Author IntBrowser Posted July 5, 2021 Author Posted July 5, 2021 On 7/4/2021 at 10:02 AM, Gaeta said: As long as you don't get under control your gambling addiction you won't have a girlfriend. I am thinking here you were so into your gambling you had no thought for her 'at all' during that week. The other part about expecting her to treat you for your birthday is childish, you're not 12 anymore, c'mon! You turned 40 right? It's time to get the life of a 40 year old man, you need your drivers license, you need a car, you need to stop making gambling your priority. I say that in all respect Intbrower, I like you, I think your heart is in the right place and you really do want to meet the right lady but it won't happen until you get a good look at what you have to offer. you right, she wasnt supposed to treat me for my birthday. But part of me being away was to treat myself, not anyone else until after I got back
basil67 Posted July 5, 2021 Posted July 5, 2021 (edited) Is gambling so important to you that you couldn't take a few hours to date someone you like? Edited July 5, 2021 by basil67 2
Author IntBrowser Posted July 5, 2021 Author Posted July 5, 2021 (edited) 11 minutes ago, basil67 said: Is gambling so important to you that you couldn't take a few hours to date someone you like? I think it was just bad timing. I treated her to dinner on 1st date and that week that I stayed at a hotel, I wasnt in 2nd date mode because normally Im the one paying. it was my vacation week and I wasnt spending money on no one but me until it was over. So the plan was to see her once it was over Edited July 5, 2021 by IntBrowser
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 5, 2021 Posted July 5, 2021 26 minutes ago, IntBrowser said: because im shy and when her text mentioned nothing about sunday I just answered her question which was................"Did you enjoy the steakhouse" Okay. So, she was trying to get a conversation going. You could have said something like "it was great, now I know want to try the poke place. Care to join me?" Or something.
basil67 Posted July 5, 2021 Posted July 5, 2021 9 minutes ago, IntBrowser said: I think it was just bad timing. I treated her to dinner on 1st date and that week that I stayed at a hotel, I wasnt in 2nd date mode because normally Im the one paying. it was my vacation week and I wasnt spending money on no one but me until it was over. So the plan was to see her once it was over But this wasn't bad timing, this was a rigidity in thought which stopped you from changing plans. Nobody would have been let down if you'd taken just a few hours out of a week to meet her. 2
Foxhall Posted July 5, 2021 Posted July 5, 2021 9 minutes ago, IntBrowser said: it was my vacation week and I wasnt spending money on no one but me until it was over. So the plan was to see her once it was over Sometimes a woman can admire this in a man- doing things on your own terms- it shows confidence and so on, on the other hand, as a gambler myself, I have found it is never a good thing to highlight with women, also mentioning the hotel if you did not intend meeting , that was quite a novice mistake, you have to make them feel like they are the priority. still live and learn 1
Sun Seeker Posted July 6, 2021 Posted July 6, 2021 Just like the rest of your threads, your attitude is the problem. And the fact you have no idea how to interact with women. You ignore everyone's advice and make the same mistake again and again. 4
norealusername Posted July 6, 2021 Posted July 6, 2021 You have to put some effort into it once you get the first date. You have to stay in contact after the date and ask for a 2nd one before too much time passes, I think this woman probably wanted to see you again. I bet she got angry when you didn't ask her out while you were at the hotel. A lot of women want the guy to ask them out.
SumGuy Posted July 6, 2021 Posted July 6, 2021 On 7/2/2021 at 11:17 PM, IntBrowser said: Well she didnt offer to treat me and knew why I was at the hotel. If times are that tough for you how can you afford these trips? Do you really mean that or were you just a bit insecure about meeting her? Hotel, vacation, your birthday, 10 minutes away...hint, hint, you really let her not saying some magic words let you miss out on what could have been a magical night.
SumGuy Posted July 6, 2021 Posted July 6, 2021 (edited) 2 hours ago, basil67 said: Is gambling so important to you that you couldn't take a few hours to date someone you like? I also don't see how gambling is incompatible with dating. Why not invite her to join you if she likes gambling. Isn't that a fun night out for many, dress up some, (at least in all the casino ads I've seen) and are not the drinks cheap? There several days, are there not shows and other stuff? This venue was like a gimme for dating ideas and OP blew her off. OP I bet if you had asked her she would have done something for you birthday, treated you, people don't announce their presents. Edited July 6, 2021 by SumGuy 1
SumGuy Posted July 6, 2021 Posted July 6, 2021 2 hours ago, IntBrowser said: I think it was just bad timing. I treated her to dinner on 1st date and that week that I stayed at a hotel, I wasnt in 2nd date mode because normally Im the one paying. it was my vacation week and I wasnt spending money on no one but me until it was over. So the plan was to see her once it was over It was the very best timing. Once you can see how this was like a golden opportunity handed to you on a silver platter you have a chance. Gambling is your true love I think, mere humans don't compare and are not worth spending your money on. 3
Gaeta Posted July 6, 2021 Posted July 6, 2021 (edited) 27 minutes ago, SumGuy said: I also don't see how gambling is incompatible with dating. Why not invite her to join you if she likes gambling. His gambling goes beyond entertainment. It's a need & has become a refuge for him. If he had invited her he probably would have forgotten her at a table somewhere. Edited July 6, 2021 by Gaeta 4
poppyfields Posted July 6, 2021 Posted July 6, 2021 1 minute ago, Gaeta said: His gambling goes beyond entertainment. It's a need & has become a refuge for him. If he had invited her he probably would have forgot her at a table somewhere. Agree, he's an addict imo and I don't say that just from this thread but all his threads. As an addict, he doesn't process infornation the same way non-addicts do. Which is why he hasn't listened to helpful advice and continues to make the same mistakes. Like Gaeta, I also like him and truly believe he is seeking a genuine connection, sadly he has no clue how to achieve that - because he has a gambling addiction, that's his first love and first priority it would appear. I wish you the best though @IntBrowser, I hope one day you will figure this all out. 1
Author IntBrowser Posted July 6, 2021 Author Posted July 6, 2021 5 hours ago, CaliforniaGirl said: Okay. So, she was trying to get a conversation going. You could have said something like "it was great, now I know want to try the poke place. Care to join me?" Or something. I know, Its up to the man to follow through and suggest meeting up and asking her schedule. She remember I told her that I was staying there which is why she text me that night Damm Im stupid
Calmandfocused Posted July 6, 2021 Posted July 6, 2021 10 hours ago, poppyfields said: Agree, he's an addict imo and I don't say that just from this thread but all his threads. As an addict, he doesn't process infornation the same way non-addicts do. Which is why he hasn't listened to helpful advice and continues to make the same mistakes. Like Gaeta, I also like him and truly believe he is seeking a genuine connection, sadly he has no clue how to achieve that - because he has a gambling addiction, that's his first love and first priority it would appear. I wish you the best though @IntBrowser, I hope one day you will figure this all out. 100% agree with Poppy. Op is not clueless. I think he knows what we’re all saying makes perfect sense. However he’s not seeing the real issue here which is the Addiction. A serious addiction. The truth is that during that week the addiction was in full swing. Op wasn’t going to break feeding his addiction for anyone or anything. Nothing else mattered except the gambling, including this woman. If he’s honest with himself Op didn’t offer to meet up with her because he simply didn’t want to.All he wanted was to get high on his gambling adrenaline rushes. So he writes all these excuses (she didn’t treat me etc) but he’s failing to see or a knowledge the real issue- The gambling Addiction. No help with gambling addiction = no chance of girlfriend. Only you can decide what’s more important to you Op. 1
spiderowl Posted July 6, 2021 Posted July 6, 2021 I agree with others that, from what you have described, you showed little interest, OP. She initiated a text and asked a question. You answered. Did you ask her anything? Did you ask her how she is, what she is doing this week? Did she know why you were away so long? A relationships is a bit like a tennis game: one person communicates/initiates and the other responds and then asks something if they want to keep the communication going. If you just answer a question, she will assume you are not interested. In fact, it sounds like you weren't interested until your week away was finished so she might have got the right idea. Did you think of her during that time? Did you miss her? Did you wonder what she was doing/think of contacting her? Do you actually want a relationship or just sex? I am getting the feeling that interacting in a relating way is not something you need.
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