Angel29 Posted July 4, 2021 Posted July 4, 2021 There is a guy I have posted about before. He finally got in touch after his teaching course finished. He is part of my walking group too. He saw I was going to a walk and said he would come. We had a good catch up and when everyone had left the pub we chatted for half an hour and I gave him a lift home as it was too dangerous for him to walk down country lanes on his own in the dark. He invited me in for a drink. I ended up staying for 4 hours until 2am. We had some deep conversations and I stayed out so long even though I had work the next day as I had not seen him for 10 months so I wanted to know what had been going on his life. He had cut contact with me 5 months ago. He told me he ended up with depression and anxiety as he was sleeping for 3 hours a night and the course workload and teaching placement was excessive. He said he felt burnt out. I understand now why I didn't hear from him. He has to go back to his course in October for one month as covid restrictions meant he could not do teaching placement then he will have finished. At first he seemed embarrassed to admit he had not completed it on time but I reassured him he did the right thing. He said he doesn't want to go into teaching now, I felt sad he put himself through that stressful experience. He has also secured a temporary job for the next 3 months and I was proud of him and congratulated him. He congratulated me on my achievements in this difficult year too and I could tell he was happy for me. He also said he owes me dinner as last summer I bought us an expensive take out as it was my treat. He said earlier in the night he wanted to hug me. When I was leaving he said to give him a hug. We hugged for a while and I let go first. I really enjoyed hugging him and did not want it to stop. I know he is lonely as he is signing up to more walks and asked me to tell him when I am next going or we can walk on our own. I know it has only ever been friendship but I have never had such a connection with someone and we have confided a lot of personal stuff we have not told others. I know we can be good friends but I really don't want to get attached and be let down again.
Miss Spider Posted July 4, 2021 Posted July 4, 2021 Not this guy again… you should have kept him blocked 2
Blind-Sided Posted July 5, 2021 Posted July 5, 2021 14 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: Not this guy again… you should have kept him blocked yep 1
Author Angel29 Posted July 5, 2021 Author Posted July 5, 2021 15 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: Not this guy again… you should have kept him blocked I need to move on. He has just joined a mental health group. I can’t be dealing with mental health issues.
glows Posted July 5, 2021 Posted July 5, 2021 16 hours ago, Angel29 said: I know we can be good friends but I really don't want to get attached and be let down again. Looking back at your past two threads on this man, history has shown that you both aren't able to be friends. I think you're lonely. Can you just spend more time with other friends instead of looking to him for company? You also go through extremes of thinking you need to move on. You don't really have anything to move on from this person. He and you are just acquaintances through an interest/hobby group. Find some place in the middle: a way to be polite and cordial acquaintances while you do group walks but don't message him to hang out or initiate any walks with him (save that for your actual friends). 1
smackie9 Posted July 5, 2021 Posted July 5, 2021 Just be honest with him. Chit chat during the group walks is fine, but not hanging out. Whatever you choose I hope it works out better for you.
Wiseman2 Posted July 5, 2021 Posted July 5, 2021 5 hours ago, Angel29 said: He has just joined a mental health group. Ok, excellent. He can get the therapy he needs and talk to people in the support group. That way he won't be chewing your ear off.
Author Angel29 Posted July 5, 2021 Author Posted July 5, 2021 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: Ok, excellent. He can get the therapy he needs and talk to people in the support group. That way he won't be chewing your ear off. You are so right. I have had a lucky escape and am not a trained therapist. 1
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