How long have you liked someone without telling them?

[The Outlaw]

There was one that I never told. I was about 19-20 at the time and I don't think she ever really knew. Too shy. Quiet. Reserved. 

[Brambling]

On 7/29/2021 at 6:32 PM, Cookiesandough said:

Seven years. And check this out, lol, I’d never even talked or them or met them either. Yeah I know I’m creepy

I have many of this type of unrequited crush...for actors, singers, celebs! 

My exemple might not be a good one, because I disclosed my feelings, not in the view to start a romantic relationship, but in order to preserve the person's self-esteem. But here it goes:

After 3 months of frequent and intimate (in an emotional sense, not physical or sexual) chatting over the phone and text, I had to tell my crush (whom I've never met in person) that I wanted no more contact, that I couldn't be his friend anymore, because I viewed him as more than a friend. I could not lie on the reason why I wanted to cut him off, because due to a disability, he's had issues in the past with rejection in social settings and friendship, so I was careful to not let him think he was the problem. So basically I had to say, "the problem is not you, it's me, and it's because I am infatuated with you".

 

 

[Brambling]

Oh sorry if I've unearthed an old thread

I'm a newbie, I'll be more mindful of the dates.

[MeadowFlower]

5 hours ago, siskin2 said:

Oh sorry if I've unearthed an old thread

I'm a newbie, I'll be more mindful of the dates.

No problem! 

5 hours ago, siskin2 said:

After 3 months of frequent and intimate (in an emotional sense, not physical or sexual) chatting over the phone and text, I had to tell my crush (whom I've never met in person) that I wanted no more contact, that I couldn't be his friend anymore, because I viewed him as more than a friend. I could not lie on the reason why I wanted to cut him off, because due to a disability, he's had issues in the past with rejection in social settings and friendship, so I was careful to not let him think he was the problem. So basically I had to say, "the problem is not you, it's me, and it's because I am infatuated with you".

How did this turn out? And why did you feel you couldn't be more than a friend with him? 

[SharpMind]

....14-16 years.

I've had a crush on her, met her before she got married, I was already married (still am unhappy), we've remained friends all these years, friends more like social media, occasional lunch/dinner friends.  I decided about 5 years ago to ghost her as it was too much emotional toll on me, until I ran into her and we picked up right where we had left in the friendship zone I guess.  Went out once pre-covid it was great and I enjoyed the time out with her, she threw out the "I love you" word but I didn't really pay much attention to it as I stand behind the friend wall - safe that way.  Now we have gotten together again and things seem slightly closer almost if I was to cross the line perhaps things would be more than friendship?  More with the "I love you, I missed you" blah blah, I chuck it up to perhaps we both feel something and don't want to cross the line etc.

In the end I will most like do what I did a few years back and retreat and ghost her and never knowing what if.

[stella]

One month. I am in a relationship since 3 years and the fact that someone else got my attention freaked me out (even though in the last 3 months things in between my boyfriend and I were not great due to very long distance + we don't completely agree anymore about future plans, and in particular about the fact that I should move where he lives leaving a city and a job I love - it's more about the city than the job itself). I am still in the process of understanding what to do. I think the new guy is interested in me, but he knows I have a boyfriend, so I might be completely wrong here. I am trying to first sort out things with my boyfriend, and let this, eventually, for later (I think this is fair), but sometimes it is really difficult not to think "does he like me or not?", or similar. Sometimes I'd like to tell him because I'd like to know, and also I feel afraid that if he really is at least a bit into me, he would just not be anymore if I let time pass (let's say in a couple of months - as I would like to avoid any break up talk over the phone - which I find very unfair).

[WWYD]

On 9/28/2021 at 12:01 AM, The Outlaw said:

There was one that I never told. I was about 19-20 at the time and I don't think she ever really knew. Too shy. Quiet. Reserved. 

I had a crush on a very pretty girl at my swim club when I was 17. Never told her - I thought she was way out of my league.

20 years later and I'm having dinner with my sister and we're talking about the swim club, and wondering what happened to the people we knew there. The name of the girl I had the crush on came up, and my sister is like "Oh HER... she had a massive crush on you - didn't I tell you that?" .

My jaw hit the floor... 

[Alpacalia]

This one man I was seeing (after we stopped seeing each other) had a thing for him for years. That was probably one of the most difficult "I sooo like this guy" feeling getting over, until someone else came along and I had been swooning over him for almost a year.

That crush replaced the first crush. 

[MeadowFlower]

On 11/14/2021 at 2:16 AM, WWYD said:

I had a crush on a very pretty girl at my swim club when I was 17. Never told her - I thought she was way out of my league.

20 years later and I'm having dinner with my sister and we're talking about the swim club, and wondering what happened to the people we knew there. The name of the girl I had the crush on came up, and my sister is like "Oh HER... she had a massive crush on you - didn't I tell you that?" .

My jaw hit the floor... 

Oh nooooooo! 

[Trail Blazer]

On 11/14/2021 at 8:58 AM, Alpaca said:

This one man I was seeing (after we stopped seeing each other) had a thing for him for years. That was probably one of the most difficult "I sooo like this guy" feeling getting over, until someone else came along and I had been swooning over him for almost a year.

That crush replaced the first crush. 

Aaaaand, did you swoon for him until the next guy, or did you eventually break the cycle and let him know?

[Alpacalia]

4 hours ago, Trail Blazer said:

Aaaaand, did you swoon for him until the next guy, or did you eventually break the cycle and let him know?

Well I think he knew when we were dating but we stopped seeing each other. 

[SharpMind]

On 11/13/2021 at 8:16 AM, WWYD said:

I had a crush on a very pretty girl at my swim club when I was 17. Never told her - I thought she was way out of my league.

20 years later and I'm having dinner with my sister and we're talking about the swim club, and wondering what happened to the people we knew there. The name of the girl I had the crush on came up, and my sister is like "Oh HER... she had a massive crush on you - didn't I tell you that?" .

My jaw hit the floor... 

Now that sucks....