Lotsgoingon Posted July 7, 2021 Posted July 7, 2021 Yeah, this is a real issue for guys. A friend of mine once said, "You just missed (grew beyond) the cutoff for being 'short.'" Like other qualities, this one need not be fatal in the dating market. You just gotta get your confidence together and build on your strengths. I've dated multiple women who were taller than me--and didn't think of it for one second. I'm not exaggerating. These women did not have a thing about dating taller guys. My ex once said, she was always taller than most guys, so she got used to it. She loved that I lifted weights. And there are a lot of short women right? So keep in mind that for many women who have a height preference, being taller than them is often all you need.
AnnieB Posted July 7, 2021 Posted July 7, 2021 47 minutes ago, ThatDude76 said: True! I've tried gaining weight in the past, and I can usually grow muscle, but often comes with some added fat, and I hate that, personally. I also felt it didn't necessary help that much with the ladies. When I was overweight, and then lost it, I felt a much bigger increase in attention, then when I was more frequently doing resistance training. vs being more sedentary. It won't come with added fat if you're methodical about it. If you measure your lean body mass and fat percentage and track your food, you quickly learn what affects what. You can be way on your way to a six pack in three to four weeks. Progress can be really fast when it comes to exercise. I think people always forget that. 1
smackie9 Posted July 7, 2021 Posted July 7, 2021 My brother was no G-Q man, he's ok looking. He didn't fuss about going to the gym or whatever...he just focused on getting the prize anyway he could. It's called confidence.
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 7, 2021 Posted July 7, 2021 1 hour ago, ThatDude76 said: Yes for sure! And I totally understand that. Its just if I'm visiting an online dating forum, and I see someone complaining about how their height is being perceived to be hurting their chances at dates, 9/10 times its from a man. This could again be my bias leading me to that conclusion, and not be reality. Yes, but again, there's good reason why. Even a woman who's taller than an average woman might still only be the height of an average man. Worrying about height seems to be more of a male thing overall but that seems reasonable. IMO.
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 7, 2021 Posted July 7, 2021 1 hour ago, ThatDude76 said: I see, so perhaps its more about body mass in general and not so much height? Perhaps that is why I am insecure about it, as I'm not only 169cm but also 130lbs. I have some muscle ( obviously I could have more if I worked out more) but I think a lot of it has to do with bone structure etc. The "traditional" view is that men are supposed to be bigger, and "strong." Women are supposed to be petite and "feminine." Overweight women get picked on to death on any number of forums about how absolutely undateable they are. You can find jerks anywhere and they'll push the buttons they know "work" on very insecure people. And those will be the status-quo stuff. So...a not-big (athletically) and/or not-tall guy who is susceptible to others' opinions will feel "not enough." A not-skinny Instagram 19-year-old woman will think she's "too big." It's really pretty simple. 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 7, 2021 Posted July 7, 2021 1 hour ago, stillafool said: This is the thing. If a man is good looking it doesn't matter how tall he is he's going to do well with women. Just like a very tall woman if she's good looking she's not going to have any problems. I've seen some dreamy short guys. Good looking people are good looking, facts. Some people are physically more blessed, so to speak. It's not a mystery that they'll get asked out more often. I'm starting to wonder where this thread was intended to go...I have a feeling we'll see pretty soon. 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 7, 2021 Posted July 7, 2021 1 hour ago, ThatDude76 said: True! I've tried gaining weight in the past, and I can usually grow muscle, but often comes with some added fat, and I hate that, personally. I also felt it didn't necessary help that much with the ladies. When I was overweight, and then lost it, I felt a much bigger increase in attention, then when I was more frequently doing resistance training. vs being more sedentary. Then why not quit worrying about it and just go for women who like you? Unless you're talking 2'6" and hiding under a bridge waiting for insects to fly by so you can catch them on your tongue I am sure somebody finds you cute. Why worry about women who want tall men if you're not tall? 2
Miss Spider Posted July 7, 2021 Posted July 7, 2021 Just now, CaliforniaGirl said: Unless you're talking 2'6" and hiding under a bridge waiting for insects to fly by so you can catch them on your tongue I am sure somebody finds you cute. That actually still sounds kinda cute to me 1 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 7, 2021 Posted July 7, 2021 1 minute ago, Cookiesandough said: That actually still sounds kinda cute to me Well then Cookies, have I got the man for you! ThatDude, meet Cookies. Another problem solved on LS. I really love a happy ending! 3
Author ThatDude76 Posted July 7, 2021 Author Posted July 7, 2021 54 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: Then why not quit worrying about it and just go for women who like you? Unless you're talking 2'6" and hiding under a bridge waiting for insects to fly by so you can catch them on your tongue I am sure somebody finds you cute. Why worry about women who want tall men if you're not tall? Who said I was worrying about it here? My original question was why are so many men (seem to me) be insecure about their height vs other physical factors. I admit I am insecure about it sometimes as well, but that was not my question.
Author ThatDude76 Posted July 7, 2021 Author Posted July 7, 2021 1 hour ago, elaine567 said: I meant you are far too skinny to attract women. Yes a BMI of 20 is a healthy weight but you could be up to 157lbs and still be healthy as per your BMI. I see what you are saying, and you're probably right (generally) however I have attracted woman at my size currently before, unless of course they were lying to me!
basil67 Posted July 7, 2021 Posted July 7, 2021 (edited) I think that insecure people who can't get a partner will blame whatever it is that they perceive as a fault for their insecurity. Height is an obvious one to blame, but a single tall guy could be insecure about his job. Likewise, a woman who can't get a partner will blame her intelligence. Or independence. In short, instead of addressing their insecurity and whatever it is which puts people off, they make convenient excuses. Edited July 7, 2021 by basil67 3
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 7, 2021 Posted July 7, 2021 55 minutes ago, ThatDude76 said: Who said I was worrying about it here? My original question was why are so many men (seem to me) be insecure about their height vs other physical factors. I admit I am insecure about it sometimes as well, but that was not my question. Okay, well, we're trying to answer you and you're telling us we're wrong so why don't we try this instead: why do *you* think men are insecure about their height over other factors?
Woggle Posted July 7, 2021 Posted July 7, 2021 Because smaller men are mocked and picked on. That would make anybody insecure. 2
Author ThatDude76 Posted July 8, 2021 Author Posted July 8, 2021 6 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: Okay, well, we're trying to answer you and you're telling us we're wrong so why don't we try this instead: why do *you* think men are insecure about their height over other factors? When did I say anyone here was wrong? Lots of posts here were good answers, in my opinion. Esspecially Annie's post.
Author ThatDude76 Posted July 8, 2021 Author Posted July 8, 2021 (edited) 1 minute ago, ThatDude76 said: I never said anyone's answers were wrong. Lots of posts here were good answers, in my opinion. Especially Annie's post, it was very detailed, much more than I was expecting! Edited July 8, 2021 by ThatDude76 Whoops meant to edit my original response
Author ThatDude76 Posted July 8, 2021 Author Posted July 8, 2021 28 minutes ago, basil67 said: I think that insecure people who can't get a partner will blame whatever it is that they perceive as a fault for their insecurity. Height is an obvious one to blame, but a single tall guy could be insecure about his job. Likewise, a woman who can't get a partner will blame her intelligence. Or independence. In short, instead of addressing their insecurity and whatever it is which puts people off, they make convenient excuses. Height is a very easy excuse, very true. I never thought of it like that before,
cleverusername Posted July 8, 2021 Posted July 8, 2021 I mean Tom Cruise is an average looking insane hobbit and he found a way around it by getting famous.
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 8, 2021 Posted July 8, 2021 5 minutes ago, ThatDude76 said: When did I say anyone here was wrong? Lots of posts here were good answers, in my opinion. Esspecially Annie's post. So what is your own opinion, as a shorter male? You'll know better than anyone. We women, or tall men, can answer what we think but what do YOU as someone who is living it, think? 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 8, 2021 Posted July 8, 2021 1 minute ago, cleverusername said: I mean Tom Cruise is an average looking insane hobbit and he found a way around it by getting famous. He has, or had, an extremely nice-looking face. 1
basil67 Posted July 8, 2021 Posted July 8, 2021 10 minutes ago, Woggle said: Because smaller men are mocked and picked on. That would make anybody insecure. Are they? I'm taller than my husband and waaay taller than my FIL. It hasn't happened to them. I've also never witnessed it. 1
basil67 Posted July 8, 2021 Posted July 8, 2021 (edited) 4 minutes ago, cleverusername said: I mean Tom Cruise is an average looking insane hobbit and he found a way around it by getting famous. He's 1.7m. That's the height of my husband - who certainly didn't need to be famous to get girlfriends Also TC has dropped off most women's radars since dumping the people who managed his media. No amount of fame is going to help someone who's nutty. Edited July 8, 2021 by basil67
Woggle Posted July 8, 2021 Posted July 8, 2021 1 minute ago, basil67 said: Are they? I'm taller than my husband and waaay taller than my FIL. It hasn't happened to them. I've also never witnessed it. I don't think it is nearly as widespread offline but online there is a lot of heightism but then a lot social media is pretty much the adult version of high school bullying. 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 8, 2021 Posted July 8, 2021 10 minutes ago, ThatDude76 said: When did I say anyone here was wrong? Lots of posts here were good answers, in my opinion. Esspecially Annie's post. Sorry, I was seeing a lot of "good point, *but* " answers. So. You ARE the group you're talking about. You'll know better than what any of us can guess. What do *you* think the reasons might be? 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 8, 2021 Posted July 8, 2021 1 minute ago, Woggle said: I don't think it is nearly as widespread offline but online there is a lot of heightism but then a lot social media is pretty much the adult version of high school bullying. People online who want to bully, are going to look for triggers they know will work. So it seems like the insecurity is already there. For men it can be the height thing, while women get bullied online for being "old and fat" (sight unseen ). Bullies always look for what they know will cut deepest. 1
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