cleverusername Posted July 6, 2021 Posted July 6, 2021 (edited) Exclusive is a weird American label phenomenon. Dating people from outside of the US, a lot of the time when you go on one-date with an individual you are exclusive. You are either expected to date that one woman or tell her you're not interested and move on, but causally dating other people is viewed in a bad light.... In the US people are obsessed with putting labels on everything. If you are in the US and both American, yes have the conversation. If not, then you will probably get a weird look, I say that from expirence Edited July 6, 2021 by cleverusername 2
SumGuy Posted July 6, 2021 Posted July 6, 2021 On 7/3/2021 at 1:53 AM, ironpony said: Well when I saw her tonight, she said she wants a relationship now, but she couldn't say it before, and was nervous. So I said I want one too, and we agreed to be exclusive now. But this makes me feel even more guilty about the other woman, now, should I bring it up? It feels good when answering in order you later find had some insight. I would not bring it up, just a can of worms potentially that doesn't need to be opened now. At the time it wasn't cheating based on what she said to you.
SumGuy Posted July 6, 2021 Posted July 6, 2021 On 7/4/2021 at 9:52 AM, ironpony said: Oh well things seem to be going well now that we are in a relationship, but is that good? When is going well not good? It is like kind of no matter what is going on you question it and worry. That is not good for you.
AnnieB Posted July 6, 2021 Posted July 6, 2021 3 minutes ago, cleverusername said: Exclusive is a weird American label phenomenon. Dating people from outside of the US, a lot of the time when you go on one-date with an individual you are exclusive. You are either expected to date that one woman or tell her you're not interested and move on, but causally dating other people is viewed in a bad light.... In the US people are obsessed with putting labels on everything. If you are in the US and both American, yes have the conversation. If not, then you will probably get a weird look, I say that from expirence Ah yes, in Europe you date and sleep with one person and even if it is a brief relationship, it's considered a boyfriend, and if you want to date someone else, you break it off with the first person. In America, you date multiple people until one of them wants to be in a relationship with you, and if you want to be in a relationship with them, you become exclusive. Otherwise you just keep dating these multiple people. To me it was always a conundrum and the opposite of what's natural. In America relationships are based on a power structure, more so than feelings, and marriage has a different social status, but that's changing as women here have become more equal. 2
Author ironpony Posted July 6, 2021 Author Posted July 6, 2021 2 hours ago, AnnieB said: Ah yes, in Europe you date and sleep with one person and even if it is a brief relationship, it's considered a boyfriend, and if you want to date someone else, you break it off with the first person. In America, you date multiple people until one of them wants to be in a relationship with you, and if you want to be in a relationship with them, you become exclusive. Otherwise you just keep dating these multiple people. To me it was always a conundrum and the opposite of what's natural. In America relationships are based on a power structure, more so than feelings, and marriage has a different social status, but that's changing as women here have become more equal. Oh really, I thought that Europe was more open to non-exclusive relationships, at least from what I hear.
cleverusername Posted July 6, 2021 Posted July 6, 2021 1 minute ago, ironpony said: Oh really, I thought that Europe was more open to non-exclusive relationships, at least from what I hear. IMO Europe is a lot less about arbitrary rules and more about "go with the flow". You go on one date, you date that person and that person only, if you want to date someone else you cut it. That said, once you go on that date, there is no 3 dates until sex, or DTR talk, or anything. If it happens it happens. 1
Author ironpony Posted July 6, 2021 Author Posted July 6, 2021 Oh okay, it's just when I watch European movies, there are characters having multiple partners, and they seem to act like it's more normal and they are much more liberal about it, or so it seems in the entertainment world more so.
Alpacalia Posted July 6, 2021 Posted July 6, 2021 3 hours ago, AnnieB said: In America relationships are based on a power structure, more so than feelings, and marriage has a different social status, but that's changing as women here have become more equal. It seems that way. Maybe we can blame technology. Somewhere along the way, dating became a market. It is exacerbated by options.
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