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How long have you liked someone without telling them?

MeadowFlower

By MeadowFlower
in General Relationship Discussion

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MeadowFlower Established Member

MeadowFlower

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As the title says, how long have you liked someone, and not told them? What were your reasons behind but telling them and the outcome.

WWYD Member

WWYD

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A very long time (5+ years).

Reasons? Simply that she's never given any real indication that she likes me in that way too, and I'm not prepared to risk the friendship for the sake of a (probably) one-way crush. Also, I've had a relationship with someone I worked with before (same company, different building) and it didn't end well. So that's rather off-putting.

Overall, there's just too many complications. Happy to be a friend and nothing more than that, but I can still find myself in a bit of a daydream about her occasionally...

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MeadowFlower Established Member

MeadowFlower

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@WWYD, thanks for sharing. That's quite some time.. Maybe she doesn't show any indication because she thinks you only see her as a friend.

But it seems you aren't majorly into her though. 

WWYD Member

WWYD

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21 hours ago, MeadowFlower said:

@WWYD, thanks for sharing. That's quite some time.. Maybe she doesn't show any indication because she thinks you only see her as a friend.

But it seems you aren't majorly into her though. 

I'm into her more than she would know, and I'm pretty damn good at hiding it - I think. That said, I've dropped enough feelers, looked into her eyes with enough intensity - and she's never responded to it. So I can only assume she's just not into me.

And, like I said, there are enough complications that I'm not sure myself that it would be a good idea - even if she was interested in that way. I can deal with that.

All things considered, head has to win on this occasion...

 

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central Established Member

central

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If I like someone, I tend to act on it quickly - unless, of course, they are already in a relationship (or I am!).

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Weezy1973 Established Member

Weezy1973

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10 hours ago, central said:

If I like someone, I tend to act on it quickly - unless, of course, they are already in a relationship (or I am!).

Yup, not long for me either. Like what are you waiting for? Let them know, worst thing that can happen is they’re not interested. Then you move on. 

Donnas Established Member

Donnas

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Not everyone you like you should or can get with . Only when it can lead to something more it may be worth telling.

Sometimes you dont tell and move on andlet it pass🙂🤣✌️

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glows Established Member

glows

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Around five years or so. He found out and asked me out (twice!) but I declined as I wasn't interested in dating anyone at the time. Eventually when I was ready to date, I wasn't interested in him at all as he wasn't who I thought he was.

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Trail Blazer Established Member

Trail Blazer

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I did many times throughout high school, but never as an adult.  If I like someone and they're available, I will let them know of my intent.

It would be very hard to have feelings for someone who's unavailable.  I think the unavailability would force me to move on quickly.

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MeadowFlower Established Member

MeadowFlower

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On 7/9/2021 at 11:11 AM, Trail Blazer said:

I did many times throughout high school, but never as an adult.  If I like someone and they're available, I will let them know of my intent

But what if you didn't think they liked you, would you still let them know? 

basil67 Established Member

basil67

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I also had many unrequited crushes in high school.  And in answer to your question above, no, I would never tell them. 

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Trail Blazer Established Member

Trail Blazer

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4 hours ago, MeadowFlower said:

But what if you didn't think they liked you, would you still let them know? 

If I genuinely thought I had zero chance with them, then no.  I would not tell someone I liked them just for the sake of it.  

I would only ever let them know by way of asking them out on a date.  And I'd only ever do that if I thought I had a chance.

 

 

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Jbell New Member

Jbell

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I fell for my same sex friend around two years ago, tried to ignore it but the feelings just got stronger, kept getting mixed signals back , didn’t know whether to tell her or not due to how it would affect our friendship group amongst other reasons , tell each other that we love each other and only last week kissed me on the lips for the first time.

today on a walk , told me she’d started seeing a guy a couple weeks ago. I am kicking myself for not saying anything but also , should I be pleased too , I think I am for her as I want to see her happy but deep down I am devastated as I am in love with her and have never felt this way about a girl before! Obviously wasn’t meant to be and maybe for the best I said nothing, so confused though   

chillii Established Member

chillii

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Back in single days l'd wanted to see who she was and what she's about and so whether or not she was right for me first , or me her.  PS , and l never ever regretted holding back once. lt was usually bc of this or that about her or that l'd suspect, and every time my suspicions proved spot on .

Edited by chillii
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Prudence V Established Member

Prudence V

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On 7/3/2021 at 8:33 PM, MeadowFlower said:

As the title says, how long have you liked someone, and not told them? What were your reasons behind but telling them and the outcome.

I always do this - it gives me time to do my research and find out whether the initial attraction stacks up. 

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Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

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Seven years. And check this out, lol, I’d never even talked or them or met them either. Yeah I know I’m creepy

Edited by Cookiesandough
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stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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It was 5 for me and I suffered in silence.  I'm weird too.

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MeadowFlower Established Member

MeadowFlower

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@stillafool, that isn't weird. I'm suffering in silence too. 

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Cookiemom99 New Member

Cookiemom99

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2 years now. I didnt want to tell him, but then i took a risk. He didnt feel the same and we stopped talking for some time (2 weeks or less). Now we hang out for quite some time and i still want to tell him, but Im scared to lose him for real. 

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Tigerstripe40 New Member

Tigerstripe40

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6 months, maybe? 

There was a bartender that I was rather sweet on, but didn't chat her up much (busy at work), let alone hit on her (I won't hit on my servers when they are working). I figured she was out of my league anyhow. 

At one point, she mentioned something about the definition of my calves and we started talking. Got her digits, started talking more and went on a date. Unfortunately, that didn't go anywhere, but goes to show you. There is no such thing as 'out of your league'. 

 

Edited by Tigerstripe40
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MeadowFlower Established Member

MeadowFlower

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On 8/4/2021 at 9:32 AM, Cookiemom99 said:

2 years now. I didnt want to tell him, but then i took a risk. He didnt feel the same and we stopped talking for some time (2 weeks or less). Now we hang out for quite some time and i still want to tell him, but Im scared to lose him for real. 

What do you mean you still want to tell him? 

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Syd8 Established Member

Syd8

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I've liked a now former co worker for about year. Never said anything to her as she is younger than me plus has 2 kids and is in a committed relationship. Oh well. 

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Maldives Established Member

Maldives

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On 7/4/2021 at 10:45 AM, WWYD said:

A very long time (5+ years).

Reasons? Simply that she's never given any real indication that she likes me in that way too, and I'm not prepared to risk the friendship for the sake of a (probably) one-way crush. Also, I've had a relationship with someone I worked with before (same company, different building) and it didn't end well. So that's rather off-putting.

Overall, there's just too many complications. Happy to be a friend and nothing more than that, but I can still find myself in a bit of a daydream about her occasionally...

Yep same as above exactly the same 

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MeadowFlower Established Member

MeadowFlower

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14 hours ago, Goodguy05 said:

Yep same as above exactly the same 

Maybe you should tell her, she might like you too but is waiting for you...

  • 2 weeks later...
Cheryl Grey Member

Cheryl Grey

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The guy I am dating told me within the first week of messaging each other and we've said it often since then. Why would you not tell someone you like them, it shovel be given without expectation of anything back...

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