Feel like my profession is not good enough to attract high quality women

[lovers12]

I have a friend who isn't the most conventionally attractive guy. we are both in our 30s now. He only had 1 girlfriend most of his life at least from what I know about and she wasn't attractive. He got in medical school and finishing up his residency. Last I heard he has been through 4 girlfriends within the past year and they are attractive too. I am a bit envious not going to lie. I remember hanging out with him at a bar and he was trying to chat with a lady who wasn't interested and when he mentioned hes a doctor her eyes lit up. Its definitely an eyebrow raiser. Now I am not doing bad per se I am a nurse making 6 figures per year and have been told that I am good looking throughout my life, but It doesn't mean anything to me. Feel like people just say that to be nice. I have had some cute girlfriends in the past, but currently hitting a stroke of bad luck or something. 

I am just feeling jealous atm I guess. I wish it was that easy for me where you can just tell a girl your profession and her attraction level instantly increases without having to put extra effort in other things. I did a little experiment on dating profile and I put my profession as a doctor and one as a nurse and trust me I was matching up with some good looking women that I would want a relationship with as a doctor. I want to go for my NP degree and part of the reason too is increase in status. 

Edited July 7, 2021 by lovers12

[d0nnivain]

Don't change your profession or go into debt just to get a GF.  That's crazy.  

Spin it a little.  Instead of nurse say I'm in healthcare.  

[basil67]

21 minutes ago, lovers12 said:

Last I heard he has been through 4 girlfriends within the past year

He might get the girl, but he can't keep the girl.  Or, conversely, the girls don't like him enough to stay long term.  Do you really envy a guy who can't maintain a relationship?

Regarding wanting a 'high quality woman", I would argue that a woman worth having would want you for who you are, not what your job is.  Also, I think that nursing is a very noble profession.   

[CaliforniaGirl]

My cousin is a nurse and he got plenty of strange, LOL, and is now married.

Yes, some things will superficially turn a percentage of the opposite sex on. Is that what you legitimately want? Somebody who's with you because you have a high-profile job, not because you're you? I know I sound like somebody's mommy saying that, but think about it...would you want to lie in bed with someone every night not knowing she was thinking "I thought it was so hot he was a doctor, now I like the money and everything but I wish I could sleep with his friend instead"? That's taking things to extremes but if you're talking about people who literally get turned on JUST by the job (you said she wasn't otherwise attracted) then, well...she's...not actually attracted.

Also, don't begrudge your friend the years of hard work he's put into having his profession. That could be part of the turn-on - the fact that it is hard to become a doctor, so it seems to say something about the person's character. I say SEEMS...I've known some pretty crappy-as-human-beings doctors. But either way, this is your friend's "thing"...some women like his profession. Don't begrudge him that. And don't be jealous. He's him. You're you. Surely there's something about you that is attractive. 

[Miss Spider]

Yea money, status, good looks, clout etc are all things that increase options and make more women into you, in general, no lie. But you’re working with something to begin with and said you’ve still pulled cute girls before? Never stop elevating, but you’re going through a dry spell now and that’s probably why you’re thinking like that. 

Edited July 7, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[lovers12]

13 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

My cousin is a nurse and he got plenty of strange, LOL, and is now married.

Yes, some things will superficially turn a percentage of the opposite sex on. Is that what you legitimately want? Somebody who's with you because you have a high-profile job, not because you're you? I know I sound like somebody's mommy saying that, but think about it...would you want to lie in bed with someone every night not knowing she was thinking "I thought it was so hot he was a doctor, now I like the money and everything but I wish I could sleep with his friend instead"? That's taking things to extremes but if you're talking about people who literally get turned on JUST by the job (you said she wasn't otherwise attracted) then, well...she's...not actually attracted.

Also, don't begrudge your friend the years of hard work he's put into having his profession. That could be part of the turn-on - the fact that it is hard to become a doctor, so it seems to say something about the person's character. I say SEEMS...I've known some pretty crappy-as-human-beings doctors. But either way, this is your friend's "thing"...some women like his profession. Don't begrudge him that. And don't be jealous. He's him. You're you. Surely there's something about you that is attractive. 

what does "plenty of strange, LOL" mean? 

[CaliforniaGirl]

9 minutes ago, lovers12 said:

what does "plenty of strange, LOL" mean? 

Strange = sex

LOL = the way old bags like me say "laughing out loud" because somehow we still haven't mastered emojis

[jspice]

Do you really want a woman who’s going to date you or reject you based on your job? You could never be sure if she’s with you for status or not. 
Yes, a lot of women will drop their panties for a doctor but you want quality not someone who’ll jump into bed because you said “I’m John Smith M.D.” 

You're educated and have a good job. Keep being yourself. If you want to further your education for yourself, then do it but don’t do it to get girls.  
 

[Lotsgoingon]

You're stuck at the most superficial level. You can get out there and meet people. That's your duty.

Being a doctor might get a second look--it does not create excitement on a first or second date. 

Get your life together. You make 6 figures, OK, so what are your hobbies and interests such that you meet women and you have something going on. 

Some doctors (and definitely residents) work long hours and don't really take time to have a life outside medicine. 

[glows]

Type of job is a scapegoat for other issues. You're not happy with your life, maybe your work or job in nursing doesn't inspire you or interest you or you became a nurse because of pressure from family or someone suggested it's a good idea? Time to reflect on what makes you happy overall. Go out and do all the things you want to do. Meeting someone on your level is just icing on the cake.

[chillii]

8 hours ago, lovers12 said:

I have a friend who isn't the most conventionally attractive guy. we are both in our 30s now. He only had 1 girlfriend most of his life at least from what I know about and she wasn't attractive. He got in medical school and finishing up his residency. Last I heard he has been through 4 girlfriends within the past year and they are attractive too. I am a bit envious not going to lie. I remember hanging out with him at a bar and he was trying to chat with a lady who wasn't interested and when he mentioned hes a doctor her eyes lit up. Its definitely an eyebrow raiser. Now I am not doing bad per se I am a nurse making 6 figures per year and have been told that I am good looking throughout my life, but It doesn't mean anything to me. Feel like people just say that to be nice. I have had some cute girlfriends in the past, but currently hitting a stroke of bad luck or something. 

I am just feeling jealous atm I guess. I wish it was that easy for me where you can just tell a girl your profession and her attraction level instantly increases without having to put extra effort in other things. I did a little experiment on dating profile and I put my profession as a doctor and one as a nurse and trust me I was matching up with some good looking women that I would want a relationship with as a doctor. I want to go for my NP degree and part of the reason too is increase in status. 

Wth are you worried about , just a good looking woman. Wth would you even want someone that's only interested in you bc your a doctor anyway , if you were ?

Shallows finding shallow right here l'd say.

Then you say if all these looks are the b all and end all , you've had some cute gf's in the past anyway , well , what are you even complaining about just bc there's a bit of a drought for the moment, so what. Honestly , can't believe some of the people out there.

ps, and she'd not only be so shallow , but obviously not too bright either if that's all it takes. Doctors also work the longest hrs of any profession and when they are home they're usually still on call too , so she doesn't even care if she even see's him or not.

Just to below there yeah , l think unzipping pants is about as deep as this op's going.

 

 

 

Edited July 8, 2021 by chillii

[Wiseman2]

8 hours ago, lovers12 said:

 I wish it was that easy for me where you can just tell a girl your profession and her attraction level instantly increases without having to put extra effort in other things. 

Well that's just lazy, no? I bet your doctor friend puts effort into relationships and dating and that's a part of his success.

You can catfish on your dating profile but putting down physician won't instantly unzip pants if you don't have a personality.

Edited July 8, 2021 by Wiseman2

[lovers12]

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

Well that's just lazy, no? I bet your doctor friend puts effort into relationships and dating and that's a part of his success.

You can catfish on your dating profile but putting down physician won't instantly unzip pants if you don't have a personality.

so you are telling me 20+ years of existence with hardly any female attention and all of a sudden he gets doctor title and now gets many women is due to his effort into relationships lol. nice try. 

[lovers12]

1 hour ago, chillii said:

Wth are you worried about , just a good looking woman. Wth would you even want someone that's only interested in you bc your a doctor anyway , if you were ?

Shallows finding shallow right here l'd say.

Then you say if all these looks are the b all and end all , you've had some cute gf's in the past anyway , well , what are you even complaining about just bc there's a bit of a drought for the moment, so what. Honestly , can't believe some of the people out there.

ps, and she'd not only be so shallow , but obviously not too bright either if that's all it takes. Doctors also work the longest hrs of any profession and when they are home they're usually still on call too , so she doesn't even care if she even see's him or not.

Just to below there yeah , l think unzipping pants is about as deep as this op's going.

 

 

 

having some fun is always nice. 

[Trail Blazer]

What is your definition of "high quality" women?  Is that code for hot?  Because a high-quality woman isn't one who only cares about your money, status, looks, etc.

Absolutely, all of the above attributes will net high-quality women.  However, a high-quality woman wouldn't reject you for your career because you do work in a good profession.  

Most "high-quality" women won't care if you're a doctor or a mechanic (I worked as a mechanic before changing careers), as long as you have a good work ethic, have your head screwed on and you treat her with respect.

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, lovers12 said:

lol. nice try. 

Maybe they reject you for reasons other than your profession, which is a noble one.

Try not to get into the incels mindset.

[Weezy1973]

2 hours ago, lovers12 said:

so you are telling me 20+ years of existence with hardly any female attention and all of a sudden he gets doctor title and now gets many women is due to his effort into relationships lol. nice try. 

Probably has more to do with his confidence from becoming a doctor and believing it will be attractive to women, then actually having the doctor title.

 

You don’t believe you’re attractive regardless. That’s your issue. Nothing to do with your profession. 

[Amanda92]

5 hours ago, Trail Blazer said:

What is your definition of "high quality" women?  Is that code for hot?  Because a high-quality woman isn't one who only cares about your money, status, looks, etc.

Absolutely, all of the above attributes will net high-quality women.  However, a high-quality woman wouldn't reject you for your career because you do work in a good profession.  

Most "high-quality" women won't care if you're a doctor or a mechanic (I worked as a mechanic before changing careers), as long as you have a good work ethic, have your head screwed on and you treat her with respect.

I'm not sure I agree with you about this. While hearing "high-quality" women I think about women that have a good profession and I am sure they want someone who is well-educated and make good money like they do. Do you imagine that a lawyer date a shop cashier? Would they be able to go on vacation together? What would they talk about and what would they have in common?

[Trail Blazer]

6 minutes ago, Amanda92 said:

I'm not sure I agree with you about this. While hearing "high-quality" women I think about women that have a good profession and I am sure they want someone who is well-educated and make good money like they do. Do you imagine that a lawyer date a shop cashier? Would they be able to go on vacation together? What would they talk about and what would they have in common?

My ex-wife was a lawyer and I was a mechanic at the time I was with her.  My current girlfriend is a veterinarian with a PhD and I'm a high school drop-out who works on an oil rig.  Just because I never went to college doesn't mean I am not seen as having value in other areas.  

What do I talk with my girlfriend about and what do we have in common?  Well, for starters, we're just two human beings who happen to have a whole lot of chemistry.  We share the same views on life, politics, religion (or irreleigion).

For mine, I don't see anything I "lack" in education as a barrier in life.  I'm confident without being arrogant, I'm a hard worker and very resourceful.  I get things done in life and I don't really let anything or anyone stop me.  I know that's an attractive quality for many women.

I am sure that some women would turn their nose up at me, or any other dude for that matter, who hasn't completed one or more degrees with first class honors from an Ivy League school.  But hey, that's their prerogative.  In my opinion, such rigidity precludes them from ultimately being high quality because a quality person doesn't view the worth of others from such a narrow value proposition.

I don't disagree that in general people want to match with their equal.  But I wasn't using an example of a cashier at Home Depot dating a high profile defence lawyer, either.  I also understand that I may very well be an outlier.  However, my point still stands that, specifically for OP, his particular profession is noble and a high quality woman would not look down their nose at him for it.

[smackie9]

They are only attracted to the money, not your friend. Not sure why you would find that appealing if you are trying to find a relationship with meaning....

Edited July 8, 2021 by smackie9

[CaliforniaGirl]

8 hours ago, lovers12 said:

so you are telling me 20+ years of existence with hardly any female attention and all of a sudden he gets doctor title and now gets many women is due to his effort into relationships lol. nice try. 

Why are you getting annoyed? You didn't give any info, really. So people just have to put forth their best ideas of why he may be getting attention.

And if he's only in his 20s and he hasn't had much female attention until this point and now he has, that would seem to say he IS putting forth an effort.

You seem angry and resentful and maybe that's what's keeping the women away.

[Ami1uwant]

There is a group of women who will date because of career and income.  You have the money, you can get the hot chick.

[smackie9]

If he was good looking enough, he could be a dishwasher at the Red Lobster, and get chicks.

[CaliforniaGirl]

23 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said:

There is a group of women who will date because of career and income.  You have the money, you can get the hot chick.

Yes he can, if that's his aim. He said "quality" women but if he'd rather have a woman who will sleep with any man who waves money around (sorry to sound snotty, LOL...I mean this is just reality) then he can get to work like his friend did, go through all the years of school like his friend did, go through grueling 72-hour nearly-no-sleep shifts like his friend did, spend the cash or get loans for all the education like his friend did, and wind up a doctor, who can pull chicks based on being a doctor.

[smackie9]

I was just making a joke.....