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I don't understand what his intentions are with me


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Posted

Maybe stop dating and work on your self and what you want .

Cause....how its early ro say what you want or talk about relationship, but not to early to have sex?something so intimate!!??

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Posted
11 hours ago, Donnas said:

If you want something serious....leave sex out of it . Know first atleast what You want and what his intentions are with you.

Because if he finds you to easy or you sleep with him without knowing,it will confuse you.

Right now it seems like its just for pleasure and sex you guys are meeting.If a guy is inlove he would make time to text you during the day.

Like he got atleast breaks so he can contact you if he wanted to.

You cab ask him what he wants and tell him what you want now.but next time make sure you do this at firstdate.

Let him know what you are looking for. And askwhat he is looking for,so you dont need to waste time if he is looking for something deferent.

I found being straight up right off the bat with men to be best. When I met my H online 8 years ago, I made it abundantly clear I wanted marriage and nothing more. I didnt want a friend,  a fling, FWB, casual dates, a long term relationship... my goal in dating was to find someone to marry and settle down with/spend my life with.  If he didnt want that, it was fairly clear early on, which certainly helped a lot 

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Posted (edited)

He does not sound loving and affectionate to me, more practical and basic - would not be my choice of guy!

The reason he gave for liking relationships is extremely tacky (ugh!).  I don't think he was sounding you out for whether you wanted a relationship.

I would suggest you take your time to find out what you think of this guy before deciding on anything. Def use protection because you don't want to get pregnant to a guy who sounds pretty cold to me.

I don't think he has relationship intentions, except insofar as he could use it as an excuse not to wear condoms.  He didn't say he was interested in a relationship, just that he did not like using condoms.  

I would not recommend falling in love with this guy. He's just too cold and disconnected.

Edited by spiderowl
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Posted
3 hours ago, spiderowl said:

He does not sound loving and affectionate to me, more practical and basic - would not be my choice of guy!

The reason he gave for liking relationships is extremely tacky (ugh!).  I don't think he was sounding you out for whether you wanted a relationship.

I would suggest you take your time to find out what you think of this guy before deciding on anything. Def use protection because you don't want to get pregnant to a guy who sounds pretty cold to me.

I don't think he has relationship intentions, except insofar as he could use it as an excuse not to wear condoms.  He didn't say he was interested in a relationship, just that he did not like using condoms.  

I would not recommend falling in love with this guy. He's just too cold and disconnected.

Do you think the reason he might come across a bit cold and disconnected is because of his English? I don’t want to date a guy who is not loving and is not able to communicate how he is feeling properly, but I am not sure if that is because who he is or because of the language barrier. He speaks good English but he only moved to England from Italy in January and I can’t help but think if I was able to speak Italian with him it would be different. But it probably isn’t right? I just want to make sure I am making the right decision.
 

I was also thinking that this guy is more on the shy side and that’s why he hasn’t opened up about a lot and our communication has been a bit off. I’m definitely going to be have a talk with him next time asking him if he is looking for something casual or something more real that way I can find out what really wants. 

Posted

The language barrier could make a difference, OP, but I would still say the same thing.  You need to get to know this guy better before risking your heart.  Is he behaving in a loving way with you?  Does he call to see how you are (without suggesting a meet for sex)?  Does he ask about your family and friends?  Does he want to engage with your life in any way other than in bed?

It's up to you what you do, of course, but you haven't known him for long.  People are usually on their best behaviour early on.

Posted (edited)

Yeah it's obviously not much l mean your sleeping together but don't even talk. lt always amazes me sleeping with someone these days seems so far down the list it's like a coffee or something. Yet actually talking or being anything real and it's all this big deal. There's no actual realness going on add the once a wk and blah, it sounds like a handy fill in to me.

Edited by chillii
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Posted

It sounds like his main motivation for being in a relationship is sex without protection. If I heard a guy say this, I would lose interest because I am a romantic and our values are on the opposite ends of the spectrum. Listen to your instincts when he said this.

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