I pushed him away and that I can't shut someone down when they have strong feelings and then try to turn it back on when I want and I let it get to this point. Then he hit me with the good ole you have to give to receive saying. Apparently I don't give enough affection or open up enough to get that from him right now. He also said he wants me in his life in someway. Last week he asked me to go to the park. I went and it was interesting but nice it was almost like he was trying to start over. Like when you first start dating and you start talking and trying to get somebody to open up. He was also playful and seemed like he was trying to drop hints. It was a good day until I got sick from some food.. he stayed with me that night to make sure I was okay and nothing happened. Thats the last time I saw him and really talked to him. He has been texting me everyday. He told me that the romantic connection isnt damaged to him just not a thought as before and that no matter what life takes us through or we take each other through to keep our bond separate and let it continue to grow in its own unique way. I'm not sure what that means though. I'm hoping someone here can translate lol. I'm not sure what he really wants though. Like I've backed off and stopped calling him and texting him but I do respond when he texts me and that's everyday. It's just simple conversation. Yes I still really care about him I still have feelings for him and I really wanted it to work since we decided to just be friends I was trying to fall back. Clearly he's not ready to let me fully go just yet but I'm not sure what he wants or how to proceed. Advice, thoughts?
AnnieB Posted July 8, 2021 Posted July 8, 2021 12 minutes ago, Yungstagurl said: So I posted is not too long ago and at the time we were trying to work things out but its officially over. He had tried to drop a few hints I guess for me to do more and I told him the only reason I didn't was because he didn't give me anything this time and I wasn't sure if he was holding back or no longer had those feelings for me. When we talked about it he said he tried to give more energy but felt like he would waste his time and that I'm still the same and haven't changed since we met. He put all the effort and energy in the first 4-5 months even though it wasn't reciprocated and I pushed him away and that I can't shut someone down when they have strong feelings and then try to turn it back on when I want and I let it get to this point. Then he hit me with the good ole you have to give to receive saying. Apparently I don't give enough affection or open up enough to get that from him right now. He also said he wants me in his life in someway. Last week he asked me to go to the park. I went and it was interesting but nice it was almost like he was trying to start over. Like when you first start dating and you start talking and trying to get somebody to open up. He was also playful and seemed like he was trying to drop hints. It was a good day until I got sick from some food.. he stayed with me that night to make sure I was okay and nothing happened. Thats the last time I saw him and really talked to him. He has been texting me everyday. He told me that the romantic connection isnt damaged to him just not a thought as before and that no matter what life takes us through or we take each other through to keep our bond separate and let it continue to grow in its own unique way. I'm not sure what that means though. I'm hoping someone here can translate lol. I'm not sure what he really wants though. Like I've backed off and stopped calling him and texting him but I do respond when he texts me and that's everyday. It's just simple conversation. Yes I still really care about him I still have feelings for him and I really wanted it to work since we decided to just be friends I was trying to fall back. Clearly he's not ready to let me fully go just yet but I'm not sure what he wants or how to proceed. Advice, thoughts? It sounds like he is trying to heal some sort of attachment wound through this relationship. That sort of thing is never really healthy. I would be dating others if you're looking for a relationship, because this guy will not make good boyfriend. In your previous thread the Sumguy gave a great advice, there is some sort of projection going on with this guy. Maybe some narcissism, who knows, but there was a lovebomb and then trying to change you, that's all very typical of insecurely attached and potentially narcs.
ShyViolet Posted July 8, 2021 Posted July 8, 2021 So let me get this straight.... the relationship wasn't working, so he broke up with you. But he has declared that he still "wants you in his life in some way" and he's continuing to text you every day and initiate hanging out. You do know that you don't have to let him call all the shots, right? You sound as though you don't think you have any say in all this. If the relationship between the two of you didn't work out, then this constant texting and hanging out should stop. There is absolutely no point to it, he is playing with your emotions and stringing you along for no reason. People who broke up usually can't and should not be "friends", it just results in dragging out hurt feeling, awkwardness, and false hopes of getting back together. Just because he has said that he still wants you in his life, that doesn't mean you have no choice but to go along with that. It would be smart of you to let him know that you're not going to continue this pointless texting and hanging out. 1
Wiseman2 Posted July 8, 2021 Posted July 8, 2021 1 hour ago, Yungstagurl said: I'm not sure what he really wants though What's more important is what you want? Do you see him a pal or BF material?
Miss Spider Posted July 8, 2021 Posted July 8, 2021 (edited) How old are you all? Is my answer to this question on how to rekindle romantic interest is going to be very different depending on how old you are Edited July 8, 2021 by Cookiesandough
smackie9 Posted July 8, 2021 Posted July 8, 2021 it's pretty damn obvious this guy just can't let go, and wants to be with you...like giving you a second chance. Don't blow it from your fear of commitment. Truly this guy wants to give it a go....the ball is in your court. Reciprocate, show your true feelings for him.
Author Yungstagurl Posted July 8, 2021 Author Posted July 8, 2021 2 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: How old are you all? Is my answer to this question on how to rekindle romantic interest is going to be very different depending on how old you are Early 30's
Alpacalia Posted July 8, 2021 Posted July 8, 2021 4 hours ago, Yungstagurl said: Clearly he's not ready to let me fully go just yet but I'm not sure what he wants or how to proceed. You broke up after eight months because he felt you were emotionally closed off. I'm not sure why he thinks it's going to be any different two months later.
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