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Have you ever gone out again with someone who once rejected you? What happened?

TamSy11

By TamSy11
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TamSy11 Member

TamSy11

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Say if the person initially broke up or rejected you, and eventually you guys reconciled…what happened? Who made the first move?

Happy Lemming Established Member

Happy Lemming

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I've had several women come back after they dumped me.  One of those "breakup comebacks" kind of worked out well, things were going great the second time around, then she had a family emergency and had to move away.  I understood and agreed she should go help her family.

If I was the dumper, I never went back.  I don't take breaking up lightly, so if I make the decision its over, it was for a good reason and I don't go back.

It is very rare for two people to get back together and it work the second time around.  Usually the issues/problems that broke you two up in the first place resurface and start to re-erode the relationship.

 

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smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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The dumper usually makes the first move.

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cleverusername Established Member

cleverusername

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Usually it involves them being drunk and horny and I never reply

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HiCrunchy Established Member

HiCrunchy

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Yes, and I hooked up with them bc I'm stupid 🤪

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Alpacalia Established Member

Alpacalia

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3 hours ago, TamSy11 said:

Say if the person initially broke up or rejected you, and eventually you guys reconciled…what happened? Who made the first move?

Yes. Late adolescence.

What was the reason for the parting in the first place?

It is unlikely to succeed if there is a breach of trust, or general incompatibility.

Don't rekindle your relationship because you're bored or worried you'll never find someone else.

 

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CaliforniaGirl Established Member

CaliforniaGirl

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Ugh! No!

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Allupinnit Established Member

Allupinnit

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Yes.  I was weak and stupid, and they ended up dumping me again.

EDIT: The dumper should reach out, if anyone, but even then their motives are always selfish and never good.

Edited by Allupinnit
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Uruktopi Established Member

Uruktopi

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Did it.

I married her.

Except for my daughters, I bitterly regret it.

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Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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Have never even considered it. 

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Trail Blazer Established Member

Trail Blazer

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Nah, not really.  I was talking to a girl from Bumble for a while who had my cell phone number where we'd migrated to talking.  I was trying to organize a date and then she told me she was going to see someone else.

Six weeks later, I received a message from her.  She told me that it had fallen through and if I was still keen she'd like to catch up.  She was hot AF so I thought, "why not"? 

As it turned out, after we met, I wasn't actually as keen on her as she was for me.  We went on three dates and she tried to escalate things but I couldn't see myself moving forward with her so I put and end to it.

AnnieB Established Member

AnnieB

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Oh, yes, definitely recycled some exes and with an exception of one great person, who I will always be there for and them for me, I regret it. But that one time I do not regret. This was a person from my youth and we met again 18 years later. It didn't work out because of long distance and our own personal growth we were still going through at the same time, but that experience was still worth it. I feel if this is a really special person, it's worth it, and you know who that person is:) 

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SumGuy Established Member

SumGuy

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On 7/7/2021 at 1:22 PM, TamSy11 said:

Say if the person initially broke up or rejected you, and eventually you guys reconciled…what happened? Who made the first move?

Hmmm I have, the one person who sticks out in my mind the most is we "broke up" a couple times, kind of mutual "heat of the moment" each time, maybe one more than the other and think we alternated on who broke up and who made the first move.  The make up sex was very good, perhaps part of it...we never got too personal or fought dirty when we broke-up though it always came out of a "fight."

Eventually we realized we were not compatible and the final break up was mutual and we actually remained friends and rooted for each other in finding someone else.   Guess in that regard we thoroughly explored our compatibility and incompatibility and realized though we were not compatible enough to be a couple, we were enough to be friends and in bed....neither of us thought of FWB, not sure how much of a thing that was back then.

Generally though, when someone breaks up with me there is little going back and the few times they have reached back out to me I have already moved on.  I've never reached out to someone who broke up with up me in those cases where it didn't arise out of the heat of the moment.  

CaliforniaGirl Established Member

CaliforniaGirl

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1 hour ago, AnnieB said:

Oh, yes, definitely recycled some exes and with an exception of one great person, who I will always be there for and them for me, I regret it. But that one time I do not regret. This was a person from my youth and we met again 18 years later. It didn't work out because of long distance and our own personal growth we were still going through at the same time, but that experience was still worth it. I feel if this is a really special person, it's worth it, and you know who that person is:) 

I feel like people who "dated" as adolescents or teens might be back on the table if I were to meet up with someone all these years later, LOL. That's the one exception I might make, because how on earth was it an actual breakup if you were 14 or something...you know? That's kids playing around. It's not like we were going to lock it down or anything at that time. :D

I can actually think of a couple of cute guys I kissed at parties or "went with" for two weeks :D that I'd give a second chance to!

Barring that, though...eek, no...

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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When I read about the way scientists were measuring mice intelligence with mazes and one of the criteria was that the smart ones don't go down the same dead end over and over,  I decided I wouldn't do that. 🐁

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Daisy-oliviaWentcher Established Member

Daisy-oliviaWentcher

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🤪 Hahaha really glad this question has been asked.

 

In my experience, yes I have dated a guy for seven months who previously rejected me, twice! I hadn't had a relationship in years and years and years and it was starting to negatively affect me and grind me down. I generally was lonely and was looking for love ( not even picky at this stage) I guess I didn't believe in love anymore anyway,  so when he asked " Do you want to go out with me?" after we made out on the couch one evening, I jumped at the chance. I was a little desperate to say the least.

We had been friends for years and he always gave me mixed signals- it was weird. He kept wanting to ' hang out" and when I asked about how he felt, he said he didn't feel about me in that way. It was really strange. So I said well, we can be friends, but for me its best, to not " hang out"- I was in my thirties- not a teenager- I don't need to " hang out" because if I had feelings for him and he was giving me mixed signals, it was probably best to steer clear.

 

We would go months not seeing each other and then he like would pop back up and ask to hang out again. I was okay with this, as friends. But then, it was weird mixed signals again and I asked - " Do you like me?" and he would say " No sorry" and I was like... Okay then, probably best not to hang out. He had loads of friends to hang out with, so he wasn't short of them, I just didn't want to be played around like that.

Then the last time we did decide hang out ( I know it was so stupid of me) he actually said " I've been thinking about you for month" as I thought it was strange as we hadn't seen each other in over six months- so to suddenly think about someone for a month I found odd. What I think that actually means in confused guy language is; I have been thinking you as an OPTION for a month. Really, lets be real here.

 

We decided to date as I was lonely and tired of singleness and he didn't like being single either. I did ask him why he rejected me twice and then changed his mind this time, and he didn't give a clear answer. Honestly people, even when your desperate and lonely and cannot see the RED FLAGS, at least talk to someone else about it, because ugh... it was so stupid. 

Anyway,  I kind of felt during the relationship he wasn't really 'in it" and seven months later he broke up with me over the phone and when I wanted to talk to him about it, he never did. 

My whole thing is this, if a guy comes crawling back, it might be that he has run out of other options. I know it sounds awful, but seriously, I really do believe that. 

He started dating someone else a week after he dumped me on the phone, which is no surprise to me, means that he liked this woman probably and she went out with someone else and then he dated me because he couldn't have her. As soon as she was single, he dumped my ass. Pretty obvious. 

My whole thing is this, NEVER EVER date someone who once rejected you no mater HOW LONELY you are. You will always be questioning why he wanted you this time and never be satisfied with the answer. They hurt you. Improve yourself, move on and do not give them the time of day. They'll find someone else to be a " filler" girlfriend until something better comes along, but it should not be at the expense of you and your pride. Seriously stay away.

I was really lucky, because a few months later, I found someone else. And although that relationship didn't work out unfortunately. I fell hopelessly in love with him and was eager to marry him. Any feelings I had with the guy before, vanished into thin air.  The love I had with my more current ex was something I had never felt before and it probably still stays with me today.

But even if he ( the more current ex) would come back into my life, I would still be cautious and questioning. If someone dumped you or rejected you, they had their reasons, best not to explore what they were because it's likely they would do it again and you really don't need that in your life.

AND SERIOUSLY TRUST YOUR GUT.  If something smells a bit fishy, probably means your'e swimming with a shark. GET OUT OF THE WATER AND SAVE YOURSELF!

Edited by Daisy-oliviaWentcher
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smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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Yes I did twice. Both were LTR. One dumped me because he was such a wreck. His father just died in a tragic accident just a block from his house. The breakup only lasted about an hour and he called me back. I was 16 and stupid...should have ran. He got even more  possessive/jealous/controlling after that.

The second dumped me out of the blue, and hid from me for a month that he cheated, he had one drunken fling one night partying with friends. Like an idiot, him being so remorseful I took him back after about 3 months. In that time a fooled around, dated. A year later or so he went on a steady 3 month decline of drug abuse/selling drugs. I didn't find out how bad it was until a little later after he smashed my car up. After I dumped him I found out through people he was fencing stolen goods. And to think one of my husband's friends, Heather, from our social group started dating him lol.

I have hooked up with 2 exes (ONS, one off and on booty call)....I only dated them for a couple of months tho.

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