Gentelboy Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 (edited) I have a girl that I have been dating for a year plus now, she's older than me by 3 months... I respect her a lot but she doesn't respect me at all, I don't know if it's because she is older than me by 3 months... I have quarreled with her many times because of this but she doesn't want to change, she doesn't text back on time again because of tik.**k and Facebook group chats, she's always treating me like i don't mean anything... she's just treating me like an option.. we have quarreled many times because of this but she doesn't want to change and now i don't know what to do. Edited July 5, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator formatting Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 Why are you still with her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gentelboy Posted July 5, 2021 Author Share Posted July 5, 2021 (edited) I don't even know how to answer this. I don't know if I should say that it's because I love her Edited July 5, 2021 by Gentelboy Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 6 hours ago, Gentelboy said: I respect her a lot but she doesn't respect me at all, I don't know if it's because she is older than me by 3 months No, because 3 months is not an age-gap. It doesn't mean anything. She just isn't that into you, it seems. I would end this. It's pointless to try to campaign for someone's time and attention when they're just not interested. Just to clarify, since you posted this in the LDR forum - have you met her in person? A lot of people come on here with long-distance issues, only to later reveal that it's acutally just a cyber thing and they've never met their "partner." Is that the case here, or do you also spend time with her offline? 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 6 hours ago, Gentelboy said: ... I have quarreled with her many times because of this but she doesn't want to change, we have quarreled many times because of this but she doesn't want to change . How old is she? If you feel she disrespects you, you may have to end it. You can't force anyone to change. Just observe if you are happy or not. How often do you see each other in person? Why do her social media activities annoy you? You seem to want to control her through text tethering. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 It's unlikely it's about your age. She just doesn't respect you as a person and for that, you'll need to be more careful about your company. Pick and choose individuals you'd rather have beside you. Continuing to push for change can appear controlling or inappropriate. I'd be very careful about demanding respect where there is none. That kind of thing can't be conjured out of thin air. She either respects you or she doesn't and I'm sorry if it's the latter. The more you keep trying to change her mind, the less respectful you appear. Try to keep that in mind also. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gentelboy Posted July 5, 2021 Author Share Posted July 5, 2021 1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said: No, because 3 months is not an age-gap. It doesn't mean anything. She just isn't that into you, it seems. I would end this. It's pointless to try to campaign for someone's time and attention when they're just not interested. Just to clarify, since you posted this in the LDR forum - have you met her in person? A lot of people come on here with long-distance issues, only to later reveal that it's acutally just a cyber thing and they've never met their "partner." Is that the case here, or do you also spend time with her offline? Sure, I have met her in person... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gentelboy Posted July 5, 2021 Author Share Posted July 5, 2021 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: How old is she? If you feel she disrespects you, you may have to end it. You can't force anyone to change. Just observe if you are happy or not. How often do you see each other in person? Why do her social media activities annoy you? You seem to want to control her through text tethering. her social media activities doesn't annoy me... it's not about controlling her, I'm not controlling her... I'm not even disturbing her. She just stays with her tiktok and Facebook group chat, and she doesn't even text back.. Imagine she does this throughout the day and still continue the same thing next day, we don't even talk about our self anymore... Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 6 hours ago, Gentelboy said: I don't even know how to answer this. I don't know if I should say that it's because I love her Do you love her? If so, which of her actions in the relationship make you love her? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 6 minutes ago, Gentelboy said: her social media activities doesn't annoy me... Then what's upsetting you if nothing is bothering you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gentelboy Posted July 5, 2021 Author Share Posted July 5, 2021 You didn't see what i wrote? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gentelboy Posted July 5, 2021 Author Share Posted July 5, 2021 i will text her now and she will be online but she won't text back Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 7 minutes ago, Gentelboy said: i will text her now and she will be online but she won't text back So? Why not talk and go on dates? She doesn't have to reply asap. Link to post Share on other sites
Acacia98 Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 10 hours ago, Gentelboy said: I have quarreled with her many times because of this but she doesn't want to change, she doesn't text back on time again because of tik.**k and Facebook group chats, she's always treating me like i don't mean anything... she's just treating me like an option.. we have quarreled many times because of this but she doesn't want to change and now i don't know what to do. You can't force someone to love you, to miss you, to enjoy spending time with you. If those elements are missing from your relationship, arguing with your girlfriend is pointless. I mean, do you want her to pretend she loves you and misses you and respects you? Obviously not. So stop arguing with her. End the relationship and, down the road, when you're in better emotional shape, start dating other women. The idea is to end up in a relationship with someone who loves and respects you, not to harangue a reluctant woman into pretending to love and respect you. You're not with her because you love her. What you describe is not love. It's fear of being single. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 1 hour ago, Gentelboy said: Sure, I have met her in person... And how often do you meet? It sounds like she has largely lost interest, unfortunately. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Caauug Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 10 hours ago, Gentelboy said: she doesn't respect me at all,.. I have quarreled with her many times because of this but she doesn't want to change.... she's always treating me like i don't mean anything... she's just treating me like an option.. we have quarreled many times because of this but she doesn't want to change I had to shorten that quote a little. Do you see a pattern? She treats you without respect, you speak to her and she ignores your emotional concerns... Why? Because you let her do it!! If there is no consequences to bad behavior the behavior will not change. You are now the option. Your behavior towards her bad behavior has lost all her respect. For the most part, women look for strong men that can play the role of protector/provider, her disrespect for you shows to her, you are not a strong man. Her attraction for you is gone, you are only being used. 11 hours ago, Gentelboy said: i don't know what to do. Yes you do.... What if a male friend treated you the same way? Or maybe a male business partner? Would you just take the same crap from them? Why should your GF get any better treatment from you? Actions speak loader than words, talk is cheap but her actions have proven to you, she does not value you. Let her go, work on yourself and level up. She should not be the centre of your life. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 Multiple fights about the same issues is an indication of dysfunction. You two are no closer to resolving this issue than you were when it first began because she doesn't care to change. You also have to stop texting. It is impossible to build a relationship with a device between you. You have to spend time together. If you are not doing that, you have nothing. Her repeated choosing other platforms -- tiktok & FB -- over communicating with you is an indication that she doesn't care enough about you to make the effort. So the Q remains why are you still with her? When asked earlier, you responded with a Q, are you supposed to say because you love her? First of all of you don't know whether you love her, that too is a bad sign. Second even if you think you love her, there are indicators that she does not love you, at least not enough. Especially due to the distance, she should be more eager to interact with you. However the picture I'm seeing is that you are some far away guy she kills time with occasionally when she's bored. Maybe it's time wo rethink whether this is working for you. How far is the distance in here? When are you expected to close the gap? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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